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Here's the front of the line at today's protests (credit: AP Photo/Joe Cavaretta):

Although I swear I saw:

Or was it

although I'd have preferred

(OK, the Photoshopping sucks. Whaddya want, it's Sunday and I don't really want to spend any time working, you know what I'm sayin'?)

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What struck me in this article about the "yoof" party for young Republicans in New York ("R: The Party") was the following:

(Wrestler) Ivory said she was appearing in a "nonpartisan" capacity as part of Rock the Vote's effort to increase the number of young voters. "We're trying to get 20 million young people out to vote," she said.

And this:

Actor Stephen Baldwin was among those in the crowded ballroom, but he said he was not affiliated with a political party.

"I'm here to try to support faith-based politics," he said. He declined to name his candidate of choice, saying only that "I'm going to vote for the guy who will truly be led by God." Like President Bush, Baldwin is a born-again Christian.

When was the last time you heard celebrities try to disassociate themselves from the Democratic Party? Do liberal Democrats deny- even while standing in a Democratic social event at the Democratic convention- that they're Democrats?

Obviously not. And here are celebrities on hand at the Young Republican bash at the Republican National Convention, being coy about being Republicans. Why is that? Do they fear retribution for being different? Do they fear unemployment if their difference is "found out" or confirmed? Why wouldn't they say, well, yes, I'm a Republican, I support the President, what of it?

On the other hand, considering the entertainment at the convention, maybe you don't want to be associated with them.

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You know how I feel about this.

You know how I feel that radio gives itself a bad image by adopting "wacky" names and doing "wacky" stunts and generally promoting a phony, annoying, unfunny image that does the insdutry no good. Boner in the Morning, Mancow, that kind of thing- it feeds into the idea of radio as something less than TV and newspapers, as something unworthy of serious attention. And then, when advertisers decide where to spend money, radio comes off as the junior high school of the media.

And then there's a couple of radio sidekicks who have moved from a local "Urban AC" station to its sister hip-hop station and have adopted new names and images. I'm sure they're nice and talented people, but now, they're...

..."Roxy and Snatch."

No, really.

Here, from what appears to be their management's website, is how they're selling the concept:

Roxy and Snatch, Mornings Exposed Fresh, new and innovative- A show that can fill a need, take risks, share real life, bring memorable and relatable characters. Roxy and Snatch can tell a story, and know how to bring laughs and emotions to the airwaves.

"Real life"? Here's how "real" they are:

ROXY Smart, opinionated, neurotic, southern trailer trash with a dysfunctional family, always searching for the perfect martini. On a quest for her one and only, sampling everything (and everyone) that crosses her path along the way.

A character. A "wacky" character. Not a real person. "Always searching for the perfect martini"- as original as a Foster Brooks routine. "Wacky" southern drunken slut. Ha ha.

SNATCH The "Mad Mexican," perennially insecure about his looks, craves attention, spreads gossip, tells outrageous lies, a hypochondriac, complains about his Catholic guilt, and is overly emotionally invested in everything.

"Mad Mexican"? Stereotypes ahoy! Another "wacky" character. Oy.

Local Launch Ideas for Roxy and Snatch "Mornings Exposed" would like to capture the art of exposure. In addition to a billboard tease a month prior to launch, we would like to broadcast for the first 30 days from half of a double-wide making it's way into the city and parking it in a prime location. Half of the double wide would be covered with glass or clear plastic to allow people to see us broadcasting and living in the trailer (Trailer Trash comes to the CITY)--We'll live and broadcast from there to create a buzz and get national media coverage.

Geddit? Trailer trash! Ha ha! In a real trailer! Maybe we can encase it in ice and do one of those "Frozen Alive" stunts, kill two birds with one stone!

Some of the Benchmarks Pussy Willow the cat (sex advice) and Butch the dog (her lover) Panty lines and Skid marks Snatch on the Streets

I'm speechless.

No, actually, I want to know how the same company that fired people for sexual innuendo that didn't even get them fined is A-OK with pussy and snatch jokes and "panty lines and skid marks." Guess it's OK if the audience is primarily very young.

I don't want to suggest that the talent involved here is bad, or that they're automatically unfunny because of the lame setup- they might be very good at this. The problem, to me, is what "this" is- it's what radio thinks the public wants, stereotypes and obvious jokes. And maybe that's what the people want. On the other hand, Howard Stern built a career out of exposing the fake-air-name, forced-jollity "zoos," so maybe they don't. Either way, put yourself in an advertiser's position- no, put yourself in an account executive's position. Imagine yourself trying to sell ads to a car dealer on "Roxy and Snatch." "It's what the kids like," you'd say, sweating profusely. And the car dealer will thank you for coming in, tell you he'll think about it, and wait until you walk out before slipping the rate card into the dustbin.

And then the radio industry wonders why, despite being a more effective and efficient advertising medium than print and even cable, they can't sell more and they can't prop the rates up. It's the product, stupid. Or the stupid product.

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Lots to do around the house today, so not enough time to say much here. Keeping it short:

I guess I was wrong about the Swifties stuff having much of an effect, but I still don't think, ultimately, that it's the only thing turning the polls or which may affect the election. There's still a long way to go before people vote, and plenty of stuff that can happen to push things either way. But there has been some effect from the "Unfit for Command" thing, not to make Kerry's service a liability but rather to just raise a little doubt about the guy's character, to make him appear to be an opportunistic, inflated-ego guy- in short, a politician, which is not as strong a position as war hero.

Still, this ain't over, and I still think you don't beat Kerry on the issue of service to the country, you beat him on his record. But he's been taken down several pegs, and I didn't think it would happen quite this quickly and quite this way. There, I admitted it. What do I win?

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Bush's speech? Yeah, whatever. Was Zell "hateful" or right on target? I'll get back to you on that. Can the Sox keep it up and erase the "1918!" chants in the Bronx once and for all? Maybe, but I have more important things going on right now.

My Treo's broken.

More precisely, the screen's cracked. This morning, I discovered that my cell phone/PDA/smart phone/life saver's screen has a nasty crack that has left a third of the screen blank. The phone still receives calls, but you can't read the screen. And the web and e-mail? Useless, unless you want to guess what most of the messages say.

This is about as big a catastrophe to me as anything technology-related can be. Without at-my-fingertips-all-the-time e-mail, it might as well be, oh, I don't know, 1998 here. I'm so used to being in touch in all ways at all times that I'm kind of lost here. If I leave the house, I'll have no e-mail! I can't administer the web site! I can't write columns on the road or at the ballpark or in the locker room! I'm lost!

This is where my snap decision to add insurance to the cell phone account seems like a smart move- a few bucks a month, a $35. deductible, and a (refurbished, but better than a complete wash, and it's warranteed for a year) replacement Treo 600 is on its way to return me to 2004. Not that 2004's been a good year, but still, it'll be good to get back to the freedom that being able to leave the office and still work affords me. All I have to do is get through this weekend.

This long weekend.

This long, long weekend.

Withdrawal. The paiiiiinnnnn.

And then I perused the Treo Central message boards for, really, I don't know why, but I did, and there it was, coming soon...

...Treo 650. A new one. Coming within months. Even zippier and cooler. Better resolution screen. Bluetooth. Actual hardware answer and hangup buttons. A better backlit keyboard. A removable battery!

I want it. I need it. I will have it.

Three Treos in three years.

Hi, I'm Perry and I'm a Treoholic. I'm powerless over my addiction. Now, gimme the damn phone.

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