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"Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" bombed.

"Deuce Bigalow" bombed!
"Deuce Bigalow" bombed!
"Deuce Bigalow" bombed!
"Deuce Bigalow" bombed!
"Deuce Bigalow" bombed!
"Deuce Bigalow" bombed!

There is some justice in this world.

Now, maybe someone can do something about Ashton Kutcher.

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I have little time tonight, but I did want to mention the most important news of the day.

That, of course, would be the shocking developments on "Rock Star: INXS." I am speaking, of course, of "Stop Go."

You don't know about "Stop Go"?

You are lucky. It might be the most cringe-inducing song ever, written in haste as part of a competition on the reality show. Here's the official web site's description:

The next day, the two teams perform their songs for Dave and Andrew. "Stop Go," Ty's team's effort, turns the song into bubblegum soul, with a call-and-response chorus, which Dave describes as having an "Electric Company feel." J.D. also wasn't bowled over -- he calls it a song you'd write for your parents at band camp. It's also not what Andrew expected, although he tells the Rockers that he was impressed by their harmonies; he gets the feeling they enjoyed working together.

This does not adequately describe the horror of this song. Better still, the visuals- the contestants grinning broadly, singing inane lyrics as energetically as they could muster, the lead idiot smirking in self-satisfaction when the song ended and he was sure, CERTAIN that the band would LOVE it- enhanced the sheer embarrassment of the situation.

Television does not get much more entertaining. Worst. Show. Ever. And the best, all at once. Can't beat that.

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Headache. Allergies.

Must. Take. Something.

Tired. Head hurts. Becoming incoherent.

Urrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh.

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Lileks gets it right again, this time nailing the Cindy Sheehan situation. It's in his Newhouse column, which is here. Read it.

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Yesterday, my allergies were just hammering me. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't keep my eyes open, I was suffering. The only stuff that works when I'm in that much pain is Benadryl Allergy and Sinus Headache formula, or generic knockoffs thereof. I take a couple and within an hour, the pain subsides. (Within two hours, I'm almost unconscious, but that's better than the pain)

Under laws like the one passed in Oregon, I'd have to get a prescription every time I got a sinus headache, which in bad allergy seasons like this one might happen every other day:

"I am well aware, as the Legislature was, that this is inconvenient for some of our citizens," (Governor Ted) Kulongoski said at a signing ceremony in Portland. "But we all have a role to play in stopping this meth epidemic. For some, that means providing temporary care for children removed from a (meth) home, for others that means finding another cold and flu remedy."

I have tried other cold and flu remedies. I have tried Claritin, Zyrtec, countless others. Only one works on me, and it contains pseudoephedrine. If I have to get a prescription every time I get headaches, I'll be bothering my doctor every day. I don't live in Oregon, but I have little doubt this will spread, possibly to the federal level.

And it's pointless:

Oregon has increasingly sought to tighten access to pseudoephedrine in an attempt to shut down the jerry-rigged meth labs found throughout the state. While most of the state's meth comes from superlabs in Mexico, police say the local meth labs contaminate neighborhoods and endanger the children of addicts who turn to cooking meth. The illicit drug cannot be made without pseudoephedrine or its chemical sibling, ephedrine.

Most of the meth comes from Mexico? They're going to inconvenience law-abiding citizens and it won't even affect most of the meth supply? What the hell are they doing?

Playing politics, of course.

And they wonder why people hate politicians.

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Cardinal rule of blogging: if you don't have anything important to say, post some blurry camera phone pictures.

They're shooting "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" and the third "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie simultaneously, and they're shooting scenes down the street from me. There are four enormous cranes with two wire spheres dangling between them:

There's also a huge blue screen and something I can't really figure out, looking like a rock wall facing the ocean (we can see only the grid on the back side from the road- that's what you can see to the right)

And a longer shot to show the proximity to the Pacific- careful, Johnny, it's a long way down to the water...

We'll see what these things are all about in due course, next year and/or the year after that. No, I don't know if any of the actors are around here. Haven't seen Keira Knightley at Starbucks or Orlando Bloom at the sushi place. Not that I'd know Orlando Bloom if I stepped on him. Mackenzie Crook, yeah, but Orlando Bloom, no. Somehow, I think I'll be OK if I never spot any of them....

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In today's edition of "What the Hell is Wrong With You People?," we investigate the sordid world of Guys Who Insist On Standing In Front of the Mirrored Walls Staring at Themselves When They Use Free Weights, Thus Standing in Such a Way That it Prevents People Who Actually Just Want to Work Out (Like Me) From Using the Cable Pull Machine or the Only Bench in the Room.

You want to look at yourself in the mirror, go to the locker room and stare all you want. The weight room? Get the hell out of my way.

In the next edition of "What the Hell is Wrong With You People?," it's a special edition of "Stop Looking at Me When I'm Lifting Weights- You're Creeping Me Out!"

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A small plane towing a Rubio's banner over the beaches crashed off our peninsula today. The pilot- you can see him in the second picture- was able to walk away from the wreckage on the rocks, although he apparently wasn't all that happy- the reporter described him as holding his head in his hands.

Just one thought: is it too much to ask a local TV news department to GET THE NAME OF OUR AREA RIGHT?

It is NOT "Palos Verde." It is "Palos Verdes."

And to the reporter: you were in "Palos Verdes Estates." It's a town. Apparently, you were not certain of that. You can ask someone where you are if you don't know, or consult your Thomas Guide. It's not difficult.

You'd think heads would roll if a reporter and chyron operator both screwed up the name of the place in which a story was taking place. I'll bet nobody at channel 2 even noticed the problem.

And they think bloggers are careless and unedited.

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