Ray Rayner died Wednesday. I didn't grow up watching him on TV. I only ever saw him in clips, on one of those Chicago TV retrospectives. If you didn't grow up in the 60's or 70's within reach of WGN-TV, you probably have no idea who he was. Actually, I thought his schtick was kinda lame, myself- really little-kid-oriented humor, with puppets, no less. But if you grew up in Chicago, you knew who he was, knew who Cuddly Dudley and Chelveston were, watched Ray Rayner and Garfield Goose and maybe Gigglesnort Hotel if you got the exotic UHF dial.
That's how it used to be, back when different cities had their own personalities. Oh, some still do, for sure, but the media are beating those differences out of them. TV in Chicago's now little different from TV in San Francisco, or Houston, or Boston or Buffalo or San Diego or anywhere else. There's no room for local stuff anymore- the networks rule most of the day, syndication most of the rest, and local news is pretty much the same everywhere, same blow-dried multi-ethnic airhead anchors, same sweeps-weeks "investigative reports," same sets, same logos.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. There's no reason, for example, someone in, say, Tulsa should suffer with a bad late-night show if they can get Letterman or Leno or Kimmel or Conan. You wouldn't want a local "ER" or "Friends"- the original's what you want. Fine, that's great, but what used to add a local touch to the day, the kiddie shows and the movie hosts and the local chat shows... gone, mostly gone, done in by economics and, in the kiddie shows' case, law. And that's why CBS2 in Los Angeles is just like CBS2 in New York or CBS2 in Chicago or CBS3 in Philadelphia, devoid of local flavor, just slick and networky all day long.
I think we've lost something there. When I was a kid (here we go again), you could watch the local kiddie shows and hear the host mention YOUR town and YOUR school and maybe YOUR name- maybe you'd WIN something!- and he'd make jokes about the mayor or the local team and everyone you knew would be watching and you'd all want to get tickets to be ON the show and maybe win at the Snake Cans game or take home a Ladmo Bag or whatever the local show did in your town.
Back then, New York had a lot of local shows- Sandy Becker was the best, Warner Bros. cartoons and truly demented solo sketches in which he played dork Norton Nork or crazed, pith-helmeted Hambone, then he'd be there in his "real" suit-and-tie and make sardonic jokes about the station and crew that weren't for kids to understand (but we did). Chuck McCann was always doing Laurel and Hardy schtick (he was a great Hardy) and Little Orphan Annie, in a ridiculous costume with the white eyes. Soupy Sales had his puppets at the door and the Philo Kvetch and his dog Oregano sketches that sprinkled Borscht Belt Yiddishisms throughout the mayhem. Carol Corbett hosted the Gumby show on channel 11, and she was OK, as was Officer Joe Bolton with the Stooges shorts (and sometimes a rapidly aging Moe would show up!), but Captain Jack McCarthy, the Popeye host, was a little creepy to me, and I was not pleased when he was chosen to host coverage of my home town's parade for their Little League World Champions. Philly had people like Wee Willie Webber (he wasn't wee) and Captain Philadelphia (who I see at Dodger Stadium these days in the guise of his alter ego, mild-mannered sportscaster Stu Nahan) and the ultra-genial Captain Noah and the disturbingly twee Gene London, who, to my dismay, came in best at our house (we got Channel 10 much better in early morning or late at night). You had your own- Rex Trailer, perhaps, or Skipper Chuck or Sheriff John or Wallace and Ladmo or any number of other legends.
These guys- they were mostly guys, with the odd Pixanne or Hobo Kelly thrown in for variety- were in your town, made appearances at your shopping centers and state fairs, cracked jokes about things you recognized. Maybe you even knew someone who knew someone who knew one of them, saw him shopping at Gimbels or something. But they were there, and so were you, and the morning talk host and the weatherman and the horror movie host. Community.
Now, most markets have local news people and sportscasters and that's all. And who really wants to be in a community with them? They'll move on to the next biggest market soon enough, anyway, and the next guy'll come in and you won't be able to tell them apart. Sandy Becker's dead, and so are Ladmo and Ghoulardi and Dr. Shock and Seymour and Bob McAllister and lots of others. Wonderama's gone, killed by changing tastes, and the other kiddie shows were killed when the law made them stop plugging Sunbeam Bread and Bosco and Nandy Candy and by changing tastes- we didn't know there WAS such a thing as attention deficit disorder back then, but a kid today watching a kid's show sketch from 1966 would be as bored as they apparently are by Looney Tunes and the Flintstones (now relegated to Boomerang while anime and the Firly Oddparents rule elsewhere). But you watch Nickelodeon in Los Angeles and it's the same as in Philadelphia and Detroit and wherever else you might be- no local color, no local jokes, no local kids mentioned, and you'll never run into the stars of whatever the latest live-action Nick variety show is at the mall. Every town has the same TV, just like it has the same Wal-Marts, the same McDonald's, the same Starbucks.
And there's a place for all that- I like knowing I can go anywhere and find reliable food and reliable shopping and reliable lodging and reliable, familiar everything if I want it. But turn on the TV and they don't have the Al Alberts Showcase on channel 6 in Philly anymore with all the little baton twirlers and ballet school kids. Skipper Chuck's an avuncular retiree. And now Ray Rayner's gone, and, soon, nobody will be around from back then, nobody will be able to explain what those shows were like. They were funny, sometimes, and stupid, a lot. Some were innovative, some weren't. Some were sophisticated, most were baggy pants and seltzer comedy. But all were local, and as the FCC prepares to have another public meeting on localism next week, it would be nice if someone would tell them what things were like when local TV was really local TV. Maybe we're too far gone for all that, but I look at the reaction in Chicago- huge obits, columns of reminiscing by countless Chicago natives- I think that maybe we could use a little of that cornball low-budget stuff today. Couldn't hurt.
Meanwhile, if you want to check out more fun stuff about the kiddie show hosts of days gone by, check out TV Party. And L.A. Local Legends. And the Wallace and Ladmo Fan Club. Speaking of which, there IS the matter of Wallace and Ladmo reruns suddenly popping up on TV in Phoenix (AZ-TV, Saturday nights)...
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