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TWITTER MASOCHISM

2010-03-10T02:50:21Z

Time has gotten uncomfortably tight this week with the launch of the Talk Topics Twitter feed. That's not because it specifically requires a lot more work; really, it adds only the need for a second, more descriptive headline in a new form and that's it. Patrick and Warren did a great job setting up the new system and adding the Twitter API so we can now feed all the stories right to Twitter with links that take users right to my moronic prattling. For radio people who need material, it's useful; the one feed cuts the clutter and just peppers you with talk radio-ready stuff. I'm happy we've finally got it working. But it comes with one added feature: pressure. Self-imposed pressure, that is. Because the thing is out there and people are following it, there's even more pressure to feed the beast. I was already working long, long hours and pumping out copy all day; now, I'm constantly thinking that I'm slacking if there's not something new all the time. I think of the followers, and I think how they're looking for new stuff and disappointed if there isn't any since the last time they checked. So, for the last two days, I've been trying to extend the day, add more stories, start earlier, end later. Since the Topics column is only one part of my work day, and I have to write other material as well, I'm now getting afraid to even leave the computer for a few minutes, lest someone someplace check in and see nothing having been added in the previous five minutes. But I'm the only one here, so to speak. There isn't a staff writing the Topics column. It's just me, reading hundreds of websites every day, all day, and not aggregator sites, either. I put in the work. And, as it turns out, I'm human. I need a break to do other things once in a while. If I can't do that, I'm toast. I'm also not doing a BREAKING NEWS!!! column. My BREAKING NEWS!!! work is confined to radio coverage, and that goes on another page. The Topics thing is up to date, but I'm not claiming to be first with the big stories, just quick to find stuff for radio hosts to use. So I should be easier on myself. I figure that I'll find the right pace soon enough. In the meantime, excuse me: I gotta get back to the Topics column. Mustn't keep my public waiting.
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TALK TOPICS ON TWITTER!

2010-03-09T02:14:55Z

A little business: Talk Topics, which is the column of news items for radio hosts' show prep that I do for All Access, is now on Twitter for your convenience: Go here and follow for updates whenever there's new material. And, while you're at it, there's always me on Twitter, too. Another reminder, too, that Fran and I will be walking to raise funds for cancer research at the Revlon Run/Walk 2010 here in Los Angeles, so donations will be greatly appreciated. Not that I'm putting any pressure on you or anything. I know times are tight. If you can, please do. If not, that's okay. It's not a competition on my end. Every penny is better than nothing. Thanks!
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PSYCHO A GO-GO

2010-03-08T03:57:15Z

In honor of the Oscars, I... I... Oh, right, I don't much care about the Oscars. So forget it. Someone took a movie clip and synced it with the Sonics' classic "Psycho," so here it is, far preferable to "Avatar": And, over 40 years later, here they are on shaky phone cams doing the song in London, 2008:
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AH, WHAT THE HELL, EVERYONE ELSE IS GOING CRAZY FOR THIS, SO....

2010-03-07T02:16:29Z

Noted without comment.
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PLUNDERING THE PAPERS: WHAT NEVER WAS

2010-03-06T03:00:55Z

Hey, how cool is this ad from the Deseret News in Salt Lake City, circa 1963?: Those were the days of the horror movie hosts and KCPX-TV, the ABC affiliate in Salt Lake City, had "FIreman Frank," a kiddie show host who doubled as the off-screen voice of "Nightmare Theater." On this occasion, the scheduled feature was the classic "Mothra." But I'm pretty sure it never aired. I love this one, too, from the old WIIC-TV Pittsburgh (now WPXI, still an NBC affiliate): What a lineup! Liberace AND Cassius Clay/Muhammad Ali in his youth, both on Jack Paar! You absolutely would have made time to see that one... but I don't think it aired. Meanwhile, on a rival station: The ABC lineup that night was a waning "77 Sunset Strip," "Burke's Law" before the Bond craze swept him up, "The Farmer's Daughter" with the late Inger Stevens, and boxing, followed by a late night showing of "Sayonara." You might have been tempted to watch, but those shows didn't actually make it to the air that night. And here's a cool 1963-style ad for a radio station: KBEE Modesto, with the call of the annual Big Game between Cal and Stanford. That game was not played as scheduled that Saturday. The Niners-Packers game was played, amidst controversy over whether the game should have been played at all. Why these shows didn't air can be explained by the fact that these ads are all from the same day. November 22, 1963. The nation had other things on its mind.
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THIS WEEK'S "THE LETTER": INVASION!

2010-03-05T03:52:48Z

This week's All Access newsletter plays off the day's news regarding Internet audio streaming to the car, and reissues an advisory for those in the line of fire: Pandora's pushing into cars and building a sales staff. The Mini will have a dashboard display and USB interface so you can stream Net audio from your cell phone through the car's stereo system. On and on and on it goes, more ways for more programming to compete with you where you never had competition before. Oh, wait, you DID have competition in the car before. Or have we forgotten CD changers, cassette players, and 8-track players? Cell phone conversations and conversations with the person in the next seat? Billboards, the speaker at the Jack in the Box drive-thru, and the moron who just cut you off? You've never been without competition. Now, you just have more. A lot more, that is. Should you be worried? If you're the CEO of a broadcasting company and you paid a lot of money for broadcast licenses, yeah, you're looking at continued valuation problems there. Pandora doesn't need a tower on Mount Wilson and a transmitter and STL and all that. They pay for bandwidth and servers. In time, as these in-car solutions proliferate and everyone's cell phone does streaming, Internet radio will be as ubiquitous as broadcast radio, maybe more so, since the signal won't cut out as you leave the market (unless, that is, your carrier has lousy 3G service; everyone thinks his or her carrier's the worst, and they're all correct). There's life in those broadcast licenses, but every shift of a listener to streaming content makes that $75 million purchase look more and more insane. And music radio, which is presently in the thrall of programmers and advisors who, consulting the PPMs for Tuesday, March 2nd at 7:17 am, will tell you to shut up and play the music, because that's what the PPM results say. Never mind the small sample size or the impossibility of determining why a particular panel member turned the station off at that moment -- perhaps she arrived at her destination and turned the car off, perhaps she stepped into the shower, perhaps she really does hate the host. No, the Conventional Wisdom is Just Play Music. And if that's what broadcast radio does, and I can choose a Pandora Silversun Pickups channel (okay, I'm an indie-rock snob) or a Last.fm John Hiatt channel (okay, I'm old) or a Pandora Big Star channel (okay, I'm an indie-rock snob and I'm old), why would I listen to my local rock stations? For personality. For local content. For a human voice. For the occasional news, weather, time, and traffic checks. And I'll punch around that same radio dial for entertaining talk, for something that doesn't sound like my iPod. And I don't care whether I'm getting it over the Internet or from an antenna on the mountain. Before radio completely denudes itself of every vestige of compelling (and local) content, management should step away from this week's numbers and consider a future where everyone's car radio gets every Internet stream and iPod audio. You have to differentiate yourself in the new media world. "Shut up and play the music" isn't different. Which leads back to what I've said in this column so many times I'm tired of reading it myself: You either do something different and compelling or you're looking at a limited future. There is no escaping the fact that there will be an infinite number of audio entertainment options everywhere radio goes. And you can beat the customized jukeboxes and the hordes of people talking about anything and everything. That's something for which radio companies can actually be helpful: They have existing marketing clout, and they can help a show or talent or stream get noticed. I'm not sure, however, that they're thinking about their future quite in that fashion. There's too much invested in the broadcast model, but things are changing. What? How are we all going to make money when there's an infinite number of choices on the car radio dial dividing advertising revenues up into tiny little slivers? Yeah, well, that's something we gotta work on. In the meantime, just create the best and most unusual content you can, and let the business geniuses figure out the math. ========================= Part of creating compelling and unique radio is finding the best material, and sometimes you need a little help with that. Here's where to go for that: Talk Topics, the show prep extravaganza at All Access News-Talk-Sports. Once there, you'll find a long list of topic ideas with links, possible angles, and painfully stupid jokes you'd be ill-advised to borrow. Among this week's fresh material are things like kiddie condoms, Megan Fox's intimate resume, women's coleslaw wrestling, plenty of political scandals, the Worst Traffic in America (yes, it's probably where you think it is, and where I KNOW it is), a LOT of airplane and airport-related stories, the slow demise of the school photographer, the effect of winning the Oscar on your career (hint: not what you'd assume), the disappering Big Blue Mailbox, babies in bars, why to be careful where you do your ablutions, and why trendy people are keeping goats as pets and killing rabbits, plus all the "real news" of the week and more. For "10 Questions With..." this week, there's a conversation with Dan Gutierrez, the host of "The Directors Cut," a show about movies and the kind of stuff young guys talk about that's on terrestrial radio and podcasting. Check that out, then visit the rest of All Access for the latest news and columns and job listings and forums and all the resources you need, all free. ========================= Okay, I'm forgetting something, Let's think... well, Spring training's underway and Roy Halliday threw a couple of shutout innings... um... no, that wasn't it... hmm... Ah, yes, the Revlon Run/Walk for Women 2010, May 8th in Los Angeles. Once again, Fran and I are walking around the USC campus and into the Coliseum to raise money to fight cancer, and every donation will be greatly appreciated. If you're in a position to give this year, here's the link: https://www.revlonrunwalk.com/la/secure/MyWebPage.cfm?pID=533458. Thank you!
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THE CAT, IN HER DOMAIN

2010-03-04T01:46:54Z

Fran walked into the bedroom and found this: That bed is HERS. You do not mess with Ella, the World's Most Famous Cat. Go ahead, say awwwww. You know you want to.
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PLUNDERING THE PAPERS: NEW THING IN TOWN

2010-03-03T02:35:48Z

How about this one, from April 19, 1953?: The St. Petersburg Times had a whole section welcoming TV to the Tampa Bay area for the first time. Wait... 1953? Wasn't that a little late? Well, yes, it was. There WERE some hardy souls with TV sets struggling to get stray signals from Jacksonville, but it wasn't until 1953 that Tampa, surely one of the last markets to get TV, finally saw a local station fire up its signal. VHF applications had been frozen, the channels 8 and 13 allocations were being hotly contested, and the City of St Petersburg decided not to wait, putting WSUN-TV on the air in 1953 with that very test pattern and an ABC affiliation. The Times section, too bulky to reproduce here but worth a look, had ads selling every TV on the market, plus articles about the programming people would see, the ins and outs of UHF vs. VHF, and much more. It was a novelty, and everyone seemed excited. Soon enough, channels 8 and 13 would go on the air, and 38 would quickly become an also-ran. But when channel 10 was allocated to Largo and WSUN didn't get it, and the new WLCY-TV took the ABC affiliation away in 1965, WSUN was doomed. It tried going independent, but it didn't have the budget and was probably a couple of years early for that. By the end, the station was comically on for just a few hours, and the legend was that in the last days, it aired a close-up of a clock -- that's it. (I checked, and at least in the TV listings, the station was airing some westerns, "Highway Patrol," and wrestling in its final days). On February 23rd, 1970, at the end of the broadcast day, it went belly-up. The channel is now a successful, but separate, station unrelated to the old one.
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THERE WAS CAKE

2010-03-02T03:01:16Z

I ran out of time and energy to write anything here today. Here, look at a piece of cake:
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PLUNDERING THE PAPERS: LONGHAIR MUSIC

2010-03-01T02:18:47Z

This is one of the best ads I've encountered while skimming through the old papers: This was from 1957, when FM was still a novelty in very few homes, like HD Radio is now except that FM worked. I love the capitalization and underlining of "Fine Music" -- it's FM, see? -- and the utilitarian 50's design. But that cartoon logo is spectacular, an insanely grinning microphone in a tux with a baton and a mullet. Classical music... "longhair" music... geddit? Very nice. Every station should have an insanely grinning microphone as a mascot. Adam Lynch, by the way, ended up with a long career in Pittsburgh, but was better known as a TV news anchor at NBC affiliate WIIC-TV (now WPXI-TV) and ABC affiliate WTAE-TV than for his work announcing classical music. He was an area native, and the FM job got him back into town and he parlayed that into weekend weathercasting on the sister TV station; when KDKA-FM dropped the classical format, he moved on to Providence as a TV newsman, then returned to anchor on TV for decades. His whole story's here.
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PLUNDERING THE PAPERS: THAT'S HOW HE ROLLED

2010-02-28T00:12:14Z

Here's one from December 18, 1969: This was in the days when people were transitioning to calling him Muhammad Ali and speculating that he'd at some point make a comeback and possibly fight Joe Frazier in a "Fight of the Century." We know how that turned out. But that phone... in 1969, there was no iPhone, no StarTAC, not even a bag phone. If you wanted a portable, mobile phone, you carried a heavy briefcase around with you. If you were Muhammad Ali, you carried that phone. No question.
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PLUNDERING THE PAPERS: HOW THEY SPOKE IN 1969

2010-02-26T15:09:14Z

Detail from the "Jeff Cobb" comic strip, July 22, 1969: That might be the best catchphrase ever. "Nuts to You, Fuzz!" It's got that special ring to it, like "You're With Me, Leather." Quintessentially 1969.
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THIS WEEK'S "THE LETTER": SCREEN GEMS

2010-02-26T03:43:47Z

This week's All Access newsletter is a reaction to yet another organized campaign to try and tilt talk radio discussions in a particular political direction. Naturally, I use that to make another point: Remember when talk radio shows talked about stuff like abortion and gun control, and how it was always a spirited but informative debate between reasonable minds on either side of the.... Okay, it was NEVER like that. One of the first things Baby Talk Show Hosts are taught before cracking the mic open for the first time is that some topics are off limits, not because they're not worth discussing but because you can't. And you can't because organized callers on either side of the issues are ready to fill up your lines and flood your show with an endless, and pointless, parade of talking points. Some would actually read off the stuff they were fed. And, at the end, not a single mind would be changed, nobody would budge, nothing got solved, and the entertainment value of the hour would be even lower than the information value. Sadly, you're starting to see that with other topics, too, the latest example being the news that the Democratic National Committee has launched a website that instructs supporters of the president's health care plan how to call in to conservative talk shows, and provides, yes, talking points and "tips" on how to get past the screeners. Health care, whether you're for or against the current proposal, is one of the most important topics facing your listeners, and while the problem is pretty obvious to everyone, the solutions are divergent and contentious. But the topic deserves more than sloganeering and talking points, yet that's what both sides are serving up, now in handy organized-caller form. What do you do with this? How do you do an entertaining and informative show about this topic if you have people queuing up to spout the party line, just like for those other Topics Which Shall Never Be Discussed? That's where your screener is a critical player in the success of your show. A radio show that takes calls needs a gatekeeper who can recognize the robo-callers, who can quickly get a caller to distill what he or she wants to say into a quick, effective comment, who can weed out the phonies and the talking points readers on either side. A caller-driven show is only as good as the calls that get on the air, so the screener may be the most important person in the building. That's why most stations just stick some intern or newbie in there and treat him or her like a peon. Oh, wait, that doesn't make sense, does it? Yet, that's how radio treats producers and screeners. There are notable exceptions, especially on the biggest syndicated and local shows, but too many stations economize in the support staff department. It's been like this for years; in my programming days, there just wasn't a budget for it. I ended up with some excellent screeners and producers, but I got lucky. And when you don't get lucky, the result is obvious, right there on the air. It's not just management's fault. How many shows assign an allegedly "wacky" name to the screener and the producer and use them as punch lines? Morning shows have done it forever, and, of course, once there was "Baba Booey," every "edgy" show had to have their own. How many really sharp, smart, capable people who could have done those jobs very well never even applied for the positions because they just didn't want to be a joke? It doesn't matter how well you treat that screener off the air. Nobody with any ambition or, for that matter, self esteem aspires to be someone's punching bag, not even for comedy's sake. (Most shows shouldn't be talking to, or about, the screener anyway. It's a crutch. Leave some things behind the scenes) And a producer shouldn't be there to get you coffee. Get your own coffee and let the producer develop material, book guests, and plan your show. In other media, "producer" is the top of the heap. A movie or TV producer is royalty. In radio, we don't offer that kind of respect to the position. We should. I know that radio stations are strapped for cash like everyone else, but if they want to do talk radio, they need to start treating the screener and producer positions seriously, and the people doing those jobs as professionals. A good screener keeps those organized callers off the air and makes the callers that DO get through sound better (and keeps the prank calls from sneaking through, too). A good producer is invaluable to creating great radio, something you really learn when you don't have a great producer, or, in too many cases, any producer at all. Great shows have great staffs. It's not that hard to grasp. ========================= Even with a great producer, though, you often need help coming up with material to talk about, don't you? Of course you do. And that's why there's Talk Topics, the show prep column at All Access News-Talk-Sports. Visit anytime for hundreds of topic ideas with moronic jokey commentary and links to the full stories; so far this week, for example, you'll find items like a discussion of "toys you used to love that look totally boring now," the lap dancing teachers, Susan Boyle's angst, California's anti-cussing bill, "settling" for a spouse, Octomom on "The View" (shudder), women's-only toilets on airplanes, the unnecessary nature of most emergency room visits, curling clubs, personal jet packs, the continuing demise of the video store, a radio that eliminates, well, YOU, how a curvy body is like a drug, how losing a job can lead to a heart attack, the all-new time limit on the Miranda warning, why some jobs cost more to "create" than others, how Wall Street bet on both sides in Greece's economic troubles, the growth of "work-share" programs, an 80 year old burglar, and why rich parents are hiring occupational therapists for their kids, plus much more, including the "real news" like, yes, the health care debate, the economy, the Olympics, and the continuing saga of Toyota's troubles. In addition, you should read "10 Questions With..." WGAU/Athens, GA and WXKT/Gainesville, GA PD Matt Caesar, who's in charge of both a heritage AM talker in a college town and a new FM talker covering a growing area of North Georgia, and then take a look at the rest of All Access with the industry's leading news coverage, ratings, job listings, forums, and all the resources you need to succeed in the radio business. It's all free. Get the free iPhone and iPod Touch app, too. ========================= Oh, right, one more thing. It's that time of year again, by which I don't mean the start of Spring Training (although that's important, too) or the countdown to the elimination of the Sixers from playoff contention (although that's well underway). No, we're talking about the Revlon Run/Walk for Women 2010, which is set for May 8th in Los Angeles. As you may recall, my wife Fran and I do the walk every year to raise money to fight cancer, a cause that means a lot to us. And as I mentioned last year, I am fully aware that the economy is an issue and that many people are strapped, and that's perfectly okay. Like it was in 2009, this is going to be a low-key, unpressured pitch that will just appear here at the bottom of the column every week until you're willing to send money just to make it go away. But it won't go away, so let's look at it this way: If you can give, great, it'll be appreciated and it's going to a great cause. If you can't, no problem, either. But please give if you can. The link is right here: https://www.revlonrunwalk.com/la/secure/MyWebPage.cfm?pID=533458. And thank you!
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GIVE GIVE GIVE

2010-02-26T02:10:38Z

We're walking again in the Revlon Run/Walk to raise money for the fight against women's cancers, which, as you know, hits close to home. Here's the link: Please donate. And thank you.
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SNOW WAY

2010-02-26T01:51:03Z

With east coasters getting slammed by another snowstorm, or, in some cases, feeling relief that the storm missed them, here's a clip of KYW Philadelphia covering the Blizzard of '83: February 12, 1983. I was there. In fact, I ended up pretty much confined to my apartment on the Main Line after making my way back that day on the Paoli Local. When the snow stopped and a couple of feet of snow blanked everything in sight, I walked to the Wawa in Ardmore, slogging down the middle of Lancaster Avenue, a major thoroughfare; there were no cars, no buses, no nothing. It was eerie. And it was then that I vowed someday to find someplace warm to live, where there's no snow. Found it.
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