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November 23, 2003 - November 29, 2003 Archives

November 23, 2003

THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED, BECAUSE NOBODY WOULD WATCH IT

They're having a revolution of sorts in Georgia right now. The president's been forced to resign, the opposition's in power, and... and...

...and you don't care, do you?

No, you don't. And that's a good thing.

This, of course, enrages people outside the United States. They think it's a combination of stupidity and arrogance- stupidity, because Americans, as a rule, couldn't find Georgia (former Soviet republic of Georgia, of course, not the "Georgia On My Mind"-Braves-Coca Cola-Vidalia onions-Southside Steve Rickman Georgia) on a map without consulting an index, and arrogance because we really aren't bothered by that fact. They, of course, know everything about us. They know who the governor of California is, who Matthew Perry is, who Pamela Anderson's seeing, who's running for the Democratic nomination for President. They know more about us than we do.

And this is how it should be.

See, the people in America who need to know about Eduard Shevardnarze DO know about Eduard Shevardnarze. Their names include George W., Colin, Condy, and Rummy. The rest of us have no use for that knowledge. It has no bearing on our lives. Any effect it has on us- military alignment, foreign aid expenditures, effect on terrorism- is remote enough that it wouldn't affect our votes, won't come up at the water cooler, will make us change the channel when it's mentioned on CNN. It doesn't matter to us. We have to worry about other things- paying the mortgage, dealing with the relatives over the holidays, picking the kids up from practice, making it home in time to see the second half of Monday Night Football. We have taxes, traffic, crime, the neighbor's stupid dog that craps on our lawn all the time. We can deal with those things. Many are under our direct control. Former Soviet republics? Ah, no, not on the radar.

And this is how it should be. We have our own lives to lead. We focus on what's important to our lives, and try to fill what little time we have left over with things to help reduce the stress of the day- football, "Everybody Loves Raymond," beer. We don't have time to know about much beyond the biggest stories in foreign affairs. Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel, Saudi Arabia, and... that's about it. Hell, we don't even have much time to know about Canada, and they're right next door (ask any American who the outgoing prime minister of Canada is and see what reaction you'll get). It doesn't mean that we don't like Canada- we do, with the possible exception of Francophone Quebec, which doesn't like us much, either. It's just that, well, whether we know of Jean Chretien or not has no bearing on whether we'll be able to get that deposit into the money market checking account in time so that the Visa payment doesn't bounce, or whether the report we worked on all night will pass muster with Mr. Slate so we can finally get in position for that promotion to Executive Vice President in Charge of Production. Georgia? Uzbekistan? Madagascar? That's what we have George W. and Colin and Condy and Rummy for. Let them handle it.

So we don't know about the rest of the world. It's not that we don't want to, or that we look down upon them. We just don't have the time right now. What? People there know everything about Michael Jackson?

That's their problem.


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November 24, 2003

COMRADES 'N' COEDS

At college, I majored in Political Science. This turned out to be fairly worthless as an academic pursuit and for future employment- a Poli. Sci. degree is like a pyramid scheme, where it's only useful when you can become a teacher and pass the virus on to another crop of willing dupes. It did, however, afford me a glimpse into the way academia works, and, it turned out, it worked like this: they wanted all of us to be Communists. OK, maybe that's too general. SOME professors wanted us to be communists. The rest wanted us to be Democrats. (I did NOT say that it's the same thing. How DARE you.)

I swear this happened: I was at some kind of gathering at a professor's house, and one of my Poli. Sci. professors came up to me and asked- seriously- "where's your 'Marx-Engels Reader'?"

Uh, well, the dog ate it? I sent it to the cleaners? Someone borrowed it? That's it, someone borrowed it, sorry, professor. Truth was, I never owned one. Oh, I'd read the Manifesto and the rest of the writings on which Communism and Socialism were based, but I didn't feel the need to carry it around with me like Mao's Little Red Book. And that's what was expected of me.

I was reminded of all of this today when I read about the University of Texas and its "liberal professor list" controversy. Let's see, how can I make this simple? A conservative student group spearheaded the compilation and posting of a list of professors who espouse politics, mostly leftist, to students and expect those students to conform to that ideology. Let's make this simpler:

    1. Many professors are leftist ideologues.
    2. These professors teach their students that ideology.
    3. The same professors do not tolerate dissent.
    4. A guy and his group pointed this out, by name.

That's it. That's all there was. Naturally, people on campus went berserk over it.

The Washington Post ran a story on this:

    The list, published on the group's Web site, www.yct.org, and distributed on campus, criticizes 10 professors -- nine of them liberals, in (List compiler Austin) Kinghorn's view -- for using their classrooms to promote personal agendas and "indoctrinate" students. Kinghorn insists the list is a tool for students to make informed course choices. Critics call it a blacklist whose goal is to intimidate liberal professors and cramp academic freedom.

You knew this was coming from the moment you heard the basic story. Whenever anyone criticizes a leftist, the cries of McCarthyism ring out. Academic freedom's also a tried-and-true rallying cry. Here's why they're bull: nowhere in the list is it suggested that these professors be fired for their views. All it does is point those views out.

    The list censures Jensen, for instance, for subjecting "the unsuspecting student to a crash course in socialism, white privilege, the 'truth' " and "using class time . . . to 'come out' and analogize gay rights with the civil rights movement."

    In response, Jensen, who said he is bisexual, said the list could have an ominous effect on the faculty: "If professors are constantly worried about being branded liberal, and not just liberal but inappropriately executing their duties, then it's going to make people a little nervous and there's a self-censorship effect."

He's worried about being branded liberal? "Branded" liberal? He IS liberal. What, isn't he proud of that? (And how about that "Jensen, who said he is bisexual" note? Is that supposed to explain and excuse his curricular focus?)

    The list bashes government professor Jennifer Suchland and sociology professor Gretchen Webber for focusing on inequalities in American gender, race and class. Clement Henry, a government professor, is criticized for alleged pro-Palestinian views. Thomas Garza, a professor of Slavic languages, is named for criticizing American foreign policy and the Bush administration. Government professor David Edwards earned a place on the list for his "hatred of conservatism and capitalism." Edmund T. Gordon, a black professor of anthropology, is accused of overemphasizing white oppression of blacks. Economics professor Harry Cleaver is singled out for an anti-free-market, "postmodernist agenda." Penne Restad, a history professor, is accused of embracing a "far left interpretation of American history."

"Bashes"? "Accused of"? "Singled out"? Why doesn't the reporter just come right out and say what she's trying to not-so-subtly communicate here?

    "Regardless of whether they want to or not, they have sent us a message," said Suchland, one of three professors on the list who do not have tenure. "I'm feeling like anything is possible. That at some point, someone can say, 'We think you're anti-American and we think you should shut up' -- that it's not appropriate to talk about these things."

He's upset that someone might say "We think you're anti-American and we think you should shut up." Do they not have the right to say that? Does he not have the right to ignore them? Why is this a necessarily bad thing?

    "This is part of a trend of blacklisting us, of making sure that we know we're under surveillance," said Gordon, the anthropology professor, who teaches a course on African American culture. "I do worry that what this is moving towards is some sort of censoring."

And there it is again- blacklisting, censoring. All I remember is that when you had an ideologue professor, you couldn't disagree with his or her position. You want blacklisting and censorship? There it was, and there it still is.

Here's another story about a professor I had- I was doing very well in a particular class when someone gave me a pass to go see the Pope. I'm not Catholic, I really don't care much either way, but, well, how many times does the Pope get to Philadelphia? So I asked the professor if I could leave early to go down to Center City to see the Pope, and he looked at me with utter disdain, saying "you want... you... uh, fine." But he didn't LOOK fine.

I went from an A to a C in that class at that moment. My final was a well-researched, well-written paper that was very much like the papers he'd given an A. But he was an atheist, and he thought I was a religious Catholic, so I went from Golden Boy to idiot in the flash of a yellow Pope ticket.

I learned a lot from that class, but it wasn't from the curriculum.

So I'm glad someone's standing up to the brainwashing. I wish I had, but I didn't care to fight- I wanted to get through the four years, get my degree, and never look back. And that I did, but I wish I'd have been even more of a pain in the ass to the school than I was. It wouldn't have changed anything, though. And when my alma mater sponsored an anti-war, anti-Jew... er, anti-Israel forum last summer, it didn't surprise me in the least.

I guess they can't count on me for their next fund drive.



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November 25, 2003

LESSON FOR TODAY

I don't know why I suddenly thought of this, but I did, and, now, you have to suffer through it.

This goes back to my earliest days in radio, when I was at a convention and I went to a showcase for a syndicated show I had some interest in acquiring for our stations. After the presentation, I went up to the head of the syndication company to ask a few questions.

I guess I was invisible. The guy looked right past me, did a perfunctory hinicetomeetcha, and stepped away so he could talk to someone from a larger market. I was left shaking hands with air.

I never forgot that.

I'd like to say he's no longer in the business.

I'd like to say he failed.

I'd like to. I'd be lying. He's still in the business. Oh, sure, it's not like he produces anything of which you've heard, or anything that clears major markets, but he's still in business with large corporate partners. I, of course, went on to huge markets where I didn't even for a moment consider taking anything he had to offer, but I'm not even sure he cared about that.

The moral of the story is that by taking the high road, silently slipping away and choosing not to tell the guy off then and there, I accomplished... nothing.

I shoulda hit him.


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ANOTHER LESSON FOR TODAY

Anyone in radio with the last name "St. James" is using a fake name. In fact, anyone using the name "St. James" anywhere is using a pseudonym. Nobody is really called "St. James," not on this planet.

Next: "Stryker"- real or phony?


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THE NEWS, CORRECTED

I was listening to one of the all-news stations here- either KNX or KFWB- and they had a report on the soon-to-be-unveiled Schwarzenegger budget cuts. The reporter said that the proposed cuts would "hurt poor children, the disabled" and some other people I can't recall, maybe the elderly or the infirm or sad-eyed orphans who will go HUNGRY if even ONE DOLLAR is RUTHLESSLY SLASHED from the budget by that BARBARIAN who...

OK, the last part wasn't there, but you get the idea- the reporter represented as fact that the cuts would hurt the poor children, sick children, those who are unable to help themselves. And then he explained that the cuts would affect art therapy classes for the developmentally disabled and a few other programs, which, of course, is very, very bad news because... because...

Wait a minute.

Why is he assuming that the programs to be cut actually WORK?

Why do we need to spend millions of tax dollars to buy fingerpaints and construction paper?

Is there even a tiny possibility that these programs might not be about helping the poor children and the sick children and the developmentally disabled but rather are about full employment for political allies of whoever's in power?

Yes. Yes, there is.

In case you think I'm being overly cynical, let me assure you that you can find this stuff in action almost anywhere in the country, in "bilingual education" programs that end up not teaching the kids in EITHER language, in recreation programs that pay people to do nothing, in school lunch and breakfast programs where the kids don't even bother to eat the food. These programs DO benefit someone, but not the kids they're supposed to help.

But you know this. And you know the way politicians and pundits jump to the conclusion that there's no way out other than raising taxes. And you know that's bull, that even with a large portion of the budget locked in by public vote there are wasteful programs and sweetheart contracts to cut. You know all of this, you do.

So the reporter is telling me that these cuts are sure to hurt the downtrodden, the destitute, the infirm, that the big bad governor is going to RIP the Crayolas (R) right out of their hands and he'll stomp on their oak tag sheets and, oh, the humanity. It's presented as fact.

And then I go to the letters page at Romanesko and the reporters all insist that there's no bias in the news media, except for Fox and the Washington Times.

They can hear themselves, but they're not listening.



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THE INEVITABLE, AGAIN

MSNBC has cancelled "Buchanan and Press."

Now, a question- whose idea was it to put them on in the first place? Why, oh WHY do TV executives think ANYONE wants to watch Pat Buchanan do ANYTHING, or even know who the hell Bill Press IS?

I guess if you're trying to attract an audience composed of anti-Semitic right-wing isolationist nutbars and bland, personality-free policy-wonk liberals, Pat 'n' Bill would work. But I guess that audience isn't big enough to support a TV show.

Thank God.



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November 26, 2003

OFFICIAL'S TIME OUT

Bad week. Bad month. Bad, bad, bad.

Could have been worse? Yes. But bad nonetheless.

Why bad? Just bad. As in not good.

Anything good? Yes, but bad, too.

So? So, it's over. The week's over. Tomorrow's turkey and football, Friday's a sort-of off day, the weekend's coming, then it's a new month and maybe, just maybe, better times.

I said, it's over.

Go. Be gone with you.

(Yes, of course I'll be writing all weekend. Can't help myself.)



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November 27, 2003

IMPEDIMENTS TO WRITING

Turkey.

One big-ass turkey, roasted perfectly. And mashed potatoes- not Potato Buds, but the real thing, buttery and fluffy and just enough lumps to confirm that they didn't come from a box. Sweet potato pie, the slice losing its shape to land on the plate in a lump of orange with the graham cracker crust mixed in somewhere. String bean casserole, of course, the one with the mushroom soup and the crunchy onion things on top, and crescent rolls, hot out of the oven. A little apple pie for dessert, too, a couple of spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream on top.

And now you know why a) I just don't feel a whole lot like writing anything of vast import this evening, and b) I have a lot for which to be thankful this year.

Tomorrow: will leftovers prevent another commentary from seeing the light of day?


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November 28, 2003

REPRESENTED BY AMERICA

    (American Music Club leader Mark) Eitzel's lyrics have traditionally focused on the personal — his struggles with alcoholism, the difficulties and disappointments of navigating a modern-day life. But the music he's written for the record AMC is currently recording, "You Better Watch What You Say," is something of a departure in its focus on politics — a subject Eitzel has typically avoided but was inspired to address as a result of his frustration with the Bush administration.

    "I couldn't help it. I'm sick of this country. It doesn't represent me at all," said Eitzel, who admitted it's been difficult to write about politics because "it has to come from your own experience. You can't suddenly be Rage Against the Machine." (Los Angeles Times, 11/27/03, subscription required)

He's sick of America. It doesn't represent him at all.

Fighting back, rather than capitulating like most other countries, when attacked by terrorists? Doesn't represent HIM.

Trying to establish freedom in previously oppressed countries? Doesn't represent HIM.

Releasing women and gays from the bonds of deep, brutal societal and religious oppression in place for centuries? Doesn't represent HIM.

Establishing free speech and rule by secular rather than religious law? Doesn't represent HIM.

Perpetuating a system in which an overeducated, undertalented musician who has never, ever made music that enough people liked enough to buy can somehow earn enough money to have a comfortable life in which he gets not only to make money as an entertainer despite not having had anything to say since even before the original run of American Music Club broke up but gets to criticize the government and not have his tongue cut out by the ruling dictator? Doesn't represent HIM.

Mark Eitzel is just another example of the Convenient Leftist. The Convenient Leftist is most often found in Hollywood or San Francisco, or on any college campus besides, say, Bob Jones U. or Liberty U. (homes of the Convenient Right Wing Nut). The primary trait of the Convenient Leftist is that in talking about politics, he tells people what will bring him the least trouble from his friends and fans. If Mark Eitzel announced that, hey, America's given millions of people freedom and hope for the future and, well, it's not so bad, he would be unable to show his face to his peers. He'd be relegated to the Toby Keith-Ted Nugent wing of music, the Blowhard Conservative section at Best Buy. If, on the other hand, he issues periodic "Bush is evil" statements (preferably without the need for elaboration), he's safe- sure, Sean Hannity won't like it, but is Sean Hannity likely to own an American Music Club CD?

I've written before about how my friends in show biz are like this. They don't really have fully formed answers as to WHY they hate Bush, or WHY it was wrong to liberate Iraq and Afghanistan. They probably- secretly, of course- got a thrill seeing Bush show up in Baghdad on Thanksgiving. If they thought about their position, they may not suddenly convert to National Review subscribers, but they'd at least be able to enunciate more clearly why they disapprove of the current administration.

But at its laziest, you get statements like "I'm sick of this country. It doesn't represent me at all." You get someone who's too concerned with saying the correct, acceptable thing to think through what his words really mean. He could easily leave the country, but he doesn't have to- the country of which he's sick is one of the few where you can say you're sick of the government and the government doesn't have you arrested. Deep down, he knows that. But he can't SAY that. It wouldn't be convenient.


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November 29, 2003

IDIOT SAVANT WITHOUT THE SAVANT PART

So we're sitting in the theater watching "Bad Santa" (more on that if I get some time to tell you about it), and I notice that after every third line or so, the guy behind me is repeating the dialogue. Whether it's funny or not, every piece of dialogue is echoed by this guy, elbowing his date and guffawing. "She's not moving," someone says on the screen, and, sure enough, the guy says "she's not moving! A HAW HAW HAW haw haw! She's not moving!" "So, whaddya want, kid?" "WHADDYA WANT, KID?! A HAW HAW HAW haw haw!"

It was like this for the entire movie.

Between Echo Boy and some kid whose cell phone rang three times in a minute- you'd think the first one would have tipped him off to turning the thing off- the afternoon was a reminder that whole generations have grown up with home video, with MST3King movies from the comfort of their couch, with multitasking and carrying on conversations in front of the screen. It's a short step to transferrign this behavior to the movie theater, and there's nobody to tell them to shut up.

I guess the task's fallen to me.

Shut the hell up.

And turn the damn cell phone off, too.

I don't want to have to tell you again.


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About November 2003

This page contains all entries posted to PMSimon.com in November 2003. They are listed from oldest to newest.

November 16, 2003 - November 22, 2003 is the previous archive.

November 30, 2003 - December 6, 2003 is the next archive.

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