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Pre-game temperature- normal. No Super Bowl fever here. That went away two weeks ago in Philadelphia.

Weird this year- there's so much going on in my life right now that I can't really work up a lather over the game. I've been asked a thousand times who I want to win the game, and I almost always have an answer for that, but this time, I don't. Pats, Cats, whatever. My thoughts are elsewhere; I'm dealing with far more difficult issues than whether Jake's for real or Brady can win another one. If I could tell you, you'd understand, but for now, you'll just have to take my word for it.

One thing, though- who thought it would be a good idea to put Duran Duran on the pregame show? THERE's a pressing issue.

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So I watched anyway. Observations:

1) Contrary to Jim Nantz' overheated praise- best Super Bowl ever?- the game sucked for long, long stretches. The fast and furious exchanges, and the final few minutes, made up for those, but it was hardly a classic from beginning to end.

2) I liked the Chevy commercial with the kids sitting there, soap bars in their mouths, except that I don't remember the model and it didn't make me want to buy it- automatic retracting roof? What about the engine, the ride, the handling, the comfort? Most of the commercials sucked badly enough so that I can't even recall them.

3) CBS' coverage of football couild not be more bland. And that theme- da, da da DA, da DAAAA, duhduhduhduhDUHduh da, da da DA...- could not be more annoying, repeated every few seconds. It made me long for the Fox swoosh sound effect. Almost.

4) I can't believe for a second that Janet Jackson's breast exposure on the MTV-produced half time stinkfest was an accident. If CBS feigns annoyance and blames MTV, remember that Viacom OWNS CBS and MTV, and Mel Karmazin, if he was truly out of the loop, can and should fire everyone responsible. If he doesn't, then you can assume- no proof, but it smells like this- everyone knew and approved. I don't think it was an accident. And if it wasn't, let's see if the FCC agrees that it's the kind of egregious flouting of its rules that warrants license revocation. I'm not saying I AGREE with that- I'm not all that crazy about the overheated anti-indecency crap spewing from Capitol Hill and Michael Copps lately- but if Bubba the Love Sponge talking about masturbation is worth a record fine, a bare breast when EVERYONE is watching, including our precious chillun, ought to be worth one hell of a court case. It would be worth it to hear the testimony about the damage done by an exposed breast.

5) Adam Vinateri is a hero now, but remember that had he made those chip shots in the first half, he wouldn't have needed to play the hero. At least he cleaned up his own mess (with a little help from his offense).

Anyway, I STILL don't care who won, but at least there was some entertainment involved. And I'm ready for spring training now.

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Good evening. Tonight's lead story: President Bush will appoint an independent panel to investigate Janet Jackson's breast. The President is trying to head off criticism from House Democrats that he is trying to sweep Janet Jackson's breast under the carpet. Prime Minister Blair is expected to launch his own investigation of Janet Jackson's breast in the coming days.

That's Janet Jackson's breast for Monday, February 2nd. I'm Paul Moyer, but you can call me Miss Jackson if you're nasty.

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I made a mistake.

I thought that you were supposed to be honest, hard-working, decent. You were supposed to follow the law, do the right thing, hurt no one. I was wrong.

Bobby Knight verbally attacks his own boss at a grocery. His punishment- back on the sidelines to coach Texas Tech the next night.

Janet Jackson exposes herself, apparently deliberately, in front of the largest TV audience of the year. Justin Timberlake enables it, then lies about a "wardrobe malfunction." Punishment- they remain on the Grammy entertainment roster.

Al Sharpton perpetrates a slanderous accusation of rape that turns out to be a lie, and not only doesn't apologize, but continues to make the accusation. Punishment- he's treated with kid gloves by the media and other candidates, and people continue to donate cash to him.

Evidently, it doesn't matter if you do the right thing, tell the truth, be faithful. You don't even have to say you're sorry.

And I always think this, and resolve to get my share before it's too late. And then I go right back to the way I always do things, and I join the millions who get stepped on by the people who do whatever the hell they want. I think it's genetic- you're either the stepper or the steppee. Most of us are steppees.

Although, for the right amount of money, I AM willing to bare my breast on national TV. Cash or certified checks only. And, unlike someone else we've seen, I won't even cover up with a nipple ornament.

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In the mail today:

"Green Acres" on DVD. Season One.

Digital Arnold Ziffel. Crystal clear Eb. Dolby Digital Haney, Hank Kimball, Newt Kiley, Alf and Ralph Monroe.

It just doesn't get any better than this.

Not until "The Flintstones: Season One" comes out in the Spring, that is.

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Wrote something. Didn't like it. Didn't feel like rewriting it. Didn't feel like writing much of anything.

Here, you do it. Take these phrases and form paragraphs around them: "John Kerry." "Breast." "Ricin." "Prewar intelligence." "Signing day." "I'm tired and I'm going to stop writing now."

How'd that last one get in there?

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NBC has edited out a shot of an elderly woman's breasts from tonight's episode of "ER," to the consternation of the show's producer. This is being held up as an example of America's puritanism post-Super Bowl. What's wrong with seeing a woman's breast, some people are asking. It's natural, it's just a body part, what's the big deal?

They're right. As I said about J---t J-----n's breast (she's gotten enough free publicity- let her pay for it now), I'm not offended by breasts. I'm not even all that horrified that children would see it- what harm could possibly come to a child who sees a bare female breast? But I'm unsympathetic to the "ER" folks, and here's why:

Did they have to show an elderly woman's breast in that show? No. Is it essential to the plot? No. Does it enhance verisimilitude? Not really- the show doesn't need more. So why did they put it in there to begin with?

Simple- for controversy's sake. Controversy sells, right? So they throw a breast shot- an elderly woman's breast, at that- and they hope people will buzz about it. In short, the only reason they put it in there is because it's taboo. If everyone thought the way the producers (and me, at that) think about naked breasts, they wouldn't even THINK of bothering to show them. But they KNOW it's offensive to some people, and they want to throw it in those prudes' faces.

THAT'S offensive.

Nudity in art is fine. Nudity where it's intrinsic to the plot or scenario makes sense. But you don't expect to see nudity on "ER." You don't, even though they've evidently slipped some in before. You don't NEED it. The producers are using breasts as a cheap ploy for attention, nothing more. That they act as if they're above that is laughable. They can trot out the "appropriate and in context" thing and "if you don't like it, turn the channel" and "this is why people turn to HBO," and these are all fine and they still don't wash, because this ISN'T HBO and they AREN'T making "The Sopranos" and they KNOW that. It's a different game, and it's still a breast-free zone.

Not that I think it SHOULD be. It IS stupid that we have these taboos, and that network TV has to be programmed, to an extent, as "safe for children." But if I'm John Wells and my show has to cut a gratuitous breast shot (oh, yes, it is- losing it won't change tonight's episode one iota, will it?), I don't whine about it. I'd go to Congress and the FCC and ask them to delineate the standards by which a naked breast is harmful to children, and I'd be entertained by their inability to do so. But I wouldn't want the return question to be "why DID you need to put the breast in there?," because there's no good answer for that, either.

No heroes in this one, folks. Except for the breast.

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Maybe I'm missing something here, but if it's so damn important for John Kerry to pick up Dick Gephardt's endorsement because of all the union support that Gephardt can deliver, why didn't Gephardt do better when he was still in the race? After all, if Gephardt had solid union backing, wouldn't he actually have gotten some votes instead of ending up the way he did?

And why isn't that addressed in the news stories about the endorsement?

Just asking...

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The satellite radio classic rock channel- Fran's listening in the living room- is playing "Comfortably Numb" right now. Oh, how I wish I was in that state at this moment.

Yep, another dental whine. Sorry.

I had some more work done today- just five or so more appointments left!- and the procedure left me with the kind of aching that feels as if each nerve in the root of every tooth in my mouth has been hit with a hammer, hit over and over and over and over and over and over and....

But you don't want to hear it.

And I'm tired of telling you about it.

Not that I'm going to stop now. But I'll give it a rest for the evening, primarily to give MYSELF a rest. You can thank me later.

By the way, finally saw "Lost in Translation." Really good. It's a good week for DVDs- "Lost in Translation" and "American Splendor," two of the year's best. Go rent them. Go BUY them.

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For reasons too boring to discuss, I'm not supposed to eat anything that could stain my teeth until tomorrow evening, leaving me with the small problem of determining what exactly I CAN eat. Mayonnaise, I suppose, is perfect, except for the small detail that I hate mayo, except in tuna fish, which is also perfect, except for the small detail that I can't eat that every meal. Soup? Not chicken soup (electric yellow) or minestrone (brown) or anything with flavor. Burgers? No ketchup, no sauce, nothing but mayo, which isn't going to happen. Chicken? Dry. So, what then?

Cheerios, white cheese, and tuna.

I am counting the hours until Sunday dinner.

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