Let's take a spin through the latest headlines and see if there's anything remotely interesting enough to write about, shall we? How about the front page of CNN.com, as of Midnight ET:
Bush to tap Kerik for Homeland Security
Got nothing there. Kerik's OK, I guess. Next.
Pfc. England's lawyers lose crucial ruling
Not Abu Ghraib again. No. Mind is vaporizing, must move on. Next.
Bush 'full-court press' on intelligence bill
You know, I know this is important, sort of, but, no, nothing comes to mind except "hasn't this been going on for a couple of weeks now?" Next.
Lesbian minister convicted of violating church law
Methodists? Not my church. Sorry, doesn't affect me. Selfish? Well, I gotta manage my time and remaining brain cells SOMEhow. Next.
Panel votes against drug for female libido
Apparently, there's a problem with it. That happens. Back to the drawing board, I suppose. Opinion? None. Next.
Police dismiss reports of 'BTK' arrest
I'm only vaguely familiar with the BTK murders- Wichita, old cases, rumors that the culprit may have resurfaced. I'm sure Court TV and A&E are racing to get the specials together. I'm not that into murder cases, though. Depressing. Next.
Report: 44 percent of Americans medicated
Can you blame them? Read the rest of the headlines. Actually, I think EVERYONE is medicated, just not all using prescription drugs. Food is a medication. Drinking is medication. Whatever gets you through the night. The trouble comes when they pump kids full of Ritalin and whatever else they can, just to turn the kids from normal, slightly hyper, slightly ADD-afflicted children into something easier to handle. At some point, partneing turned from what's best for the children to what's most convenient for the parent. But I don't have kids, so for a lot of people, I'm disqualified- can't really know what it's like to blah blah blah. Okay. Next.
SI.com: Report: Company official accuses Marion Jones
I only began to think Marion Jones might be up to something when she denied it. I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, but it was the defiant tone of her denials that made me think something might be up. Not that anything's been proven, mind you, but, well, it would explain a lot. It's all- even the Giambi story- a prelude to the big one. You know they're building up to it. You know who has the big target painted on his back. The story won't really explode nationally until there's proof one way or the other about Barry. All this is worth a week or two of clucking, then people will forget. But that's all out the window if they take down Goliath. Next.
Bob Dylan: 'I'm no prophet'
Can't disagree. From the Greatest Song Ever:
You said you'd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
He's not selling any alibis,
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?
Uh, what?
(Don't get me wrong, it IS a great song. And I DO get what the lyrics are about as a whole. But some of it is meaningful only after the consumption of hallucinogens)
(And I LIKE Dylan, so save the long explanatory e-mails pointing to the deep meaning of "Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues Again," because I don't need to be sold on his legendary status. But, damn, some of the lyrics are goofy)
That's the news at this hour. And that's all I got for tonight. Maybe my bad block will break up tomorrow. It would help if something would happen, you know.
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