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February 6, 2005 - February 12, 2005 Archives

February 6, 2005

PRE-GAME IRRELEVANCY

Highlights of my off-and-on watching so far: Terry Bradshaw grabbing the mic and shoving it back in front of former President Bush, and Clinton not answering the "who's gonna win?" question as if he's still planning to run for something. (I watched more of the Sixers-Clippers and Rockets-Lakers games than the official pre-game crap)

Gretchen Wilson's singing right now, and at least it's clear she's really singing (and actually hitting all the notes), but the "crowd" on the field for this is so clearly phony that it's distracting. They have about a hundred young people jumpiong up and down and pumping their fists for Charlie Daniels, and I think it's pretty safe to say that you'd have to pay anyone under 50 to jump up and down and pump his or her fist because they're hearing "The Devil Came Down to Georgia." I'd say that the NFL was out of touch, but everyone does this, because they want to, I don't know, engender excitement among viewers. Why, if a generic multicultural crowd is orgasmic over an old country fiddler, then perhaps I should be, too!

Radio Moment: James Brown just dropped Donnie Simpson's name when teasing the Black Eyed Peas and Earth, Wind and Fire ("I sound like Donnie Simpson!"). A bunch of people in Washington just got a charge out of that.

And, now, it's the Black Eyed Peas. Sorry, but they kinda suck. At least they didn't come out and sing "Let's Get it Started." Oddly enough, the same hundred fans who were groovin' to Charlie Daniels are going wild over the Peas and Earth, Wind and Fire singing "Shining Star." Guess the kids, they love the oldies. Left unexplained is how, at the hottest ticket in sports, with security at a maximum, there's suddenly a huge mob of people ON THE FIELD waving their arms in unison to "Where Is the Love"? And now, Charlie Daniels is on stage for no apparent reason.

I love this game. Anyway.


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FIRST QUARTER, 10:00 LEFT

Nothing doing on the ground, a little tentative in the air. New England's swarming, Westbrook seems to have gotten lost on the way to the park, and here I go getting all negative while NOBODY'S SCORED YET.

Geez. Maybe I should just pay more attention to the commercials. That FedEx one was cute.


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END OF FIRST QUARTER (AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON)

Underthrow, overthrow, nerves.

Penalty, penalty, interception.

If this is the first quarter of NFL football someone's seen this season, they can't be impressed.

Yick.

Most of the commercials suck, too.


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SECOND QUARTER, 9:55 LEFT

The Pinky catch was key, of course, but the way L.J. Smith fought his way out of a crowd- escaped being bottled up- was pretty excellent.

Suddenly, even the commercials seem better, although I appear to have reached the point where celebrity cameos in commercials elicit more of a "who's that supposed to be" reaction than the knowing nod that the ads are supposed to get. I'm not in the demo anymore. But the worst in that regard wasn't a Super Bowl commercial and wasn't filled with people I don't know- the NBA's running an "I Love This Game" spot featuring Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, Kelly Clarkson, all the teen girl stars, and while I imagine it probably pleases horny young guys, I can't imagine it making teenaged girls into instant Memphis Grizzlies fanatics, no matter HOW dreamy Pau Gasol may be.


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SECOND QUARTER- 4:25 LEFT

Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes. You'd think there'd be more settling down by now, but both teams are just plain off. Brady's fumble, Johnson's miserable punt... it's not getting any better.

Signature element so far: early on, L.J. Smith caught one and got drilled into the ground, and got up with a huge clump of grass in his helmet. Several minutes later, the clump was still there.

By the way, who in the world could have possibly thought that the Bud Light commercial with the bird upbraiding guys at a bar was funny or would sell beer?


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SECOND QUARTER- 1:10 LEFT

Well, that was inevitable. Givens was wide open, and the Eagles gave the Patriots field position too good to screw up (although they'd screwed that up before).

7-7, and nobody thought that would be the score at this stage. Neither the "Pats in a blow out" nor the "close game" people anticipated anything other than a high-scoring affair, which was curious insofar as the same people were touting how great the defenses are.

And they are, so 7-7 shouldn't be all that shocking. The sloppiness isn't a surprise for the Eagles, who played sloppy first halves all season, but the Patriots are usually more together out of the gate than this.


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AT THE HALF

There is little worse than forgettable football. Bad football's entertaining when the screw-ups are really huge and embarrassing. Good football's, well, good. This- well, it's tied, and I've already forgotten most of it.

I'm gonna go cook dinner. You go watch Paul McCartney or something. If someone's wardrobe malfunctions, call me back into the house, willya?


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THIRD QUARTER- 1:08 LEFT

So I ended up on a phone call while the Pats scored, then the Eagles scored. Trouble: Eagles can't stop Branch. Good: Westbrook's back in the game. Bad: Pinkston- yes, this is bad, despite his difficulties at times- is in the locker room getting an IV. Real trouble: those third down conversions by New England, which seem to be easier than they should be.

14-14 in the waning moments of the third? There are worse places to be.


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FOURTH QUARTER- 13:44 LEFT

The painful part of this is how the Eagles seem to know what's coming yet let it happen anyway. They called the screen- they yelled it out as the play rolled out- yet there was Dillon, there was the ball, there was the goal line, there was the lead.

There's time. Still, if you can see trouble coming and you can't do anything to stop it, that's a bad sign.


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FOURTH QUARTER- 13:32 LEFT

Oh, yeah, can we all agree that the Pylon Cam needs to be retired? Good. It's pointless. Can't see anything with it. Lose it. Thanks.


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FOURTH QUARTER- 11:44 LEFT

Three and out at this stage of the game is awful, unacceptable, pathetic. Then a crap punt that gives New England decent field position yet again... you can't get angry about it, just frustrated.

Still not over. Need a stop, need something more from the offense.

But if they can't stop Branch, and he just got another one despite Sheldon Brown being exactly where he needed to be, it ain't gonna happen.


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FOURTH QUARTER- 8:40 LEFT

The look on Jim Johnson's face before Dillon picked up the first down said it all- He just looked frustrated and answer-free, watching his defense just plain being outplayed. And guys in green keep going down- Kearse went to the ground writhing and grabbing his calf. He stayed in, though.

Finally, they stopped the Patriots on third and goal. Field goal, better than it could have been, but there's still a mountain to climb and not a lot of time to do it in. Confidence? Ummm, well, not really. Good thing I'm not a player or coach.



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FOURTH QUARTER- 5:02 LEFT

Goodnight.

Another terrible decision by McNabb, another interception, another disaster.

And even though they stopped New England and forced a punt, they're throwing underneath, 2 and 4 yard plays when they need 20 and 40 yards. This is what happens when your quarterback is having a bad night and your game plan is too conservative for your needs.

Maybe the "Simpsons" episode wil be good. Probably not.


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FOURTH QUARTER- 2:30 LEFT

WHAT THE HELL IS MCNABB DOING? Why is he WALKING INTO THE HUDDLE, wasting time?

If the game wasn't over before, he's making sure of it. He's tired? It's the last game. You had two weeks off. There's no excuse.

If there's anything coming out of this game, it's that McNabb is just plain not good enough. He has two minutes to make a miracle. He can do it. If he doesn't want to be embarrassed, he has to come through now. If he thinks a slow-huddle offense instead of a no-huddle offense is appropriate now, he's mistaken.


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FOURTH QUARTER- 1:48 LEFT

And wouldn't this touchdown have been better if they'd left themselves enough time to score again?

Over, it isn't. And Vegas must be a madhouse right now.


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FOURTH QUARTER- 1:47 LEFT

Worst. On-side kick. Ever.

Okay, not the worst- New England didn't score or anything. But that was virtually a bloop right into a guy's hands.

Ah, well.


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THE END

No miracle. McNabb didn't have it in him, and he didn't show himself to be even an adequate clock manager in a critical moment.

Unprepared or unable, there's no excuse. But New England, even on an off day (and they were off today), is a better team.

When does Spring Training start?


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INSULT TO INJURY

"The Simpsons" sucked tonight, too.

You know it's bad when there are multiple "guest voices" playing themselves and they all wear sweatshirts with their names on them so you know who they're supposed to be.

The ratio of hits to misses on that show is getting a lot worse.

And "American Dad" appears to be a less funny "Family Guy" in which Dad's obnoxious instead of stupid, there's a wacky talking fish instead of a talking dog, and there's a sarcastic alien instead of a sarcastic baby. I'll take "Family Guy." Actually, I'll take the rest of the night off.


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February 7, 2005

DAD'S JUSTICE

    W.R. Grace & Co. and seven of the corporation's executives were indicted Monday for engaging in a long-running conspiracy to "knowingly release" hazardous asbestos fibers that placed the entire town of Libby, Montana, "in imminent danger of death or serious bodily injury," the Justice Department announced.

    The indictment says for many years company officials knew, and tried to hide, the dangers to the community of 8,000 residents from its hazardous mining operation. Prosecutors say 1,200 residents of Libby have suffered lung diseases and related pleural abnormalities from exposure to tremolite asbestos. The document says more than 20 town residents suffered "an extremely rare and fatal form of cancer in humans known as mesothelioma."

I see that and I have nothing more to say.

Except this: I saw what mesothelioma did to my father and then I see a company cavalierly exposing a whole town to asbestos and it makes me beyond angry.

It made my father angry, too. Before he died, he told me about Libby, Montana, about the way the whole town was full of the fibers and how the company allegedly knew what it was doing and hid the truth from the people. And now the indictments are out, and the company's denying everything, with this P.R. spin:

    "As a company and as individuals, we believe that one serious illness or lost life is one too many."

If the company and its executives- if ANYBODY- really knew what was happening and tried to hide it... there is no punishment too severe. And I'd like to be there to watch when it happens.


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February 8, 2005

THIS IS ONLY A TEST

I've been trying to see if I can post from my Treo. Sometimoes it works, sometimes not.

If you see this, it worked.


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February 9, 2005

OLD MAN, TAKE A LOOK AT MY LIFE

The commercial bothered me the moment I saw it. It was on a Super Bowl pre-game show, and it was striking and disturbing- a boy in a 1950s living room is sitting on the floor at what appears to be his grandfather's feet, watching "I Love Lucy" on a big black-and-white console TV. He gets up and walks away, and as he walks he morphs into older and older versions of himself and the scene changes accordingly- he's a teenager at a party with a smaller black-and-white TV, he's walking through a Johnny Rockets-style malt shop with a TV on, he's a young sideburned husband with his wife and baby and a portable TV, he's an adult walking through a bar with color TVs overhead, and as he walks through the bar, having lost his hair, he begins to hobble and look, well decrepit. And finally, he walks into a living room much like the one in which he started, he takes a seat in front of a flat-panel TV, and a boy- his grandson, probably, although you never know- sits on the floor in front of him. The spot is supposed to sell DirecTV, but I found it odd, unsettling. See, the timeline starts in the early 50's. I was a kid in the 60's.

I don't like this aging thing.

I've been insulated, for the most part, from watching the ravages of age- my parents were both young-acting, young-appearing, vibrant, active people until cancer ravaged them and took them in a relatively short time. Dad's hair was still mostly black at 73- he was proud of that- and he was out there playing tennis and swimming and shooting hoops until a few months before he died. Mom was Mom- exactly the same from the 60's all the way to a few months before she died, and then she was gone. I don't know what will happen to me, but I'm feeling some of the aging process now- aches, pains, creaking, not as fast as I used to be. And then I see a commercial, trying to sell me something!, reminding me that you rapidly go from a young sprite to an old fart in the relative space of a 60 second commercial. You'll end up like Grandpa, it says, having a hard time getting around, sitting uncomfortably forward on a decrepit chair passively watching the flickering images on the TV as your grandkid fidgets on the carpet, not pleased you're there- he'd be playing GTA San Andreas on that screen if you would just go away- but stuck with you nonetheless, because Mom told him he had to be with you because, well, Grandpa's lonely and besides, when he kicks, you want to be in the will, don't you?

Yeah, I think I'll run out and buy a DirecTV right away. Sold. You get Lawrence Welk on that thing?

I'd like to think I'm still part of the future. I have a whiz-bang computer thing, I have satellite radio- I do WORK for a satellite radio company, for the moment at least- and I don't recoil at the mention of the latest hip-hop hit or teen fad. But DirecTV has shown me the truth. I'm minutes away from geezerhood, minutes away from sitting in a booth alone at the Roll 'n' Rye gumming a corned beef-on-rye and loudly denouncing the guvmint to nobody in particular.

Oh, wait, I don't have DirecTV, I have Dish Network. Whew. There's still hope.


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February 10, 2005

NEW READER ALERT

Sometimes you assume that when you're a writer, everyone you know reads everything you write, but that isn't the case. I know, for example, that Fran reads the column, because I catch her on the computer reading it- I think she uses it to try and figure out exactly what's percolating inside my mind, since I guess my typical daily behavior doesn't betray much of that. I know when friends read it, because some of them (hi, Joe!) berate me for my troglodyte tendencies and others (hi, Larry!) approve of the same. But I get a lot of "now, what is it that you do again?" from my friends and relatives. That's okay- I don't sit in their offices and watch what they do for a living, either.

Our friend Gwen just found out about this page. Gwen's been Fran's friend since childhood and didn't sternly disapprove of me when Fran started dating me, so I instantly liked her. She hasn't actually read this column yet, but the whole idea that I write stuff like this, related to her by Fran, is apparently intriguing, and she told Fran that she'd love to be mentioned in this blog. Well, who am I to deny a request like that? So, hello and welcome to our newest reader, Gwen Canter of New Jersey!

(Now, if she reads any of the stuff I've written, that stern disapproval may yet be forthcoming....)



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February 11, 2005

THE PROBLEM WITH SOCIAL INTERACTION, OR A GOOD REASON TO BE A HERMIT

Up to now, I've been working mostly at home with only occasional trips out of town or business meetings and lunches up in Burbank or Hollywood, and I've maintained good health, even when it appeared that the rest of society was dropping like flies from the flu, colds, the grippe, whatever. And I'd laugh- hey, I have it all figured out! Stay home! After all, you won't get sick if you don't have to go places where there are lots of people.

In the last few weeks, a project for satellite radio had me heading up to the Westside every night.

This morning, my throat hurt a little, all the way back in the deepest corner. My ear was a little uncomfortable. My throat was kicking up a little phlegm.

Maybe I shouldn't leave the house.


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THERE GOES MR. JORDAN

The spin didn't work. Eason Jordan's out, and he's going to be lionized by the folks who post at Romanesko. He'll be a martyr. He fell on his sword.

Here's the amazing thing- not once did CNN or Jordan even suggest for a second that the videotape of his remarks in Davos be released. There it was, proof of exactly what he said, and neither he nor CNN every asked that it be made public.

That should tell you something about the kind of martyr he is.

We are in a different age now, one where the kind of wild-ass charges and flippant remarks people would throw around with abandon in the past are now heard, reported, and fact-checked within minutes. Jordan didn't say anything that hadn't been said before by others with an axe to grind against the military- indeed, he'd said similar things before without repercussions- but now the word gets out, unfiltered. His brethren in the news media kept it quiet, but bloggers didn't, and he's gone.

I'm pretty much an absolutist on free speech, which is one of the areas in which I depart from the extremes on both left and right. I think you ought to say whatever the hell you want to say, right or wrong, obscene and indecent or refined and pure. Wanna drop f-bombs on TV? I say go ahead- even if kids hear it, it's nothing that they won't hear elsewhere and nothing they can't handle. We've discussed that here. But there's another side to that- you cannot say things without regard to consequence. You can state lies about someone, but you'll face libel charges. You CAN yell "Fire" in a crowded theater, but if people stampede, you're responsible (unless there really IS a fire, that is). And now, if you make outlandish claims about anything, there's a battalion of bloggers ready to debate you. That's not something with which people like Eason Jordan feel comfortable.

And that's why he's no longer running CNN. But I'm guessing he'll be a j-school professor any day now, nursing his wounds, teaching another generation how to do things the old-fashioned way. If he teaches them to be careful and get stories confirmed before spouting them in public, maybe this whole episode was worth it.



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February 12, 2005

THOUGHT TAKES A HOLIDAY

Long week, it's Saturday, I'm Easoned out. Only one thing to do: mindless popcorn flick time.

Why, yes, we did see "Hitch." How did you know?

(Amusing, stupid, you'll forget it in 15 minutes. Recommended for fat guys who think they stand a chance with supermodels. Popcorn was good, Icee was a little too melty- hard to suck up through the straw. Napkins were average- firm, a little rough. Seats were reasonably comfortable. Two thumbs sideways)


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About February 2005

This page contains all entries posted to PMSimon.com in February 2005. They are listed from oldest to newest.

January 30, 2005 - February 5, 2005 is the previous archive.

February 13, 2005 - February 19, 2005 is the next archive.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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