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For years, the baseball card traders would tell you that the most valuable of cards, short of Honus Wagner, is the rookie card for a superstar. I can tell you, having several of those and having made some attempts to sell some, that this is not true in practical application, since the hobby long ago moved from collecting superstars of the past (Mickey Mantle notwithstanding) to buying futures, snapping up loads of the next superstar's early cards, which, of course, means a) there will be no shortage of those cards, depressing their value, and b) by the time they "mature," the collectors will be off chasing the next big thing and you'll be stuck with a box full of cards nobody wants.

But, again, the romantic notion is of your superstar rookie cards. The reality was more like this:

This one got both guy's names a little off. Chuck Brinkman played parts of six seasons in the majors with little effect; his athletic peak was in college at Ohio State, where he ended up in the school's Hall of Fame. His brother Ed was a much more successful major leaguer, a great-field-no-hit shortstop. Meanwhile, Richie Moloney pitched one game for the Sox in 1970 and that was it- one inning pitched, two hits, no runs, one strikeout, that's it. The end.

Now, it's hard to recall just how dire the early 70's Yankees were, but this might help:

Al Closter? Roger Hambright? Rusty Torres ended up with a nine-season career; couldn't hit, but holds an amazing distinction of being present at three- THREE_ forfeits: he was with the Yankees at the last Washington Senators game, which ended when the angry fans stormed the field and forced a forfeit in the ninth, he was with the Indians at 10 Cent Beer Night, and he was with the White Sox starting in right field on Disco Demolition Night. He now heads up a program to prepare athletes for life after sports and teaches baseball to little kids. Closter and Hambright did very little in the majors. Those were the Yankees I remember, the Yankees of Celerino Sanchez, the Yankees who lost a lot and whose fans remained arrogant throughout, reminding everyone that, well, they won more World Series than anyone else and they had BABE RUTH, so there. Why, yes, I still hate the Yankees- why do you ask?

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In the immortal words of Dante Hicks, I'm not even supposed to be here today.

Please direct all business calls and mail to our Rowland office.

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One of the best things about the old Topps baseball cards were the cartoons on the back. Usually, they were of the "Bob threw three shutouts in 1963" illustrated with a cartoon of a generic pitcher throwing three "O"s. But then there were the weird ones, like this:

Journeyman pitcher George Culver liked to wear "mod" clothes? THIS guy?

Given his many years as a minor league pitching coach and manager in the Phillies and Dodgers systems, I'm guessing he doesn't dress in Qiana and bell bottoms anymore. There's a little article about what George has been doing more recently here.

Another interesting thing you won't see or hear anymore is what players are up to in the off season. Tom Hilgendorf worked construction:

And Cal Koonce was a stockbroker:

The Phillies announcers used to make a big deal about how Richie Hebner used to dig graves in the offseason, too. It wasn't until even the scrubs were making six figures a season and the off-season became a conditioning thing rather than time to make some real money. Baseball was, for the non-stars, something you did for the glory and fun, and teaching or construction work were what you did to support your family. In an era where even, say, Yoel Hernandez probably makes more in a season than most of the rest of us, that's, um, quaint.

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What're YOU lookin' at?

I SAID, what're you lookin' at?

I'm tellin' you one more time...

Are you havin' a larf?

Hey, Ton'- we got a joker here, a real comedian!

Um, no, no, I wasn't laughing at you, sir. Please don't hurt me.

Well, all right. Just... watch it.

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Best baseball player born on my birthday, July 5? Easy. This guy:

Gossage was lights-out before they started using the term.

But this guy, also born on July 5, hits a little closer to home:

Gary "Sarge" Matthews, the worst TV baseball color analyst right now, bar none. It IS his first season, so we could and maybe should give him a break, but all he does- ALL he does- is restate the obvious. "That was a hard-hit ball, Harry." "That ball was in the dirt." Nails on a blackboard, he is.

And we share a birthday. How... fitting.

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With apologies to Paul Lukas, upon whose domain this will infringe:

This never looked good.

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It's a busy weekend. All I have time for today is proof that my losing tradition goes back almost as far as the Phillies'. Okay, not THAT far. Just 1971:

All you need is a dollar, a dream, and the understanding that you will be one dollar poorer when the dream is crushed to bits.

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