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So, what did you do for the Fourth?

We did, um, not a whole lot. Bought some new sunglasses for running, a couple of pairs of shorts, a book. Ate a burger and a hot dog. Watched TV. Listened to the fireworks echo across the cove from San Pedro. Listened to the sirens of the emergency vehicles.

See, that there's why not to leave the house on a holiday. Someone probably lost some fingers there.

But it's a holiday, and most of you will have Monday off. Go enjoy it. Try to keep your fingers attached.

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I was born on this date several years ago. Back then, the world was in black and white and grainy, and people played bongos and smoked and stuff. Then I came along, and all hell broke loose. It has not stopped breaking loose since then.

Glad to be of assistance.

Anyway, I celebrated the big event by doing virtually nothing but working and trying (so far, with limited success) to convert a PAL video to NTSC to be burned to a DVD and sitting around in a remarkably bad mood unrelated to the blessed event. Shoulda gone to the Dodger game to watch Gagne finally blow a save, but sulked instead. I'm good at sulking.

Back to the regular work grind tomorrow. I suspect we'll all be in vacation mode for the rest of the week- short week in summer equals little of value accomplished. You can be the judge of that- see you tomorrow.

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Poor Eric Douglas.

He could never live up to his father Kirk's image. His brother Michael got the looks, the talent, the Catherine Zeta-Jones. Eric was a B-movie actor/comedian who ended up addicted, unemployed, and, now, dead.

Nobody tells you that you have to outdo your family. And, in truth, you don't have to. If you're Eric Douglas, you get people asking what you're up to, wondering why you're not, you know, Michael. And you have to make a choice- you either laugh it off, do your own thing, stop measuring yourself against your sibling and your dad, or you drink and drug yourself into oblivion. The former's hard. The latter's way too easy.

I have a hard time imagining being in the shoes of an Eric Douglas, a Marcus Vick or a Neil Bush. My sister and I are both reasonably successful but not wildly famous- but if Joan became a superstar (and I'm not ruling that out), I'd be happy for her and I don't think it'd send me to the Lynchburg Lemonade. And at some point, if I was chasing my sibling's footsteps and falling further behind, I'd remind myself that there's no shame in doing something else, that there are benefits to not being famous, not being harassed by fans and the media.

On the other hand, the perks of fame are pretty amazing. You can't help but be a little jealous. Or a lot jealous.

And I'll bet that consumed Eric Douglas, a guy with problems to begin with, a guy who watched his brother become as huge, huger in some ways than their father. He wanted all that, he could taste it, but he wasn't what the public wanted. I want to feel sorry for him, but, dude, nobody owed you a movie career. If you couldn't deal with getting a real job and not being a celebrity, you couldn't deal with the life most people lead. Sorry, man, but that's not enough of a tragedy for me to care.

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Customer service has a new mantra- the customer is not always right. Actually, I beg to differ. They're acting like the customer doesn't matter even a little bit.

I've had to deal with several examples of this lately. (Disclaimer: This is all purely my opinion based on dealings with these companies. Your mileage may differ) Take ING Direct, the on-line-only bank. They're great when you open an account, fine when transferring money INTO their accounts, but when my father passed away, they became, in my opinion, nothing but a pain in the ass. I've provided them with all the documentation they demanded- wills, trusts, death certificates, letters of instruction- and so far, they're just sitting on it. Not nicely, either. (They're not alone- Mellon Financial did the same thing. Not even a nice tone of voice- they seemed annoyed that I would bother them over such trivialities) I finally got a nice CSR on the phone today, three weeks after they received all the documentation they needed, but she put me on hold for 20 minutes (no hold music, even) and passed it all along to someone else. She suggested I call back next week to check on it. I suggested that if they want to keep me as a customer, THEY should call ME. My opinion of ING Direct right now? Not good- unresponsive to my needs, less than cooperative. Let's see if this improves- I'll be the first to say they did a good job if they can fix this. But after all this, I'm skeptical.

And then there's what happens when you buy shareware and need support, and the company doesn't bother to offer it. I'm giving the makers of All Video Converter another few hours before I get really upset- only e-mail support offered, and they just haven't responded.

There's so much more here, but the bottom line is that I'm tired of being treated like an imposition by banks, retailers, financial service companies, waiters... Maybe the customer isn't always right, but in these cases, I AM right, and I think I should be treated with more respect.

Like that'll happen.

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Look! An article about me! With a picture and everything! In a real paper!

http://www.laweekly.com/ink/04/33/considerable.php

Ah, how sweet the feeling of one's ego swelling beyond reason...

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Today's customer service indignity features the staff of Bell South, or, as its logo proclaims, BELLSOUTH. Today, I got a notice that had been forwarded from my father's address:

HAROLD SIMON

We would like to talk with you concerning your service.

Please call our office by JULY 5, 2004.

Account Representative

Uh, okay, except for a few minor things:

1. Harold Simon died over a month ago.
2. He has no phone service now.
3. It's July 9.

So I called BELLSOUTH! and promptly ended up on hold for 5 minutes, then got a cheerful customer service rep, who only heard a few seconds of my dilemma before putting me on hold for about 10 minutes and transferring me to another cheerful customer service rep, who told me I needed to talk to "Collections" and put me on hold, which promptly hung up on me.

All right, no more Mr. Nice Guy. I called back and ended up with another customer service rep, who proceeded to tell me that the problem was that they'd gotten my father's death certificate and were ready to change the account over to his wife's name. All they needed was someone to call and make that happen. Okay, I said, I'm here, let's do it. Uh, no, he replied, only the wife can do that. Okay, but why did you not write HER? I asked. We have to send it to the person who requested the change, he said.

My dad did not request the change, I pointed out, because he's dead. And the death certificate might have been a tip-off to that effect.

The CSR wouldn't budge. We have to send it to the account holder, he said, because he requested the change. No, he didn't, I responded, because he's dead, and his mail isn't going to the house where his wife is, and you're sending notices to a dead man, and will you PLEASE GET ME A SUPERVISOR?

Another 10 minutes on hold.

Got a supervisor, explained everything, she put me on hold (again), called my dad's wife, and straightened everything out. But she couildn't answer why the company, presented with irrefutable proof that the account holder was, indeed, deceased, would not then just change the account as his wife and I were requesting but instead insisted that my dad respond to a vague notice after death.

Aargh.

(On the bright side, "All Video Converter" finally responded, gave me the instructions to remove the watermark from video converted from PAL to NTSC, it worked, done. Why it took so long, I don't know, but the thing works and they're back in my good graces. For now)

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Finally.

No obligations, no major work. The light at the end of the tunnel turns out to be a brilliantly sunny day, warm and lovely. I went to the ballpark today, watched Clemens pitch, saw LoDuca blast one out with two on, hung out. Came back, relaxed, had dinner, now it'll be movies on the TV and no worries.

It's about time.

It's about NOW. Excuse me.

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