A Day at the Fair
Every year, the Chamber of Commerce of our peninsula holds a Street Fair. Every year, or, more precisely, every other year, we stop by, just to see if there's anything worth seeing. There never is. Most street fairs are like that- every year, a long line of booths selling the kind of stuff you'll eventually be too embarrassed to put in a garage sale, plus rides for the kiddies, local "talent" on stage, and food served from booths and wagons unfamiliar to the local health department and constructed to be whisked away one step ahead of said health department. We go anyway. We went today.
Most of the fair is about as sad as this- a very, very bad cartoonist doing caricatures that look nothing like the subject, with a clutch of bored-looking kids surrounding him. (You can't see how bad his drawings are in this picture, and I didn't want to embarrass him (or myself) by getting too close) Sad booths with carny/gypsy-looking types selling clothing of dubious origin and jewelry of dubious value and sunglasses the boxes urge you to "COMPARE TO OAKLEY" or "COMPARE TO RAY-BAN." Okay, I've compared and the Oakleys and Ray-Bans are better- now what? Fran bought some scrunchies for her hair (including a Phillies scrunchie- that ought to go over well at Edison Field Tuesday night) and there was one interesting booth that displayed pictures of our area from 1931 and 1937, when the peninsula was mostly undeveloped and bare and our neighborhood, according to the 1937 zoning map of Los Angeles County, was zoned for, er, nothing. But that booth was the exception- the rest were the same scary people and goods as in past years.
And then there was this: in an adjacent lot, they'd set up a brace of carnival rides. This one's called "Jumpin' Star," and it involves taking six children and sending them uuuupppp the yellow thing and dowwwwnnnn real fast and uuuuupppp again and dowwwwnnnn again and all I could think about is what the insurance riders must be like on these things, because, I mean, you're taking SIX CHILDREN and VIOLENTLY JERKING THEM UP AND DOWN A TALL STRUCTURE. Lawsuit in the making? No more, I'd say, than this:
That's a rollercoaster back there. It's hard to see it in this shot, but the thing, loaded with kids, goes fast, faster than I'd like something as impermanent and weathered as this carny ride to go. Whiplash? Why, yes, please, make it a double. And while you're at it, I'll take this:
The only reason there doesn't need to be a lawyer and an orthopedic specialist on call for this one is that, like with all bumper car rides, this one generally ended up with all of the cars crammed into a corner, gridlocked like La Cienega and 3rd at 5:15 pm on a Friday. Nobody's moving, so nobody can get hurt, right? At least, that's the theory. It's a better theory than...
...letting kids climb an inflatable that looks like it's about to collapse or tip over, then having them slide down. Ostensibly, they'll hit the inflated part and bounce harmlessly, but it looked to me that they could just as easily bounce right onto the pavement. See that "Exit" ramp? Right into the concrete.
Of course, there were animals. Pony ride? Check. Elephant? Check. Petting zoo? Check. Getting thrown from My Friend Flicka? Salmonella and e-coli from a petted sheep? Any number of mishaps on Dumbo? Would you take that chance? (Couldn't get a clear shot for an elephant picture and didn't want to wait around to get one- sorry)
So what have we learned? We've seen how street fairs can be hotbeds of consumer fraud and havens for personal injury lawyers. We've also learned not to go back, although you know we'll ignore that lesson. Look, this isn't really all that exciting of a place. This is the biggest happening we have, bigger even than the week Eddie "The Big Ragu" Mekka, Greg "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman's husband" Mullavey, and Richard "Larry from 'Three's Company'" Kline teamed up to perform the play "Art" at the Norris Theater. If we don't go to the Street Fair, what WILL we be able to go to? And besides...
...there's always jerky.
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