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PHRUSTRATING

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 18:03:03 -0800

Just like that, the Phillies manage to once again wipe out the memory of an epic win. They couldn't do anything with John Maine, even though Maine didn't have it tonight. Myers was worse than the numbers will show. Madson just plain sucked tonight. The bats were quiet again. Another frustrating Phillies loss. The consolation is that the Mets are not demonstrably any better. Whoever wins this division will do it by attrition.

And now I have a headache. Letter tomorrow. 'Scuse me.

SO. WHAT?!?

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:31:48 -0800

I am not naive enough to assume that the Phillies' victory in tonight's game is indicative of anything more than the Mets' shaky bullpen. Blanton was awful, Eaton-like... pretty much what I expected, to tell the truth. The bats were silent against Santana, and considering that he only threw 105 pitches, the Phillies got lucky that he didn't try to go the distance. It was the bottom of the order that rallied. I mean...

So Taguchi. So F'ing Taguchi. If that doesn't say a lot about how flukish tonight was, nothing does.

But I'll take it, awful Blanton, no Wagner, Santana pulled for the ninth, every minute of it. Maybe this will portend good things for the rest of...

...no. No, no, no. I can't do that. One day at a time. It's the Phillies. I am a Phillies fan, and the Phillies are guaranteed to break my heart. I can't lose sight of that.

LOSS

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:57:28 -0800

We found out today that someone we know passed away this weekend. Too young. And it was that damn disease again.

Please:

Friends of Linden Animal Shelter, in memory of Deborah Lanning. That would be nice.

And if you want to help get breast cancer cured once and for all, there's Susan G. Komen For the Cure. And there's Revlon/UCLA Breast Center, Dr. Chang's fund. There's the Revlon Run/Walk link on the home page here -- I don't know if the links work, but there should be an address to give. I don't think they'll turn you down.

Thanks.

DECISION '08

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 17:43:02 -0800

I could sit here and write something, or I could go back and take another nap, which I've been doing all day when I haven't been working.

Nap wins. Pardon me.

TOO LAZY TO COME UP WITH A TITLE

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 17:27:54 -0800

A coupla things from the living-room sofa on a lazy Saturday:

1. I take no joy in Schadenfreude. I'm being sincere when I say that I try not to hold grudges. Forgive but don't forget, that's kind of the rule for me, and it's served me well. But sometimes, the temptation is strong.

Take today. See, there's a talk radio host out there who, years ago, I asked to do an interview. I can tell you that I am rarely turned down, and the few who have said no have done it politely, apologetically, and with good reasons offered. The gentleman in question, a reasonable (but not massive) success in a large market, first demanded to see the questions in advance, then sent a terse e-mail saying "I don't think so.". It struck me as assholish behavior, but, hey, whatever.

Friday, he got arrested for assault. (Initially, rumors had it as a domestic assault; later, the news trickled out that it happened at a retail store) I don't know if he's guilty, and I do not take pleasure in either his predicament or any case of violence. But, just for a second, the thought crossed my mind: Yeah, it figures. See? Act like an asshole to me, pay the price.

But, of course, it has nothing to do with me. And, really, I hope for everyone's sake that it's not true or just a misunderstanding. Still, that's one interview I don't mind not getting.

2. After playing around with the new iPhone/iPod Touch software... wow. And that's just regarding the AOL Radio and Pandora programs. I can get streaming audio on my Treo, but the iPhone/iPod Touch streaming is unbelievable- easy to use, shows song titles, artists, and album artwork, and makes satellite radio seem like old technology. I still can't get an iPhone- no AT&T service yet in my neighborhood- but iPod Touch plus dock equals a very cool Internet radio, assuming that everyone follows AOL and CBS in doing this kind of application.

TRUMP AND HIS LONG, THICK, HARD POLE

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:53:54 -0800

I wasn't aware that this was posted, but Patterico had it, and, well, it's not every day that a major TV show does a segment literally up the street from my house, so here's "The Colbert Report" on the Trump Golf Course flagpole dispute:

At least the town looks good. But, no, that isn't my infinity pool.

THIS WEEK'S "THE LETTER": QUIT BORING ME!

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:09:32 -0800

The All Access newsletter returns after a week's hiatus, and I'm irritated. Again:

Tell me why I should listen to your show.

I'm speaking as a listener here. I don't want you to answer me. I want you to ask yourself that question.

Here's why: I listen to a lot of talk radio from around the country. (Turns out it's part of my job. Who knew?) Last week, I was listening to a station I hadn't heard for a while, and there was a local host talking about the election and there was sort of bland imaging about how they were the Election Station and I realized that despite it being a local host and a local station, I could have been listening to any station in Anywhere, USA. I'd landed on Generic Talk Radio.

And thinking about the show afterwards, it occurred to me that I'd heard a lot of that kind of thing lately, shows that are interchangeable with each other, imaging that sounds like every other station. Same music, same voices, same slogans, same-sounding hosts, same topics. It's... boring. It's background noise. And I love talk radio. Imagine how casual listeners must feel.

So listen to yourself. Be as objective as you can be. Ask yourself what it is about your show that makes it unlike the show on that other station, or the show in the next market, or the show anywhere else. Ask yourself why people should come to you for entertainment and/or information instead of another station, or a website, or a cable channel. If you find that you're doing what everyone else is doing, change it up. If you're interviewing the same pundits as other shows, stop interviewing. If you do monologues, cut back on that and take more calls. If you've been all-election-all-the-time, try talking about a local issue -- maybe you can even tie it back into the election. Do something different.

(This is not to say that you can't talk about the election. News-Talk stations will obviously see a bump in most cases from interest in the election. The goal is to keep those folks listening after November. Make it entertaining, interesting, fun and they'll keep coming back for you, not just when there's hot news)

And as for imaging, "Your Election Headquarters" or "East Overshoe's Official Election Station" doesn't cut it in an era when you can go online and get way more election information and opinion than ever. If your imaging doesn't emphasize what makes your station and shows different and better, what's the point? Imaging is marketing, and you have to sell your product amidst increasing competition. If you're in charge of that, ask yourself if your station's slogans, liners, promos, and imaging would get you to listen and keep listening. Then ask yourself if it would get anyone ELSE to listen. Then ask if it would get the people you WANT to listen. This seems elementary -- obvious -- but, well, judging by what I hear, some folks aren't asking the right questions... or honestly answering them.

(Why, no, I will NOT rat out the offenders. I'm not here to embarrass anyone, with the exception of myself)

======================================

It's been a few weeks since I last wrote one of these, so I'm a little rusty -- what comes next? Oh, right, the plug for All Access News-Talk-Sports and the Talk Topics show prep column. After a week off, Talk Topics is back with a vengeance with lots of material for your unique, entertaining show. (That unique, entertaining show is yours, right?) Go there now to find items on such show fodder as why your next flight might have to stop for gas on the way, more "mom's boyfriend" troubles, a robber with underwear on his head, "Rampage" Jackson's rampage, the trouble with flaming Bacardi shots, a creatively evil use of a fire extinguisher (not on the Bacardi shot, unfortunately), a guy who wore a particularly interesting costume to his old high school's graduation, the tragedy of the closing Starbucks, plenty on the IndyMac implosion, the Amazing Neverending All-Star Game, Sarah Jessica Parker's disappearing mole, why people are stealing your trash, why a NASA contractor wants its employees' urine (it's not why you'd think. No, not that, either. You're sick, you know that?), the upcoming nuptials of Courtney Courtney, something about Tootsie Rolls, people taking in boarders to pay the mortgage, why the World's Greatest Dad isn't, the danger of stagflation, a 140 pound tumor, the pending demise of the Spectrum, the ongoing farce of Brett Favre's maybe-return, two DUIs in one car, and why global warming may give you kidney stones, plus much more of that kind of stuff. You also get "10 Questions With..." "MommyTime Radio" host and Nashville radio personality Karla Lawson and the rest of All Access, the fine staff of which has continued to pump out the radio and music industry news and columns and charts and ratings and stuff even while I was off doing wild things last week like sleeping in for an hour later than usual and playing "Guitar Hero III" with my sister. (Result: We rock)

======================================

I said a few things while talking about imaging and marketing your stations and shows that reminded me about something else I want to talk about, but I'm gonna hold that until next week. I've done enough scolding for now. Gotta pace myself, you know.

READ ALL ABOUT WHAT?

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 18:15:35 -0800

In today's What's Left Of The Los Angeles Times, Steve Lopez' column is headlined "Why your 50 cents for The Times is the best bargain in the world."

Okay, I'm game, but I've been wondering why I'm paying for a subscription to the thing. The news is stale by the time I pluck it off the driveway, and the content's all on line for free. If I had to fill a column with that headline, I'd have this:

1. It's easy to read on the toilet.

2. Coupons on Sunday.

And... that's it.

So, what's Lopez' argument? Why is the Incredible Shrinking Times worth fifty cents?

On a recent Saturday night, I toured L.A. with the Rev. Jeff Carr, director of the city's gang reduction and youth development programs, listening as he spoke unwaveringly about his mission to keep kids out of cemeteries and prisons.
On Thursday, I said hello to Vin Scully and watched Tommy Lasorda eat enough food to kill a rhinoceros as he sang the praises of longtime Dodger Stadium chef Dave Pearson.

On Sunday morning, I sat on a porch in Lincoln Heights, talking to a terminally ill woman about the evolving history of the neighborhood, the things she needs to do before she dies and the heartache she feels for the beloved husband she recently took to a home in Rosemead because of his dementia.

On Monday I went to the Bastille Day "Take Back L.A." rally at City Hall, where Dan and Bridget Shycoff of Studio City wondered why they pay more now for fewer services, and why City Controller Laura Chick's exposés of municipal waste and dunderheadedness don't always lead to changes, pink slips and floggings in the public square.

"I ask that same question," Chick said when I introduced her to the Shycoffs.

So it's worth fifty cents because Steve Lopez gets to do what he considers cool and interesting things? We should buy the paper to fund Steve Lopez' Excellent Adventure? He explains:

Every day of the year, hundreds of my colleagues do similar things in Los Angeles, across the country and around the world. They go places, ask questions and hold people accountable. Some of them risk their lives because they believe in the role of a free press in a troubled world and because they believe a photograph or a story is that important to you.
It's all yours for 50 cents -- a small, plain cup of Starbucks coffee costs three times as much -- or for free on the website.

Yeah, well, see, there's the problem: If you really want to read about what Steve and his pals are doing every day, you can get it for free. And that's assuming you care what Steve and his pals are doing. Frankly, I doubt he risked his life and held anyone accountable when he got the Exclusive! story of Dave in the press cafeteria at Dodger Stadium. I know Dave, I've eaten his food many times, his story's interesting, and it was available right here on the Net for free.

...those two quarters still buy you the biggest, best, most ambitious news-gathering operation west of the Hudson River. It's also the most objective, despite competing claims from the chatter-happy fringes that the paper is either too liberal or too conservative.

Someone thinks it's too conservative? Oh, right, Robert Scheer probably still takes the paper. The Times has a serious and ongoing problem of allowing opinion to color the news coverage. I'll leave that beat to Patterico.

But Lopez, while lamenting the firing of a lot of the staff lately, does think that people are coming back every day for the finest in reporting and opinion:

They come back for Plaschke, Simers and Streeter.

Plaschke writes the same column every time -- obvious, and divided neatly into one-sentence paragraphs. See, it's his "style." It's also close to unreadable. Simers is on auto-pilot now, less a must-read than ever; even his very occasional tours of the local clubhouses to get the hotheads to react to him are tired and non-confrontational. Maybe the move of the Grocery Bagger family and the grandkids took some fire out of him. Streeter is the designated everything-in-sports-is-racial columnist, and that act got tired as early as the UCLA Dorrell controversy he created.

For Morrison, Skelton and Banks.

Patt the Hatt is predictable and boring but at least she's intensely local. George Skelton has been writing the same column over and over for years: you need to pay more in taxes, you're undertaxed, the state should take more of your money, why won't you just submit?!? Sandy Banks was a terrible editorial writer and a terrible reporter, and may be one of the worst columnists in any major paper; you're expected to be as fascinated as she is by her family life, and, well, we're not. I'm not sure she cares much, either.

For Turan, Goldstein and Swed.

I don't think I disagree more with a movie critic than I do with Kenny T... well, maybe Earl Dittman. Patrick Goldstein is sometimes interesting, but they've consigned him mostly to a blog and the most interesting thing about him is the occasional shot Nikki Finke takes at him. Swed? The classical music critic? That wouldn't get my fifty cents, but I'm sure there are classical fans who read him.

For Lazarus, Petruno and Neil.

Petruno and Neil? Sure. Lazarus? He and Skelton have a lot in common.

For Blankstein, Winton and Leovy.

Local reporters. Well, yeah, we need local coverage. And I'll give Leovy credit for the Homicide Report, which was a) a great idea, b) well executed, and c) not in the paper -- it was online. So your fifty cents didn't get you that.

For reporters and photographers on the hunt in Washington, Iraq, Afghanistan, Asia and Latin America.

And here's one of the big problems with the Times: For the last several years, 90% of the A section, and most of the front page, is dedicated to news that isn't in Los Angeles or Southern California. This is a paper that consigned local news to the Metro B section, then decided that Metro was too confining, so it made the B section "California." Oh, and it reduced the amout of actual news, local or statewide, to roughly three pages of news hole. I have never seen a paper more ashamed of its home area than the L.A. Times. Remember, this is a paper that thought it was a good idea to carry a regular weekly column breathlessly covering the mundane daily life of Manhattanites. Not Manhattan Beach, Manhattan as in between-the-Hudson-and-East-Rivers Manhattan. They were telling us that Los Angeles, and the South Bay, and the Valley, and the San Gabriel Valley, and Orange County, well, we're just not as important. No South Bay columnist, but they had a New York columnist.

All of this goes back to the premise of Lopez' column, and where he failed. He never quite tells us why we NEED the Times. He never says what in the Times can't be gotten elsewhere. I think there IS an answer to that, but the Times has abandoned what it can do best and embraced the things that aren't worth my fifty cents. Yet I still subscribe, and I still subscribe to the even more shrunken, compromised Dean Singleton Daily BreezeNewsPressTelegramStarNews. Why?

1. It's easy to read on the toilet.

2. Coupons on Sunday.

Maybe that's reason enough.

AUSTIN PATIENCE LIMITS

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:04:25 -0800

The NAB Radio Show isn't until September, but it was time to book the travel today, so I did that, and I checked out the agenda while I was at it.

Oy.

There's a lot of double-dipping going on this year, with folks appearing on multiple panels. I'm not sure why, unless they asked a LOT of people and got turned down. (Nobody asked me to be on any panel, but that just leaves me more free time, so I'm okay with that) I did the once-over through the schedule, and tried to figure out what I'll be covering and what I can safely skip. Skip outnumbered cover.

On the bright side, it IS in Austin, meaning that free time will involve beer and BBQ and music. But I'm not optimistic that there's going to be a lot going on at this thing. If you're going, let me know. Maybe we should hold an alternate "convention," preferably someplace where the beer is cold, the 'cue and burgers are hot, and the music is loud.

ON THE OTHER HAND, IT'S ONE GAME YOU CAN BE SURE ADAM EATON WON'T BE IN

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:02:41 -0800

I didn't watch the Home Run Derby. I was working. But, to be honest with you, it didn't matter. I actually attended a Home Run Derby (in Atlanta several years back), and it was okay, but these days, it's hard to care, especially with the leading NL home run hitter not even involved (Ryan Howard didn't make the All Star squad thanks to a terrible start and all those strikeouts). I didn't even care that one of my team's players was in it (Utley finished dead last) or that Josh Hamilton set a record in the first round (and managed to lose anyway -- great system).

I thought that it was because I don't care about the long ball, but I do -- I AM a Phillies fan, after all, and the home run looms large in the team's offensive plan. It's because I don't care about the All-Star Game. I don't care about a game most of the players don't care about, I don't care that MLB decided in its infinite lack of wisdom to make World Series home field advantage hinge on the game's outcome, I don't care when they're rotating everyone in just because they want everyone to get face time. I wouldn't watch a Little League game when the scrubs get rotated in so they can get a shot at bat -- I WAS a scrub in Little League and I wouldn't have watched ME play. That's how the All-Star Game is conducted. Carlos Marmol not only made the team (late) but will probably play. That's.. wrong.

I prefer to take this the way most players take it -- it's a convenient three-day break from baseball. It's three days of a break from worrying about whether the Phils will manage to hold off the Mets and Marlins. It's three days off from stadings and stats and cursing out MLB.tv for crappy streaming and Silverlight and the inability to keep the window on top of the computer desktop. I'm enjoying the break.

They'll be back soon enough.

"ARE YOU HAVIN' A LAUGH? IS HE HAVIN' A LAUGH?"

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 15:26:38 -0800

OK, so, how was Ricky Gervais last night in Hollywood? Very funny, actually. Un-P.C. humor covering everything from autism to sharks, Nazis, AIDS, and obesity, all in Gervais' basic oblivious David Brent bluster. I laughed a lot. You'll be able to see the basic show on an HBO special taped at his New York shows later this year. Recommended, with the caveat that the easily offended probably will want to stick to the Disney Channel.

We only had one celebrity sighting, although there were probably a lot of celebs there and we had great seats on the aisle in the front section of the orchestra: Vince Vaughn. This kinda sucked, because we'd already seen Vince Vaughn before. And he's Vince Vaughn.

The show was at the Kodak Theatre -- home o' the Oscars! -- which is a very nice venue where I would hate to be in the top balcony, which appears to be above any weather system that might affect those of us on Earth. The show was funny enough, and the venue nice enough, that I didn't even mind the TSA-like security frisk at the door. They were, I think, looking for cameras or contraband food. It's a comedy show, not a flight to JFK. The major problem is that the theater is surrounded by Hollywood and Highland, a shopping-dining-"entertainment" complex aimed squarely at tourists in ill-fitting novelty t-shirts, cargo shorts, and fanny packs, all of which were in abundance. Parking wasn't too difficult -- it took a long trek in traffic to the 5th subterrenean level, but there was plenty of parking -- but maneuvering around the place was a chore because of the mass of humanity. Everybody in L.A. should go to H&H at least once to see what tourists see of our town. It isn't pretty.

We had a very nice dinner at Trastevere before the show, enjoyed the comedy, then battled a sea of sweaty people down to the car, where someone had parked -- I swear -- two inches from my passenger door. It's not like there weren't other available spots, either. But I managed to pull the car out without scraping anything, Fran got in, we circled the lot up to the cashier, and then spent several minutes idling on about the steepest ramp in parking garage history, using the gas pedal to not slam backwards into the car behind us, burning gallons of fuel waiting for the chance to pull out onto Orange and get on the road back home. Aggravating, unpleasant, endless. Next time, limo. It would be worth the price not to have to sit on that ramp ever again.

Why, yes, I do realize that I wrote a lot more on the parking garage aggravation than the actual show. You'll be able to see the show yourself on TV in a few months. You won't see the garage. Consider yourself lucky.

SUFFICIENT FOR SATURDAY

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 14:41:19 -0800

Aybody reading today? No? Good, because I'm busy. Heading up to the Kodak Theatre for the Ricky Gervais show. Then it'll be partying all night as... nah, probably sleep. Then more work. Maybe a review of the show tomorrow. Talk to you later.

END OF (OFF) DAYS

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:17:11 -0800

The week off came pretty much to its conclusion this evening, but I ended up working part of the day, victim to the sad fact that a lot of needy folks in talk radio do not take "I'm on vacation" as an excuse when they want their plugs and other favors. But that's my fault, too. I should stop responding. I should say no.

Can't do that. I'm hopeless. I can't resist the lure of the computer, the cell phone, the (as yet still awaiting an update) iPod Touch. Can't stay away. Can't say no. My own damn fault.

So I'm going to go watch another movie now and try not to think about going back to the 3:45 am wake-up calls. Imagine how much I'd be whining if I didn't like what I do for a living.

WHERE THE INACTION IS

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:12:44 -0800

With the week off rapidly dwindling to a precious few days, I'm sitting on the sofa watching movies. This passes as "trying to relax." I'm way beyond relaxation, I'm afraid. I did sleep a little more than usual today, in stages- a few hours, feed the cat, another hour, a little writing, a run, a shower, another hour of sleep, lunch, writing, errands, writing, dinner, and now this. "In Bruges" is on now, and we have "The Savages" and "Persepolis" on deck. And there's always "Guitar Hero III" as well.

And while Colin Farrell is cursing and grumbling his way through Belgium on TV, I'm going to try and unwind from a less-than-challenging day. I could use more days kinda like this.

HAPPY 9TH OF JULY

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 19:30:48 -0800

Oh, yeah, in my Semi-Leisure Week I almost forgot to post pictures of my Highly Patriotic 4th of July Celebration, this year including a visit to the Palos Verdes Estates Independence Day event at which we heard Stan Lee tell the gathering that he wasn't aware that he was supposed to give a speech.

Here's a dog peeing in front of me:

And some geeks from a Gardena comics store who showed up in costume:

And a celebrity sighting:

Stan Lee? It was too hot; we found some shade several hundred yards across the elementary school field and just listened. For all we knew, it was a Stan Lee impersonator. But McGruff the Crime Dog? Real. As real as it gets.