Postings work best when there's passion. I still don't have it, not even on the Schiavo case- I kinda wrote all I was gonna write on it over at All Access, and there's not much more to say from here. Both sides have strong points, I still don't like the idea that Congress can inject itself into this, but, I dunno, maybe it's the rain, but all I want to do is go watch some non-Schiavo-related TV and let my brain rest. Is this a serial cop-out? Kinda, but if there's one topic dominating and I can't really dredge up a foaming-jaws reaction to it, that'll do no good for anybody.
So let's just fill space with the weekly All Access News-Talk-Sports "The Letter" newsletter, and remind you that you, too, can receive it first every Tuesday (if I don't forget) by registering at All Access, choosing to accept ad e-mails, and making sure "Talk," "News," "Sports," or any combination thereof is checked off. Here was today's, and keep in mind that it's meant as an ad, sort of, for the content at the site:
Hey, (Your Name Here)!:
It's time for another episode of America's new hit reality series "Unsolicited Radio Consultant," the show in which I give you advice on doing your job... without even being asked! Let's begin, shall we?
First, here's something every host should know: if you aren't sure how to pronounce something, DON'T SAY IT. The other day, I was listening to a host on a local sports station talk about the NCAAs, and he was excited about a game that would be taking place in "Warchester, Massachusetts."
"Warchester"?
Worcester. WUSS-ter. Or, if you're a local, WUSS-tuh.
If you can't pronounce Worcester, you shouldn't be on the radio. You should get the hook. The Hook (TM) is my latest invention, although it's merely borrowed from vaudeville. You get on the air and say "Warchester," and a huge hook springs out from nowhere and yanks you out of your chair, through the door, and out of the building. There is no excuse for "Warchester." And I've heard countless announcers new to town mispronounce names in virtually every market- Philly's one of the worst for that, considering "Schuylkill" and "Colmar" and "Vai Sikahema," but the problem's everywhere. (Hint: Bostonians do not pronounce "Peabody" the way Sherman on "The Bullwinkle Show" did) Before you crack the mic, get the pronunciations right.
And then there's the problem of the host who won't take sides. I heard someone in another market approach the Terri Schiavo case by saying how some people are in favor of what the government did and some are against it and it was very polite and reserved and then he said the Worst Four Words a Talk Host Can Say:
"What do YOU think?"
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
That was talk radio in 1962... no, actually, even then, it was lame. You're a host. People are tuning in to hear what YOU think. They want to react to YOUR opinion. They want to tell you you're full of it, or you're a genius ("Megadittos!"). "What do YOU think?" Way to avoid confrontation, dude. There's a job hosting "Tradio" on a daytimer somewhere for you.
(I apologize. Tradio's more interesting than "What do YOU think?" And I will admit here to having an inexplicable fondness for radio swap shop shows- I sometimes listen to the one on a Ventura County station on the weekends, and I spent a nice long Saturday morning running on the beach in St, Petersburg listening to people offer spare John Deere tractors and rusted bicycles for sale on an AM station from deep in the Florida swamps not too long ago. THAT, folks, is REAL radio, something satellite won't be duplicating anytime soon)
Now, take those little pieces of advice and do what you wish with them. Hey, they're free. And so is all the show prep and talk radio news and stuff you'll find at All Access News-Talk-Sports' celebrated Talk Topics column, where there's plenty on the big stories like, of course, the ongoing Terri Schiavo case and Jacko and steroids and the school shooting and other hot news, but where you'll also find stories on NASA's quest to make, er, bodily fluids drinkable, how peanut butter became Public Enemy Number One in schools, a really, really expensive running shoe, TV sets that kill, the real March Madness of basketball powerhouses' graduation rates, the high cost of being technologically trendy, the trouble with CEO blogs, a truculent mall Easter bunny, and gum that results in very special bubbles, plus visits by Barry Diller, Camilla Parker-Bowles, David Spade's nose, the "Rubella Umbrella" (and the "Pica Balloon"), Boog Powell, and Soupy Sales (featuring the semi-hit song "Pachalafaka"). And it's all there for you, carefully hand-selected and developed by someone who's actually done big-time major market talk and morning radio (that would be me).
You also won't want to miss the musings of a prodigal radio host in "10 Questions With..." WGST/Atlanta "Regular Guys" co-host Larry Wachs (back on the air this week after a year of exile), and there's the Talent Toolkit with sites for Spring, as well as the rest of All Access with news, message boards, music, columns, and other stuff I'm sure you'll enjoy. Go look at it.
Meanwhile, before I go, how's March Madness treating you? Oh, really? Well, what did I tell you? You can't win. You're already out of the running, because none of you- none, not even graduates of those schools, thought Wisconsin-Milwaukee would still be in it or that Vermont would beat Syracuse or that Bucknell would win a game, and the receptionist- she's a lock to win your pool, you know- picked Bucknell in round one because it sounds like Bucky and that's the cat in "Get Fuzzy," which she reads every day. Next time, listen to me and save your money. And don't say you never learn much from this thing.
Perry Michael Simon
Editor
All Access News-Talk-Sports
Share
