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We arrived in Las Vegas this afternoon, in fairly incident-free fashion- no real traffic jams, despite periods of misty, annoying rain and the usual erratic driving up the 15 all the way to Flamingo. We checked in, got the good wing upgrade, unpacked, then did what everyone does in Vegas.

That would be the buffet.

We went to the Mirage's buffet this time, because we'd never tried it and it looked kinda interesting, a modern, trendy-looking room. I'm sitting here right now, typing on my cell phone because I hit the wall hard after sushi, barbecued tri-tip, pizza, gelato, and other items I choose not to remember at the moment. I broke my own rule- you gotta pace yourself. I didn't. Blame the tri-tip.

So far, the place is crawling with engineers. I see them everywhere with their tell-tale wardrobe: polyester gimme shirt, khakis or jeans, convention badge, convention tote bag. The brokers and power elite are over at the Bellagio. My hotel is for the equipment-manufacturer elite. The engineers end up at the Rio or the Aladdin if someone else is paying, or the Sahara or Trop if they're paying for it themselves. Or Circus Circus.

But my NAB2007 experience starts tomorrow. I don't really start feeling uncomfortable and hateful until the show starts in earnest. Tonight is for just feeling happy to get away, happy to be in Vegas and eating unlimited amounts and sitting here at the Mirage buffet next to a newlywed couple still in wedding gown and tux and enjoying the act of digestion.

The "fun" begins tomorrow.

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Why I don't have time for a full dissection of today's NAB2007 goings-on: the convention's Internet access was down.

Yes, a convention for the communication industry lost its Internet access. I'm not kidding. I spent two hours in the press room with an Ethernet cable in my laptop, forlornly trying time after time to get any kind of connection. No dice. No work, either. So here I am just finishing up work in the late evening. No parties, no fun, just work in a hotel room all evening because I couldn't write my column all day.

Why, yes, I AM annoyed. How could you tell?

I'll tell you more if I can get more Net time tomorrow. Otherwise, it might have to wait until I get back to California. Right now, I'm going to take a shot at a few hours of sleep. That would be a novelty.

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The theme of the NAB2007 convention this year is different from last year. Two years ago, the theme was "We Don't Know What's About To Hit Us." Last year, the prevailing theme was "We Know What's About To Hit Us, But We Don't Know What To Do About It." This year, it's "Here's What We're Going To Do About It: We're Going To Change The Words We Use To Describe EVerything." No, really, NAB President and CEO David K. Rehr proclaimed Monday that the problem, as he sees it, is that the "other side" has painted radio and broadcast TV as old and out of it and itself as hot, hip, and young, so he wants to come up with better marketing. He likes how IBOC digital radio became "HD Radio," because HD Radio's become so popular with all the kids- why, every kid is walking around with an HD Radio, right? (Ask 10 people on the street what HD Radio is and see how close they come)

This year, it feels, is a holding pattern. The TV people seem to be waiting for all hell to break loose when the digital transition hits in 2009. The radio people seem to be waiting for the saellite merger ruling and the ownership rules and who knows what else. The Web and user-generated-content people are waiting for the money to trickle down to them. And everybody's waiting to see if Eric Schmidt can pull off his plan to dominate the world, at least where advertising is concerned.

The NAB (and the companion RTNDA convention) was full of guys telling you how to move your radio or TV station into the new interactive special age. There were entire sections of the convention devoted to podcasts, streaming, and Web sites, which is a good thing, except nobody seemed to have an answer for how to make money with any of it. That isn't the public's problem- they'll enjoy the bounty of more content, even if some of it is just video of guys getting hit in the balls. But as a content provider, I wanted to hear how to get someone to pay me to write, or draw, or shoot video, or do my own stream. The answer: maybe in ten years. Until then, you're on your own.

Seriously, there were good, provocative sessions, like the one moderated by CHRIS MATTHEWS!!!! (actually restraining his shouting for once) with Jeff Jarvis, Joe Trippi, and Hugh Hewitt, among others, discussing how this election season may see more YouTubery and Facebookery and a lot less spending on broadcast media. And I never get tired of the dissection of the Portable People Meter numbers, even though I'd seen Gary Marince's presentation already; this time, he, Holland Cooke, and Steve Butler delved deeper into the Philly tests and came up with some interesting results.

But mostly, it was frustration- frustration that nobody is really coming up with the monetizing solution, frustration that the convention's web access was down for much of Monday, frustration that there were so many besuited, repressed guys- Imus' audience!- wandering around, frustrated that I lost my prescription reading glasses, frustrated that I couldn't cover three events at once. Frazzled, exhausted, upset- I did it all.

And I get to go home tomorrow. There's more, but I need to digest it first. Maybe I'll remember some of it tomorrow.

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Well, yes, I was in a bad mood all week.

And then CNN's Jerry DeMink mentioned that there was a little gathering going oon at the Hard Rock.

And Lyle Lovett would be playing.

And we went over there, and, indeed, there he was. He did "I've Been To Memphis." He did "That's No Lady, That's My Wife." He did "If I Had a Boat" and "Church" and "That's Right (You're Not From Texas)" and lots more.

And a very good time was had by all, including me. (Thanks, Jerry)

Look- Lyle!:

Nothing much more for tonight- I just got back from Vegas, and, boy, can I not do the "arms tired" joke because we drove (through really high winds and the occasional sand storm). Good to be home.

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This week's All Access newsletter spans the globe to bring you the constant variety of radio:

This week, I'll answer the ten questions on everybody's mind. Let's begin, shall we?

Perry Michael Simon
Editor
All Access News-Talk-Sports
psimon@allaccess.com

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Remember when restaurants could market themselves by trumpeting their appeal to obese celebrities?

In 1968, they could:

Mmmmm. I can feel my arteries clogging already. And two buck steak- you KNOW it's prime.

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From 1969:

Aloha, dude.

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