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The kids came by in a run of about 45 minutes, from 6 to about 6:45 pm this evening. Then they stopped. It's been more or less quiet since, the loud rush of wind through the palm trees competing with the sound of the wind chimes on the house next door. Some years, there's another bunch of trick-or-treaters at about 9 pm, but usually, when the flow stops, it stays stopped. I don't know about tonight-, but I hope the doorbell stops ringing. For about an hour there, I was reclining on the couch doing crossword puzzles while Fran occasionally answered the door and gave the kids their candy. Bliss. There may be a lot of M&Ms left over. That's fine with me.

We saw "Ray" the other night, and I promised a review. Okay, here: disappointment. There was nothing disappointing in Jamie Foxx' performance, whioch is everything you've heard it is and more- not merely an impression, he really has you buying him as Ray Charles, 100%. He's fine, and worth the discounted price of admission- hell, the FULL price, if we'd been sans coupon.

But then there's the rest of the movie. There's the weak writing with every possible device to get the audience murmuring, like when the eager underage kid with the horn outside the Seattle nightclub when Ray arrives fresh off the bus turns out to be... "Hey, kid, what's your name?" "Quincy. Quincy Jones." And you expect him to wink at the camera, in case you didn't make the connection. THere's a lot of that- "my name is Ahmet Ertegun, from Atlantic Records," says the weirdly shaved-bald guy at the door (hey, it's Booger! Booger from "Revenge of the Nerds" with the top of his head shaved!), "this is my new partner, Jerry, Jerry Wexler" (hey, it's the guy from "The West Wing" with a shave and the WORLD'S WORST HAIRPIECE). And there are the Floating Phony Headlines, the ones that serve to move the story along when director Taylor Hackford can't figure out how else to do it (stuff like "Ray Charles is Rocketing To the Top of the Charts!" that would appear nowhere except in the fevered dream of a hack writer), dashing across the screen the way they did in bad 1950's movies.

But I could put up with ALL of that until the Defining Moment, and if you intend to see the movie and don't like stuff like this given away then stop reading right here there's a scene where his dead mother and brother (who drowned while young Ray watched, pre-blindness) appear to him in a heroin-withdrawal dream and his dead brother says "I forgive you"!!! Really, they put that in the movie!!! And Fran heard some yentas in the ladies' room at the Regal Avenue 13 afterwards say how much they were moved by that!!! And a guy walking out behind us said he was weeping throughout the movie!!!

Now, I'm not one to look down on the public for liking what it likes. Even as I think "geez, how can anyone LIKE that?", I understand that, well, it's OK, some people like Red Lobster and more power to 'em. But when this kind of hack, rote, by-the-numbers work gets praised and sells big, Hollywood gets the idea that it doesn't really have to try harder.

And it doesn't.

And we deserve what we get, and are lucky when we get better.

And I'm okay with that, really, I am. Although it's a shame this movie didn't do Ray the justice he deserved- he deserved an epic and he got a TV movie-of-the-week. With Booger. Who sings. Sigh.

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Perhaps you've seen this by now (link courtesy Romanesko:

Because of editing errors on several levels, the Oct. 29 edition of The Daily Iowan contained a front-page story on the UI chapter of College Republicans with an erroneous headline. As Editor in Chief, I take full responsibility for the headline "UI Republicans work hard at preserving their delusions" and want to clarify that the story's writer, DI reporter Nick Petersen, had nothing to do with the error. I offer my sincerest apologies to the UI College Republicans and the entire university community for this misrepresentation.

And there you have this year in a nutshell. You can no longer disagree- but if you do, you're delusional. Someone who isn't voting the way you are isn't just of a different mind, he's a moron.

This was in an article about the overheated passions surrounding this election in the L.A. Times this morning (paid subscription required- urgh):

Kate Schmidt, a personal trainer in Eagle Rock, said she knows those feelings.

"I'm in a 12-step program and have been meeting with this group of women for six years, and I thought we knew each other," said Schmidt. When she learned secondhand that one of the members was voting for Bush, she was stunned at the vehemence of her reaction.

"I'm 50 years old and I've never felt this way about a presidential election," she said. "There's not one single thing about Bush that's good in my opinion, and for people not to see that is confusing to me."

If you don't agree with me, I am confused and lost, for I am certain in my convictions; ergo, you are most certainly wrong and I must smite you.

And that's where I get off the train. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think people who disagree with me are morons, or evil, or liars. Wrong? Sure, but only in relation to my perception of the truth. I recognize that I could be wrong. I don't think so, but it could happen. But I don't look at the other side as evil or in need of a good tongue-lashing. I have my reasons for thinking the way I do, and I respect others for the way they think. That's not always been the reaction I've gotten, but I'm lucky- the people with whom I disagree are reasonable and civil, even if they're totally, irrefutably WRONG, WRONG, WRONG and... er, sorry. Got caught up in it again.

And then I see the childish depths to which the discourse has sunk all around me. I'm not talking about the bloggers' back-and-forth- that, at least, is interesting and with some basis in the search for truth. I'm talking about the Kerry sign bathed in Bush stickers, the line of Bush signs across which someone painted a red X, the campaign signs ripped on people's lawns. That's what I'll take away from this election, and it's embarrassing.

But it's also part of a free system, so I guess I shouldn't let myself get too discouraged. The ability to lose your cool and end up screaming at your political opposite is part of the freedoms we enjoy, the freedoms others in the world may not have, and I suppose you could put that on the list of things to cherish, but all I know is that it raises my blood pressure and I don't like it. So here's to the light at the end of the tunnel, and when we get to daylight in a day or three or thirty, maybe people will be able to put the shouting matches and insults and vandalism behind them. Or maybe they can channel it, although I don't know how many people really WANT to become Raiders fans this season.

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After all the warnings and panic, it took us longer to get our deli order at Ralphs than it did to vote.

We went at about 12:45 and were out of there before 1, easy. It helps that they've divided up this area into bite-sized voting areas, ours being one of two tiny districts tucked atop the cliffs on the edge of the Peninsula. Even a heavy turnout wouldn't cause much in the way of queues. Piece of cake. I took the "I Voted" sticker they make you wear after you finish and stuck it to the ballot stub after I left, as always- I can't explain why I take the sticker and wear it in the first place. Maybe I just don't want to make the elderly folks working the polling place feel uncomfortable. So I wear it out the door, peel it off, stick it on the stub and get out of there. It's not that I'm not proud to have voted, I just don't like wearing buttons or stickers advertising anything. Sticker off, into the car, civic duty done.

Most of the signs in the neighborhood- granted, there aren't many- are for Kerry, but most of the cars at the polling place sported Bush bumper stickers. Whatever. It won't crush me if either guy wins, although I expect the Kerry supporters to gloat like crazy if he wins, as if I'm a surrogate for Bush. (So far today, I've been accused of saying that bin Laden endorsed or at least supported Kerry with his tape and comments, and I didn't even SAY that- I just don't have the time or energy to argue much anyway. Think what you wanna think. It appears to matter more to you than it does to me) I'm just observing now- the only way I matter much is by voting, and, since I live in a "safe state," I didn't even matter that way. I could have- should have- voted for Bucky Katt, or Hank Hill, or the Cosmo-Wanda ticket. But I voted the way I knew I'd piss off the largest number of my friends, because maybe I'm subconsciously trying to drive everyone away. (I'm hopeful they'll forgive me)

Right now, in the late afternoon eastern time, there's a general panic going on among the media over Drudge's leaked early unweighted exit polls, as if they mean a lot. Who's gonna win? Dunno. I'm the wrong guy to ask. (So is Drudge.) We'll know soon enough.

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By the way, nobody asked us for an ID when we voted. They never had. And there was a list of voters tacked outside the door to the polling place. What would prevent someone from picking a name and address off the list and voting?

Worse, I checked that list and noted that a recently-deceased neighbor was still on the voting rolls. Could someone go there, claim to be him, and vote? Who would know?

There HAS to be a better system.

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I swear I just heard Dan Rather say of Kerry that if he doesn't somehow pull off Ohio that his "back's against the wall, his shirt tail's on fire and the bill collector's at the door."

He really said that.

Weeeeeeeeelllllll doggies!

This is a very interesting night.

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Assuming that legal challenges. provisional ballots, and other 2000-like fun doesn't drag things out any further than they need to be, it's over. Good, and that's not just because I like the result, but because I feel safe in saying that nobody wanted or needed any more of this. And at least we have (more of) an idea who won on the same (late) night of the election. I might even get a full night's sleep tonight.

The best moment of the night was Dan Rather stammering as he explained why CBS hasn't yet called Ohio, saying "we'd rather be last than, uh, wrong, fast...." I don't think I need to explain why that's funny.

And now Mary Beth Cahill is saying damn the network calls, Kerry will win Ohio once all the votes are counted. Maybe he can. Hey, it almost worked four years ago. You never know. We could wake up to a different story than we're going to sleep with.

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It's different this time.

It's different because unlike 2000, there won't be as widespread a feeling that something untoward led to the result. This time, the winner won the popular vote, too, there's a recognition that the margin was enough that it'll take some contortions- recounts, a nearly unanimous pro-Kerry provisional vote- to even come close to changing Ohio. What the Kerry campaign is doing here is going to be perceived as stringing things out. It'll play with the fierce core anti-Bush voters, but the less committed will bail.

And this is the way it's going to be from here on out. You lose, you sue. Maybe the Cardinals can sue, too- perhaps there are some runs left uncovered in a box in Busch Stadium.

We've also left behind the concept of concession and victory speeches in hotel ballrooms on Election Night. This might be a positive development. Those speeches are always the same. The concession speeches always go like this:

"A few moments ago, I called (opponent's name)... (pause to let supporters yell out "no!") to congratulate him on his victory. (pause for more shouts, then some lukewarm applause) I told him that I appreciated the way he ran his campaign and I offered him my support in any way he might need me. It was a long, hard-fought campaign, and I'm proud of the way you fought for... (pause for self-congratulatory applause and shouting) Fought for (insert main campaign themes). But... (insert defiant last stand on issues). Thank you!"

I can live without another of those.

But as I wrote elsewhere, no matter who you supported, look out the window. It's morning, the sun's rising, the birds are chirping, and the world's still here. Take the day off if you can, go take a walk in the woods, get yourself an ice cream cone (chocolate chip, maybe with some jimmies), enjoy the day. Beats sitting in front of a computer or the TV tearing your hair out, doesn't it? Yes, it does.

And besides, yesterday also ushered in a very special time of year. It's basketball season. Kinda makes all that election stuff seem insignificant, doesn't it?

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Good, he's not gonna drag this out.

Now, can we get back to Ashlee Simpson and Paris Hilton? You know, the important news?

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"Nuance" was the Democratic word this year. The Democratic National Committee has been into the idea that you can repeat a word over and over and somehow it'll become a buzzword in the campaign. So do the Republicans, but the difference is in the words they use and the deployment.

Example: this year, the Republicans threw the word "flip-flopper" out there and it stuck. The Democrats all talked about "nuance," as in "Bush speaks in black-and-white, but Kerry understands the nuances." "What Kerry meant was more nuanced." And this morning on Al Franken's show, Franken complained that Kerry lost because he "speaks in nuances" while the Evil Bush doesn't.

Nuance. Great word. How many people out there use it often? Anyone? Is it the kind of word you'll hear coming out of the mouth of your average American? Nope.

And it's not like this is a first time from which they'll learn. Remember 2000's word? "Gravitas." Launched by Mario Cuomo, then repeated over and over by every Democrat, as in "Bush just doesn't have the gravitas to be President." Graviwhat? I'm as overeducated as anyone, I know what the word means, but I hadn't heard anyone actually try to USE it in conversation until that election. They seemed to think it was a winner, but I never heard anyone BUT them use the word, and after the election, it went away.

You CAN make a word into a common thing- for example, a few years ago, someone decided "walk-off" would be the word for a last-at-bat game-winning hit, and suddenly announcers and fans were using it as if it were around forever. I do not remember anyone ever saying "Mike Schmidt hit a walk-off three run homer to beat the Pirates" or "hey, look, Reggie just hit a walk-off shot off Vida Blue." But a few years ago, it just kind of appeared in the parlance, and everyone just accepted it. I think even Vin Scully says it now.

But you have to choose the word wisely. It has to be basic, easy-to-understand, descriptive, not foreign-sounding or foreign-pronounced. You aren't going to get people to say "NOO-ahnced" or "GRAHV-ee-tahs" when it's all they can do to get comfortable with "chah-LOO-pah."

The Democrats know that, and they had an alternate word to try to stick on Bush. But "dumb" didn't work, either.

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I love to sing-a
About the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a,
I love to sing-a,
About a sky of blue-a, or a tea for two-a,
Anything-a with a swing-a to an "I love you-a,"
I love to, I love to sing!

(From "I Love to Singa," Warner Bros., 1936, included on the Looney Tunes Golden Collection Volume 2, Warner Bros. Home Video, 2004, which you should buy right now.)

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Winner of today's "I don't understand those people" award is Margaret Carlson, writing on the L.A. Times op-ed page:

To start, President Bush has to quit saying his side is good (God told him so) and the other side is bad. Republicans didn't just demonize John Kerry, they demonized his supporters (the Catholic bishops warned the flock they could go to hell just for voting for him). Republicans love their families and you, well, we don't know about you and your families.

Perhaps if Margaret made it out of the Big Blue Cities, she might have noticed that the invective was coming in flood volume from Democrats. "Bush lied"? "Bush is stupid"? Michael Moore? Rash generalizations about "red staters" and churchgoers? Margaret Carlson missed all of that. Guess you don't notice it when it's part of the landscape.

When I first met conservative Bob Novak at CNN and said I couldn't do a show on Thanksgiving weekend, he was surprised to learn that I would be cooking for 20. In his mind, liberals live on brie and chardonnay and never turn on the oven. We surely don't bake apple pie.

Bob Novak, representaive of all conservatives. That's like saying Gore Vidal is a typical liberal. Or Michael Moore. (By the way, is "cooking for 20" supposed to confer "regular folks" status on someone? I don't have 20 to cook for, just me and Fran cooking for each other- does that make us elitist? Are we less elite if we serve some Fancy Feast to Ella the World's Most Famous Cat, too?)

For Bush, going for those 4 million evangelicals was worth alienating those who were told they were evil for supporting stem cell research and abortion rights and for not seeing Clarence Thomas as the model for the next chief justice.

I can see the bumper stickers now: "Thank God for God" and "Guns, yes; Gays, no."

Challenge to Margaret Carlson: show us who told anyone they were "evil for supporting stem cell research and abortion rights and for not seeing Clarence Thomas as the model for the next chief justice." Did you say that? I didn't. (But then again, I guess I'm one of those wacky horrible Bushies, so the fact that I'm FOR stem cell research and abortion rights and gay marriage must not be true)

The hard part to take is that after a disputed election in 2000, Bush governed as if he were king by divine right. What kind of mandate does he think he has with a 51% win?

How does someone like Margaret Carlson become an Official Political Pundit? I don't know, I never mastered that art, but I do know that the point of getting elected is to govern, to lead. To do things the way you think is right for the country. The "mandate" thing has always been a joke- the guy in the office has a duty to lead, period. Bill Clinton didn't even get 50% of the popular vote- where was Margaret Carlson asking about mandates then? Bottom line- Clinton then, Bush now, either guy gets elected, he has to lead, not consult everyone who disagrees with him to come to a consensus. It doesn't matter what the vote totals are, You don't want leadership that convenes group sessions for every decision. You want someone who makes decisions, period. That's what the job's all about.

In the meantime, I'd like to see a moratorium on people from New York and D.C. and L.A. condescendingly talking about "those" people in the Red States. Maybe Margaret Carlson ought to get out more. Maybe she'd LIKE Wal-Mart and Dairy Queen and people who believe in God. You never know.

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From the "Rock the Vote" website:

Rock the Vote is a non-profit, non-partisan organization....

Someone didn't get the memo. From the L.A. Times this morning (subscription required, unfortunately):

For Hollywood's part, the presidential campaign of 2004 will be remembered as a blockbuster effort that brought together a glittering all-star cast, a robust budget and an amazing soundtrack to produce … a major dud.

Sen. John F. Kerry's bid for the White House rallied A-list movie stars, savvy moguls, brand-name rock heroes and street-smart rappers to its cause. But in the end it came down to the little people — the voters — and they didn't seem particularly star-struck.

"We squandered record amounts of money," said Dan Adler, board member of Rock the Vote, the outreach effort that uses music stars to rally the youth vote. "Smart and good people, not just from Hollywood, jumped in with great ideas and great resources. People went into battleground states. We squandered a unity of purpose. We have nothing to show for it."

They got lots of young voters signed up to vote, and they "have nothing to show for it." Nothing, that is, because the wrong guy won.

Non-partisan, my ass. Does this comment make "Rock the Vote" a campaign contribution by Viacom?

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We were driving down Western Avenue on the way home, listening to oldies on Sirius, when Gary Lewis and the Playboys' "This Diamond Ring" came on:

Who wants to buy this diamond ring?
She took it off her finger now, it doesn't mean a thing
This diamond ring doesn't shine for me anymore
And this diamond ring doesn't mean what it did before
So if you've got someone whose love is true
Let it shine for you

And listening to that, it struck me that this was music that sounded like what rock 'n' roll would have all sounded like had there been no black people on Earth. This was music absolutely devoid of soul. Music to Eat Farina By. What Wonder Bread would sound like. Clorox on wax.

This was a sore point for me when I was a program director of a station that played oldies as well as did talk. I concentrated on the talk, others handled the music and I just made my opinions clear. We had a very tight playlist, but I noticed stuff popping up that, well, you know, it was stuff like Gary Lewis and the Playboys- not even "This Diamond Ring," but "Count Me In," "Everybody Loves a Clown"... we didn't go three deep on too many artists, but Gary Lewis was there with bells on. And we had The Vogues- not "Five O'Clock World," the good one, but "You're the One":

You're the one that I long to kiss
Baby, you're the one that I really miss
You're the one that I'm dreamin' of
Baby, you're the one that I love

You can feel the soul being sucked right out of the room when that one plays. Worst of all was Bobby Vee, with a song that has to be, well, you be the judge:

Come back when you grow up, girl
You're still livin' in a paper-doll world
Livin' ain't easy, lovin's twice as tough
So come back, baby, when you grow up


You look real good like a woman now
Your mind hasn't gotten the message somehow
So if you can't take it 'n' the goin' gets rough
Come back, baby, when you grow up

He's basically saying that he's not interested, but in a way that sucks the soul AND testosterone out of the room. But he's thinking about it, and it's "messin' up" his mind, he sings later. And while we're on THAT subject, remember Benny Mardones and his Official Favorite Song of Every Northeast Philadelphia Secretary with Big Hair, "Into the Night"?

She's just sixteen years old
Leave her alone, they say

Yeah, BECAUSE IT'S STATUTORY RAPE, YOU MORON.

And the Beatles:

Well, she was just 17
You know what I mean

Yes, you were wondering what the age of consent might be.

So we can conclude that oldies radio is a hotbed of perversion. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, Gary Lewis was really white.

Hey, it's Saturday. My brain's in the other room watching "Green Acres" reruns. This is all you get for now.

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