FCC Chairman Michael Powell, in his campaign to get everyone on earth to have a reason to disagree with him, came out today at the National Press Club in favor of ratcheting up indecency fines for broadcasters "tenfold," and he's also throwing his weight behind efforts to ban even the incidental, non-sexual, slip-of-the-tongue use of the word "f-ck." His rationale is that all of this dirty stuff is, well, you know...
No, actually, I DON'T know.
I've told you this before- I'm not the kind of person who uses a lot of obscene words. (Look at the edit above for confirmation) I KNOW them all, I just don't use them, because, well, something in me won't let me. I think I have a preset limit, like a gift card or a pay-as-you-go mobile phone. Can't do it. And I do tend to think that people who can't go more than three or four words without dropping f-bombs or s-bombs are not as bright as those who don't. You don't NEED to say those words all the time. But there ARE times where they just say what you're trying to say in the most efficient, effective manner, just like Yiddish is sometimes the best way to say something even if you don't understand the language- it just SOUNDS right. And there are times when it's involuntary.
Oh, yes, it is. Try hitting your thumb with a hammer.
Go ahead, I'll wait.
(bang)
See? Involuntary.
But the bluenoses in Congress, and now Powell, along with established prudes Michael Copps and Jonathan Adelstein, want to take severe punitive action against swearing on TV and radio. This is because it can have a horrible, deleterious effect on children which is... which is... which is IT'S OBVIOUS AND IF YOU DON'T SEE IT YOU'RE A PERVERT.
But I don't see it.
I knew what the F-word was by the time I was, oh, I'd say 7 years old, and I knew what it meant shortly thereafter. I remember a kid announcing it to us when we were hanging on the monkey bars at Lafayette School. The s-word was never a mystery. The a-word- also never incomprehensible. I knew all the words. Here I am, an adult, still knowing them all plus words I'll bet most people don't know and practices that have to be illegal in most states, but I don't say the words much, can't bring myself to write them, and don't practice anything I'd be embarrassed to admit. (The trapeze and closet-full-of-latex-and-leather are for decorative purposes only) So how did those words hurt me? They didn't.
But don't try to tell the schmucks (Yiddish!) on Capitol Hill that, nor is it anything more than a waste of time to tell the FCC anything of the sort. They're going to make saying rude words a crime. Oh, THEY all use those words, I guarantee it, but YOU can't. Kids, you see.
Too many bad laws and policies come from claims that they're "protecting the children." This would be a bad law, and the children, in this case, don't need protecting. I'll bet your kids know every swear word there is, and I'll bet that they didn't learn them from Bono or Nicole Richie. They learn 'em from their peers, who learn them from older kids, because it's a legacy passed down from generation to generation. They're only words. Let them be.
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