May 2007 Archives

This week's All Access newsletter goes after a forgotten necessity of talk radio:

The problem with being a former program director, besides the lifetime vow of poverty, is that I can't listen to radio without falling back into the program director thing anymore. Ask my wife, who hears it all the time. We'll be driving around, enjoying the afternoon, and I'll suddenly blurt out something like "did you hear that? He stepped all over that intro" or "hey, they got a new imaging voice... sounds like... hmm...." It's annoying, but it's a lifetime affliction.

And it's especially annoying when I'm listening to talk radio. I listen to a lot of talk radio, and I can't help but be hypercritical. Some of the shows I hear- I listen to shows from all over, thanks to the Unbridled Magic That Is The Internet- are really good, some are pretty bad, but the ones that get me most aggravated are the ones that... okay, let me see if I can explain this in a coherent manner (I know, it would be the first time. Ha ha.). You know when you hear something and you think, well, that was okay but if he'd just tried it a different way, it would have been better? Yeah, that. I hear shows that just miss the mark by inches. That's tougher to take.

What those shows tell me is that the hosts aren't getting something they need- direction. Help. Guidance. And that's something the industry needs more of- coaching. Some PDs are really good at teaching and bringing the best out of their talent, but some stations sound suspiciously like the PD isn't even listening, because there are some basics being ignored. The topic setup might be way off. Calls might be dragging on forever. It's usually something that would be easily fixed- a revision of the topic, the excision of a crutch phrase. All the talent needs is for someone to say "hey, you know that topic you did in the 2:00 hour? Here's how to make it even better- do it like THIS." Explain the adjustment, hear it work better the next time, and the station sounds better. Easy, right?

It IS easy, but I still hear experienced talent making the kind of mistakes and doing the kind of things that a PD shouldn't be letting go by. That tells me that some folks just don't get the guidance they need to help them advance their abilities to- oh, how I hate this cliche- the next level. A lot of PDs and consultants ARE providing the necessary coaching but, judging by what I've heard in markets of every size, some hosts are on their own.

If you're one of those hosts who finds him or herself left to his or her own devices, what do you do? Ask. Just ask the PD for feedback. Whatever works for you- aircheck sessions, comments on the fly, whatever. Ask for it. Don't be shy. The PD's job is to do whatever is necessary to make you and your show better... assuming that you still HAVE a PD and that your station's not being programmed from another market by some regional VP you've never met. But in that case, you were probably replaced by a syndicated show two years ago anyway.

So the word for this week is "coaching." If you're a PD, you need to do it. If you're talent, you need it. Even Michael Jordan had a coach. You can't coach natural abilities into someone, but you CAN coach a talented host to help him or her utilize those abilities to the best advantage. Yeah, this all seems way obvious, but if it's so obvious, why do I hear hosts in major markets flailing away making the same unforced errors every day? Maybe the word for the week ought to be "listen," as in "listen to your own station once in a while."

Enough of that- time for the REALLY important part where I plug All Access News-Talk-Sports, reciting a bunch of items you'll find in the Talk Topics show prep column and a few other items before wrapping things up and going off to watch some basketball. This week's Cavalcade of Stupidity includes some nostalgia about summer toys (ah, yes, the Slip 'n' Slide, I remember it well), a guy who gave up being a lawyer to play with Legos, dining with Fido, A-Rod's eventful week, the indignity of getting your home vandalized by an endangered species, the curious case of the guy with TB, why not to break into a warehouse through the big industrial fan, more football for everyone (maybe), the stay-put yarmulke, the invasion of the chicken fingers, a whole article about "guyliner," useless college degrees, the dangers of sidewalk cafes, Yoko Ono allegedly eating a dog, way too much about Kobe Bryant's existential crisis, and Britney Spears vomiting in a men's room. And there's plenty more at All Access, including the industry's first/fastest/best news coverage at Net News, charts from Mediabase, the insanely useful Industry Directory, and, as they say, much more. Come to AllAccess.com several times a day. (But you already do, don't you?)

Next week: I take a trip and whine about travel delays, probably.

TIME-WASTE THEATER: WARM MEMORIES

Busy today, so here's something I happened upon when I wasn't busy and was perusing YouTube, a clip of one of the Greatest Moments Ever:

Yes, it's the Miracle in the Meadowlands. This is the actual telecast, with the CBS credits rolling before the play and the announcers (and the rest of the world) assuming that the Giants would just sit on the ball and end the game. Good times, man, good times.

THREE YEARS ON

Dad died three years ago today, and once again, in his honor, we went out and ate steaks, with some See's Candies for dessert, because I think that would qualify as his favorite meal. We did that last year, too.

A friend whose father died very recently asked me how long it took me to get past the anger and the sorrow, and I really couldn't answer that clearly, because I think trace amounts of both tend to stick around in the back of your mind even as acceptance becomes the norm. My stages were altered by the legal battle that followed his passing, but my anger over the way he went- the unfairness of his being stuck down by the most painful cancer imaginable, caused by a substance his father worked with, killing him even though he was otherwise in unbelievably great shape- hasn't gone away. Nor has my grief that he wasn't with us tonight, that I'll never see his face or hear his voice or talk hoops with him or take him to see the Marlins or Heat ever again. I never stop missing him, just as I still miss my mother- I want them to be here, I want them to share in our lives, but that isn't going to happen. Does that feeling ever go away? Not entirely.

But I smile more than I did right after he died. Like tonight, when we raised a couple of mugs of beer and I toasted Dad and I thought, man, he'd love this, but I know he'd be sneaking peeks at the TV sets over the bar to see what the Detroit-Cleveland score was. So that's what I did. Gotta keep the tradition going.

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY

Look, I worked all day while you didn't. So all you get is more video.

Wow, WPIX's Chiller Theater, circa 1964:


Online Videos by Veoh.com

And "Mack and Myer For Hire"- haven't seen that in like 40 years:

And because it's an appropriate day for a little patriotism, let's go back to 1986 and a two minute-plus sign-off sequence for KCOP Los Angeles that culminates in Our National Anthem:

Thank you, troops.

WEEKEND NUMBERS

On this last semi-off day, let's tally up the weekend stats:

Burgers eaten: one, grilled on the backyard Weber. Mmmm.

Beers: two, both Shiners.

Books: two, both books I'd gotten a while ago and finally had time to read this weekend- "Something in the Air" by Marc Fisher (naturally, I read about radio on an off day) and "America Alone" by Mark Steyn. If I didn't have to work tomorrow, I'd try and make it three for three.

Bing Crosby Imitations Endured: one, Leo LaPorte on last week's TWiT. I can do a better Bing than that. But who's left who remembers Bing Crosby, anyway?

Baseball Games Watched: Parts of two, game three of the Phillies-Braves series (good!) and the end of Saturday's Angels-Yankees game (also good!).

There's something to be said for hanging close to the house on the holiday weekend- no traffic, no aggravation (okay, a little aggravation, much of it cat related (she chose this weekend to meow and scratch and refuse to allow us to sleep through the night)), nice and reasonably quiet. Hope you're enjoying yours, too.

SATURDAY CARTOON MAGIC

Geez, what are you doing at the computer? It's Saturday, it's a holiday weekend, go out and do something.

Or sit here and watch the opening to a lost cartoon from the 60's, "The Beagles" (hat tip to Cartoon Brew):

Or this one, "The Funny Company," which I hadn't seen since about 1966:

Or "Spunky and Tadpole," which I probably haven't seen since earlier than that:

Or Q.T. Hush, even more obscure (Toon Tracker is the source for this and other incredible clips- at least SOMEONE remembers this stuff besides me...):

And then there's Dodo, the Kid From Outer Space, which I watched every week early Saturday mornings (just after "The Modern Farmer"!):

Paired with Dodo was the exquisitely cheesy Col. Bleep, the first color cartoon made expressly for TV, which blew the budget enough that they just used narration and didn't try to do voices or sync:

And that should get you through the day.

ON THE NOS

As we enter the holiday weekend, a few personal messages for people I don't know:

To the gentleman who was doing some sort of yogic contortion naked on the floor in the locker room of the Torrance Y this afternoon, with his spread cheeks facing the full-length mirror so it was impossible to ignore as one walked by: no. Do not do that ever again. On behalf of the rest of the world, please take it behind the closed doors of your home. Even there, I'm not so sure.

To the gentleman- it might be the same guy!- who was reclining naked and sweaty on the couch in the same locker room area, also facing the same mirror, seemingly posing: no. Again, no. Just... don't.

To the woman in the Lexus SUV driving up Hawthorne Boulevard trying to dial her cell phone while in traffic: no. Pull over or put the phone away. Some people can dial and drive; you are not one of those people.

To the woman in the Nissan Altima behind whom I was stuck while trying to exit the Torrance Best Buy parking lot: no. You may not just sit there confused when there's a rare opening in traffic so you can pull out. Do not make me honk my horn again. Just freakin' drive.

To everyone else: have a great weekend.

This week's All Access newsletter deals with the radio news of the day and looks to the future- specifically, tomorrow, when we can take a couple of days off:

I could write the usual long "Letter" this week, but, you know, I just don't feel like it. Nobody wants to think about work on the eve of a long weekend. Throw in the high-profile format changes in a couple of major markets- anticipated, inevitable, but still not fun- and I just don't feel like the standard filibuster.

So I'll take mercy on you and keep this really short.

First, if there's anything to take out of the format changes, I would hope it's not the assumption that "FM Talk doesn't work," which will probably be the conclusion for a lot of people. The story's more complicated than that. But I also hope that someone comes to the realization that the opportunity is for something aimed a little higher, something that's more adult (in the mature sense, not the Vivid Video sense) and less guys-talking-about-nothing. It can work. In some markets and for some shows, it IS working. And there are lessons to be learned from the success stories, but I fear that in the current controversy-shy climate, it's not going to matter much, not in the short term, anyway. Let's see, controversy and expense for long-term gain, or a cheap music format for short-term profitability- which would a company rather show to Wall Street? Patience is a virtue that isn't in great supply in radio management right now. For radio's sake, I hope that some of the steady, growing, strong shows and stations spawn a healthier wave of new stations willing to take a shot at something that can't be replicated by an iPod. But it might take a while.

Second, once again, this week's "American Idol" reminded me of how hard it is to talk about things about which you may not care but about which your audience cares a lot. Even with a smaller audience this year, "Idol" was watched by a huge number of people, and you have to at least nod at it the following morning. You don't have to LIKE it. But know who won, know what happened on the show, know of what to make fun- hey, it was likely your last shot at Sanjaya!- and at least just let your audience know that you're aware of it. Think of it as what you'd end up talking about at work, if you were working in a cubicle farm. It's what the people around you would be chattering about, so you'd want to be part of that conversation, even if only to say "it sucked" or "it's proof of the decline of Western civilization." Besides, I KNOW you probably watched every minute of it. (This brings to mind Ignatius J. Reilly watching "American Bandstand" in the novel "A Confederacy of Dunces," which you not only should have read several times since high school, but by now should have committed to memory. No, I'm not going to explain the reference. Go read it)

All right, time for the plug, and I'll keep this shorter than usual, too, because I want to get this week over with: go to "Talk Topics" at All Access News-Talk-Sports, your best choice for show prep, where you'll find items about pit bulls, "Star Wars," expensive real estate, war polls, underwear-filled punching bags, the difference between dogs and coyotes, styrofoam bans, retail skullduggery, "get off my lawn!," real snakes on a plane, a really huge flag, the 60 year old who gave birth to twins, the gas price tipping point, a taser to the nuts, more underwear madness, car keys vs, cell phones, Heidi Klum's body parts, why flying this summer may not be all that pleasant, what Mick Jagger and "Smilin' Bob" don't have in common, a bad day at Disney World, plus get to know one of North America's top talkers in "10 Questions With..." CFRB/Toronto morning man Bill Carroll, check the Talent Toolkit to bookmark indispensable sites on the business of baseball, and peruse the rest of All Access with Net News (the first, by the way, with confirmed news and details of this week's format flips, as usual), message boards, the Industry Directory, Mediabase charts in case your station flipped to a music format, and much more, all free.

Enough. Go have a great long weekend. Make my burger well done. Where's the cold beer?

Apparently, Jordin won. I say "apparently" because it won't air out here until 8 pm Pacific. Which one was she again? They all blur together.

Seriously, if you told me six years ago that it would be all downhill from Kelly Clarkson- Jennifer Hudson notwithstanding- I would have laughed. But it's not that funny, is it?

OK, back to not caring.

I'M SO TIRE-D

What's my excuse tonight? I spent hours at America's freakin' Tire replacing a bald tire and getting a nasty screw removed from another. That would normally take maybe a half hour; today, 2 hours. So I'm behind on work and frazzled and the Slingbox died and I've had enough.

(Oh, OK, I just want to get done so I can see who won "Idol.")

(Just kidding)

(Really. I don't care.)

(Stop it. I don't even know who the finalists are.)

(I'm warning you.)

(Think Jordin can take it, or will the mouth-sounds guy win?)

Welcome, listeners of Deminski and Doyle on WKRK (Live 97.1 Free FM)/Detroit, on which I made a guest appearance today. Between the "y'knows," I hope I entertained y'all with a little hockey humor. Speaking of which, here are a few scans especially for you:

Remember these guys?

Yes, Detroit had a WHA franchise, the Michigan Stags. They started as the Los Angeles Sharks, but moved to Cobo Arena for 1974-75. Hockey in Detroit seemed like a no-brainer, but the Stags didn't make it through January- they went belly-up and were moved, sort of, to Baltimore as the Baltimore Blades for the rest of the season. (Those kind of things happened in the WHA, where the New York Golden Blades finished the second WHA season as the Jersey Knights, and the Denver Spurs hastily moved in mid-season to Ottawa as the Civics and lasted a whole two weeks there before giving it up) The Stags had a few familiar names like Gerry Desjardins and Marc Tardif, but they didn't make it.

At that same time, the "real" local hockey team, well, sucked:

This was the end of the "darkness with Harkness," the years under first coach, then GM Ned Harkness, a college coach who didn't cut it in the NHL. The cover-boys are Mickey Redmond, the one consistent star the Wings had in those days (although Marcel Dionne also emerged before really becoming a star in L.A.), and Alex Delvecchio, who showed up on the cover the next season:

The Wings fired Ted Garvin after a month of the previous season and named Delvecchio coach, then fired Harkness later in that season and named him GM, too. That didn't work out all that well, so by the next season...

...they named Doug Barkley coach and kept Delvecchio as GM. Delvecchio traded Dionne and Bart Crashley to L.A. for Dan Maloney, Terry Harper, and a draft pick. That... didn't work out. Things continued not to work out until Stevie Y showed up, but you know that now.

In these media guides, there's a weaselly lawyer pictured among the front office staff:

Wonder whatever happened to him?

But the best thing about those dark years for Detroit hockey was this:

They absolutely don't make arenas like the Olympia anymore. For one thing, they all kinda look alike, or at least look like nothing special- the Ducks' Honda Center, which is quite a nice facility, still to me looks like it could be a Nordstrom's attached to South Coast Plaza. Staples Center kinda looks like most other late-90s-early-2000s indoor arenas. We won't even talk about what replaced the Olympia. But what's cooler, this...

...or this?

Out here, you get this...

...which is quite nice. But hockey should be played in a cold, musty, drafty barn. Maybe that's why I don't care as much anymore.

IT'S DUCK SEASON? REALLY?

Google Maps says that it's a 44.8 mile drive between my house and Honda Center, where the Anaheim Ducks will play game 6 of the NHL Western Conference finals against Detroit tomorrow night, but they take you the long way- cut through Long Beach and it's closer to 35 miles straight east. Either way, the Ducks are close by. The games are covered in the local papers, every game is on the radio, every game is either on channel 56, FSN Prime Ticket, or Versus. We're close enough that it's a common occurrence for us to do our shopping at the mall a few minutes down State College Boulevard from the arena.

We did that last Saturday. We spent the afternoon at the Block at Orange, where we saw several people walking around in Angels garb, and a few in Dodgers jersey. Kiosks sold Angels and Dodgers and Lakers and USC caps.

The Ducks?

Who?

And that's where hockey stands right now. I feel sorry for Detroit in a way, because you know a lot more people there actually care whether the Red Wings make it to the Stanley Cup finals, and nobody here cares even a little bit. Correction: about 18,000 people care, a little over 17,000 of whom will pack Honda Center yet again for the game on Tuesday night. But apart from a few bus shelter ads for Ducks season tickets (left over from early in the season), there's no excitement. The sports talk radio stations aren't buzzing over the Ducks- you're more likely to hear Lakers discussions, and the Lakers got booted from the NBA playoffs in the first round. There's coverage in the Times and the Daily Breeze and, of course, the Register, but I don't see anyone walking around wearing a Ducks jersey and I don't see the guaranteed sign of interest in Southern California, those stupid fan flags hooked to the roof of cars. You'll see Lakers flags and Dodgers and Angels flags and, yes, even Raiders flags, but the Ducks don't get that love.

Meanwhile, Detroit cares. It cares not as much as it used to care- the number of available seats throughout the playoffs has been surprising- but fans in Michigan want the Wings to win, they wear the Winged Wheel, they watch the games on TV (when they can find Versus) and listen on the radio and they know the players, all of them. It's Hockeytown still, Hockeytown always, and they face elimination by the team from, er, Not-Hockeytown. West Disneytown, maybe. Angel City. Garden Grove-adjacent. But it's not Detroit. I'd say people around here might be able to name two or three Ducks- Pronger, Selanne, maybe Giguere- but I think that's generous. I doubt most people can name one. And the Ducks, right now, are closer to reaching the finals than the team from the city that cares.

I can empathize with Detroiters right now. I'm a Philadelphia sports fan, and Philadelphia sports history is a litany of being beaten by teams from cities that care a lot less then we do. The Phillies spent a decade looking up in the standings at the Atlanta Braves- Atlanta!- and still do. The Flyers haven't won the Cup in decades, while the Devils (motto: "Plenty of Good Seats Still Available!") have three. You know how long it's been since the Sixers won the NBA- 1983, in case you don't- and there's no way to describe how it feels that the Eagles haven't won the NFL title since 1960 and haven't ever won the Super Bowl while the Tampa Bay Bucs have. That's all just wrong.

But that's how it breaks. And that's why I feel for Detroit. The Wings have had relatively recent success, of course- the '02 Cup- but, still, they care there, and, here, you wouldn't know the series is happening. Life's unfair.

LINE FORMS TO THE RIGHT

So I'm running along my usual route and I see a sign for a wedding. At one entrance to the place, there's this:

But at the other entrance, there's this:

Yeah, I was never fond of her, either.

SHOES FOR INDUSTRY

The amazing thing about the Internet is that years of development and research and billions of dollars have gone into creating an incredible technology which allows someone like me to tell the entire world- instantaneously- that, today, I bought shoes.

Two pairs, actually- both Skechers. High-top canvas Chucks are fine for every day- I've worn them daily since about 1965- but, sometimes, you gotta go with the leather. I have dress shoes, but I tend to need business-casual more than suit shoes, so... um, why am I even telling you this? I bought shoes. That is all.

It's Saturday. What else do you want from me?

I'm sorry- it's been a long week and I'm fried, so nothing original today. But here's a great link to possibly the best MySpace page ever: Forgotten Flintstones (with thanks to Cartoon Brew for the link). All you need to know is that it links to separate MySpace pages for every obscure character or alias on the show, from Rock Roll to 88 Fingers Louie (the "Happy Anniversary" episode piano "dealer") to Charlie and Irving ("Here we come on the run with a burger on a bun") to the legendary Rock Quarry ("I AM Rock Quarry!"- the best impression Anthony Cumia will ever do). Plus Wednesday Tuesday ("or is it Tuesday Wednesday?") and Alvin Brickrock (voiced by old KFWB jock Elliott Field doing his best Hitchcock impression) and Fred as Hi-Fye (singing "Listen To the Rockin' Bird") and Hot Lips Hannigan ("Scoobily Ooh Wow Wow Wow... Contact!")...

...but no Joe Rockhead. An unforgiveable omission. Joe Rockhead rules.

This week's All Access newsletter is all about how we just can't get along anymore, or something like that:

This week, let's discuss civility in our society. But first, let's check the mailbag. Oh, look, someone disagrees with my opinion on the need to support talent's freedom to take chances with edgy material.

Let's see... "what kind of creep are you to be married to..."

Oh, my.

"You are completely clueless... There is no doubt that your level of maturity is equal to that of Opie and Anthony. You're probably the Beavis and Butthead of your office, snickering when you say damn or Hell, like you're getting away with something. Grow up, junior.... I've evidently been wasting my time trying to communicate with either a moron, a simpleton, an immature and clueless clodhead or just someone who has their head so far up radio's butt that they've lost all possibilities of reasoning and comprehension...."

So what you're saying is that you respectfully disagree?

This stuff doesn't bother me, because I've been called far worse, but when I received this individual's diatribe- one of several increasingly abusive missives- it reminded me of discussions I've had about what people perceive as the disappearance of civility in society, and talk radio's role in the coarsening of America. Are we in radio responsible in part for people's inability to disagree with each other without screaming invective?

First, let's be honest- not only has talk radio always involved some measure of confrontation, it's been worse in the past. Remember Joe Pyne ("go gargle with razor blades!")? Bob Grant ("Get off my phone, you creep!")? When was the last time you heard a major talk host scream at callers? Hang up on them, maybe, but screaming? Not lately.

And I don't think talk radio is the sole, or even largest, contributor to today's tendency for people to, um, yell a lot and hit below the belt. You get more of that on the Net, where it's anonymous (like calling in on a talk radio show) and mostly unmoderated (unlike talk radio). I think the political parties encourage it, too, and the mainstream news media's "gotcha" habit feeds the baser instincts of the True Believers. It's coarser out there, for sure.

But while I don't think talk radio is the reason for that condition, commercial talk radio has never been a place for sober, even-handed discourse on current events. That's because it's an entertainment medium more than anything else, and sober, even-handed discourse just ain't all that entertaining. If you find yourself saying something in the manner of "some people think this, others think that... what do YOU think?," you're doing it wrong. You SHOULD come out with your own opinion and let callers challenge you. In fact, you should HOPE they come after you with flames coming out of their mouths. Disagreement- conflict- makes better radio. There's nothing less interesting than a host without an opinion.

So have an opinion. Forcefully and entertainingly let listeners know what you think. And while it's a nice ego massage when everyone agrees, remember that when you get someone who thinks you're... what were those words? Oh, yeah, "a moron, a simpleton, an immature and clueless clodhead"... well, that's entertainment.

But leave it on the air. In real life, argue like that and you're arguing like a second grader. Name-calling and ad hominem attacks never work.

Unless you're a candidate for elective office, in which case it's the only way to go.

All right, now, before we go to the plugs, I do want to thank you once again for your support of the Revlon Run/Walk for Women. Fran and I did the walk on Saturday, and it was pretty spectacular. (You can see pictures, including cameo appearances by Jessica Alba, Eva Mendes, Michael Chiklis, Sheryl Crow, Fran Drescher, and Felix the Cat, at http://www.pmsimon.com/archives/week_2007_05_06.html#001791) And there's still time to make a tax-deductible donation, too- just go to https://www.revlonrunwalk.com/la/secure/MyWebPage.cfm?pID=365992 to donate by credit card or send a check payable to "Revlon Run/Walk for Women" to Perry Michael Simon, P.O. Box 3904, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 90274. And once again, thank you for your generosity.

Okay, now, the plug: For all your show prep needs, go to All Access News-Talk-Sports' Talk Topics column, where you'll find much material for your talking and arguing and screaming pleasure, such as the relative wealth of the presidential contenders (hint: they're considerably richer than you), the luxurious way to rob a bank, why rabid bats don't make the best school pets, why people are upset over a (Spider-Man's girlfriend) Mary Jane doll, how not to teach a toddler to bite, a creative use of Vegemite, new hope for baldness (just as baldness reaches new heights of fashionability), evidence that changing all those stores' names to "Macy's" may not have been such a good idea after all, the World's Oldest League Bowler, more R. Kelly delusions, a refreshing drink of hand sanitizer, the return of the naked people to Brattleboro, Vermont, a French Fry Taste Test, TWO stories involving sponges left inside surgery patients, a $107 steak, a blind guy who wants a gun permit, David Faustino in crisis, and a woman achieving worldwide fame and success by burping on YouTube. Don't forget to check out "10 Questions With..." WLS/Chicago afternoon superstar Roe Conn and then head on over to the rest of All Access where you'll find the latest industry news- first, fastest, most accurate- at Net News, message boards, the amazing searchable Industry Directory, Mediabase charts, and much more, all free and updated pretty much all the time, so come back several times every day and you'll always find something new.

Next week: I try to come up with more ways to incorporate the phrase "immature and clueless clodhead" into everything I write. "Clodhead"- that's a new one.

"STAR TREK" FROM THE RUMBLE SEAT

From December, 1979:

The "Star Trek" movie was finally here! And I was there!

By "there" I mean I saw it on opening night in Philadelphia. I was never a Trekkie- in fact, I really never watched the show, not in first-run or the incessant reruns on channel 48 or channel 11. I knew Kirk, and Spock, and Bones and Scotty and Chekhov and Sulu and Uhuru, and I knew the general idea and the Greatest Hits- Tribbles and Kirk's overacting and Scotty's panic and Spock's "illogical." But I didn't LIKE it much.

So why was I, a college sophomore at the time, standing and shivering in a two-block-long queue outside the old Fox Theater at 16th and Market Streets waiting patiently for my turn to see the Great Epic? Because I was bored. Because I had nothing better to do (exams? Hah! I spit on exams! I had all term paper classes anyway). Because some guys from school were going and I figured it was better than anything else I was likely to be doing that evening. Because, well, maybe it would turn out to be good.

I don't remember, frankly, if it was good or not. What I remember is seeing channel 10 show up with a camera crew to interview the obviously unbalanced geeks standing on the sidewalk in Trek regalia. I remember seeing Irv Cross- at the time co-host of "The NFL Today," the CBS pre-game show- walk by in an overcoat, glancing at the line with a puzzled expression. I remember getting crammed into the big, grand, weathered old theater- it was torn down after the "Star Trek" run, although I believe someone rented it for a four-wall run before the wrecking ball hit- and I remember sitting in a back row and feeling the Market-Frankford Line subway rumble beneath me (Sensurround!).

But I don't remember the movie.

THE CHOICE OF A NEW GENERATION

Another long work day. I'm just wrapping up. I could give you a long treatise on the Opie and Anthony suspension, or scan in some stuff from old TV Guides with nostalgic yet sardonic commentary, or I could just go into the living room and catch some basketball or play on the Wii.

Hmm.

Bye.

WORLD OF CHEESY TV GRAPHICS

No time, no energy, no.

More cheesy old TV graphics from the mid-1970s. Kids, this is what TV looked like before you were born- blurry graphics,
"groovy" production music.

In this one, look for a pre-DC101 WWDC-AM-FM commercial, a Lucy promo from the old WCIX Miami (TV6, UHF 33), the original MacNeil/Lehrer Report opening,

In this one, you get a WTFM New York ad, WBAL, WCAU, KCET, NBC's Grandstand, and, even, briefly, the 1970's Madison Square Garden Sports hockey opening:

I love this stuff. This guy has some great video clips posted.

I KEEK THE BALL

It's late, and while I COULD tell you all about my evening on Saturday watching a soccer match in the company of, among other fine people, a Famous TV Celebrity, I will not do so, other than to warn anyone attending an event at the Home Depot Center not to enter the parking areas from the south entrance, lest you, like me, be ordered to pay $15 to park somewhere near Guatemala and have the World's Longest Walk From An Authorized Lot To A Sporting Venue. Really, it was a long way,

I'd rather you read the entry from Saturday and look at the pictures and click the box to the right that lets you donate to the Revlon Run/Walk. You can still do it. So do it.

Thanks.

SURVIVOR: FIGUEROA STREET

We did the Revlon Run/Walk for Women today. Yes, we finished. No, we weren't last, not by a long shot.

We got to the Coliseum at about 6:15 am and we were far from the first people to show up- the parking close to the stadium filled up in minutes. We browsed the booths, Fran got her survivor's cap, and then we went to the stage, where they did the opening ceremonies. After a mildly embarrassing but mercifully short aerobics session (to the tune of- OK, just take a guess- yes, "I Will SUrvive"), we had the National Anthem:

I have no idea who he is.

Everybody knows who this is:

Fran Drescher's doing the Post-Cancer Circuit now. She showed up and pushed her CancerSchmancer.org website for early detection. Good for her. As long as she doesn't make another painful sitcom. Her speech was heartfelt and stirring and entirely spontaneous, except that...

...it wasn't. The prompter was right over our shoulder. Busted!

The Nanny was then joined on stage by the event's celebrity hosts:

Ol' One-TP-square and Vic Mackey on the big screen. Sheryl Crow, for some reason, didn't sing- she just showed up, talked for a short time...

...and that was it from her. Next to me, two young girls who work for Macy's had this conversation:

"Who's that?"

"Um... It says Sheryl Crow."

"Who?"

"I don't know, she sings... where's Mandy Moore?"

"I think she's later. The guy... oh, they said he's in 'Fantastic Four.'"

"Oh, yeah... I know who he is now."

Such is fame. You can be a nine time Grammy winner and gossip column regular, and you don't have to leave L.A. to find more than one person who has no idea who you are.

The Thing... er, Michael Chiklis also spoke...

...and did a good job, although it was unclear why he was the host- he only spoke in generalities, not as someone dealing with the disease in a more immediate manner. And then the Revlon Spokesmodels showed up...

...Beau Garrett, Jessica Alba, and Eva Mendes. The first two are in "Fantastic Four: Rise Of the Silver Surfer." This explains Chiklis, who's also in the movie. Yeah, they're using a cancer fundraiser to promote a movie. That's okay- they're bringing in money for the cause. Finally, the big star of the morning...

I'll admit right here that I have no memory of any Mandy Moore songs. I know she's a singer, I've seen her on "Scrubs," but I have no idea what her songs are. I heard her this morning and I STILL don't.

We drifted off towards the starting line, pausing momentarily to watch them light the Olympic torch atop the peristyle end of the Coliseum:

And then we joined the queue on Figueroa Street inching towards the starting line...

Alongside me, of course, was My Hero, the Star of the morning, resplendent in her survivor's cap:

And we're off:

That plane is always parked there at a museum, in case you thought we'd strayed towards LAX or something.

Scenery along the way: the skyline, obscured by morning haze and the picturesque Popeye's and Mobil:

Shrine Auditorium:

USC's new Galen Center arena:

And the best landmark of all, Felix Chevrolet:

This place was along the way, although most of the folks in the walk would suggest more than just prayer to deal with cancer:

Hey, this guy's not registered! Where's his number bib?:

Finally, with paydirt in sight...

...my camera battery ran out. F. F!!! I had to make do with my Treo camera instead, which isn't quite the same. But we pressed on, heading down the fabled tunnel- the same tunnel through which generations of the world's greatest athletes passed, the tunnel Roy Campanella was wheeled through on May 7, 1959 in fromt of 93.103 fans holding up lights, the tunnel used by the stars of two modern Olympics...

...and we crossed the finish line holding hands, arms raised in triumph, because, well, if you're going to cross a finish line in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, that's what you do. And here's the Champion of All Time, one year after surgery:

No, as a matter of fact, I could NOT be any more proud of anyone or anything. That beaming face says everything.

Thank you to the many people who responded to my incessant trolling for donations both here and through All Access. Your generosity made this walk even more special- we were walking not just for Fran but for all of you, all of your loved ones and friends who have battled cancer, everyone who has had to carry that burden. With that kind of purpose and your support, this walk was a piece of cake. Maybe next year, I'll run it. But I really loved sharing it with Fran- every time I looked over at her and felt the emotion well up, it made the day that much more meaningful.

You can still, by the way, donate- use this link for the next week or two, or send checks payable to "Revlon Run/Walk for Women" (put Bib Number 22179 on the memo line, please) to Perry Michael Simon, P.O. Box 3904, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 90274 and I'll get them in. And thank you for helping make today one of the more special days of Fran's life, and mine, too.

This week's "The Letter" newsletter for All Access hits a bunch of half-formed topics, because I spent way too much time yesterday replacing a dead router:

I had a version of this Letter kinda planned out in my head, but then my router decided to die and I had to spend much of Thursday on computer issues, so instead of the originally-planned version, I'll do a few short items and we'll all go off to the weekend happy, okay? Great. But first...

1. One last time before the Revlon Run/Walk, I'm gonna... well, actually, I'm gonna send you to a front page article in our local paper about my wife Fran. It's here: http://www.pvnews.com/articles/2007/05/10/local_news/news4.txt. It explains why I've been such a pain in the butt trolling for donations for the last several weeks in a manner far better than I can muster. If you can't stand me, do it for her. We're walking on Saturday morning, and we appreciate your generosity. Just go to https://www.revlonrunwalk.com/la/secure/MyWebPage.cfm?pID=365992 to donate by credit card, or send a check payable to Revlon Run/Walk for Women with Bib Number 22179 on the memo line to Perry Michael Simon, P.O. Box 3904, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 90274. Thank you.

2. Let's just get it over with now, shall we? Suspend everyone. Every talk show host, every morning host, everyone who does more than read liner cards on "your station for the best of the 80's, 90's, and today"- suspended. And their producers, too. Suspend 'em all, and let's just play music. But none of that offensive hip-hop, of course, or anything else that someone might not like. Clear the decks. Nothing but "lite 'n' easy favorites." That'll keep the pressure groups and the internet "gotcha" types and the Congress and the FCC happy. No controversy, no rudeness, nothing that can be taken out of context and used against us. Of course, we'll have no listeners left, but imagine life without complaint calls! (Somewhere, a General Manager is fantasizing about exactly that)

3. What frozen yogurt and programming radio have in common: There's this frozen yogurt stand in L.A. that has people going nuts, standing in hour-long queues to get a cup of the stuff. Celebrities, "regular" people, everyone is flocking to this place. They opened up a branch near me, and we stopped by out of curiosity to see what the fuss was about. There was a long line, but the counter people offered us a taste. And it was... awful. Horrible. Sour, unpleasant... it tasted like, well, sweat. I felt like the kid in "The Emperor's New Clothes"- didn't anyone else notice that the stuff is horrific? No, they were too invested in the idea that the stuff HAS to be good because Paris Hilton and Kirsten Dunst were seen at the West Hollywood branch, and they wouldn't be seen in just any TCBY. And what does this have to do with radio? Simply that it's too easy for a PD to hire a talent or pick up a syndicated show based on what some other station's done or what they hear from others. I know this goes on- I've heard of hosts who got jobs and even syndication deals because someone in a big market made a recommendation or there were big call letters on the resume or the consultant said "this is the guy you want," but, um, the quality wasn't there. What I'm saying here is that sometimes you'll listen to a potential hire that's been recommended, who's on big stations you respect, and you'll listen and think, geez, I don't hear it. And you may doubt yourself. Don't. It's your job as a programmer to know what you want your station to sound like. And if you don't hear it, it's probably not right for your station, no matter what someone else thinks. The regrets I have about programming decisions all involve times when I let someone talk me into something that I didn't think was the right way to go. Go with your gut.

Okay, now, on to the plug. You know by now about All Access News-Talk-Sports and the Talk Topics show prep column, and what you'll find there this week includes why I won't be putting a deposit down on the Smart car anytime soon, what every Mom wants for Mother's Day, the Boston Pops brawl, why ordering fish in a restaurant is an adventure into the Great Unknown, an examination of what makes Bob Barker, um, Bob Barker, why frat boys and Cinco de Mayo don't mix, why toddlers and pit bulls don't mix, why bicycles and cell phones don't mix, why pogo sticks and nutjobs on drugs don't mix, why pennies and McDonald's don't always mix, plus a whole inexplicable newspaper feature on artificial dog testicles and much, much more, updated multiple times daily. There's also "10 questions With..." Sporting News Radio host David Stein and the rest of All Access: Net News, Net Talk, Net... er, the Industry Directory, Mediabase charts, and everything else you need to be up to date with the radio and music industries, all free, because we're generous that way.

And one more time, thanks for supporting Fran and me in Saturday's event. We appreciate every contribution and good thought. Now, it's time to walk- have a great weekend.

FRAN'S TURN

I've only briefly explained to you why we're walking in the Revlon Run/Walk Saturday, but there's a front-page article in today's Palos Verdes Peninsula News that tells it from a different perspective- it's all about my wife Fran and her battle with breast cancer over the past year and a half. This morning, knowing it would be in the paper, I couldn't restrain my excitement- I ran out at 5 am and drove up to the Starbucks where they have an honor box, and I picked up a copy hot off the press and raced home to wake Fran up with it, comparing her beaming face in the paper with her drowsy grin as she awoke to my babbling.

The article's great- inspiring as hell- and I could not possibly be prouder of anybody or anything than I am to see Fran's story right there on page 1.

Wanna read it? I hope you do. Click here. That's a shadow over her head, not antlers. I stand by the quotes attributed to me, although please feel free to ignore the stated age.

And once you're done, go to https://www.revlonrunwalk.com/la/secure/MyWebPage.cfm?pID=365992 and donate if you haven't yet done so. Do it for Fran and everyone else who's been faced with cancer.

And now, as Mr. Harvey would say, you know... the rest of the story.

RANDOM TELEVISION

Because I'm lazy tonight, here's some stuff other people have posted on YouTube:

A game show from about 47 years ago on local Winnipeg television, "Lucky Seven"- it doesn't get much more low-tech than this:

Irene Ryan- Granny!- taping a promo for WTAR-TV Norfolk in 1967:

Totally useless but cool to a geek like me interested in TV graphics and logos: part 1 of a 1995 presentation of CBS affiliate logos for an affiliate meeting- it's actually a lot like the videos they project on screens before the main speeches and luncheons at the NAB convention in Vegas:

And part 2:

News the 1950s way, the "Esso Reporter" at WTOP-TV Washington:

A rare sign-off from the late, lamented WKBS-TV Philadelphia:

And a sales tape from WKBS' owner, Field COmmunications (with production music I remember- a sort-of knock-off of "The Hustle" in parts)- lots of irrelevant statistics, but some great one-of-a-kind logos and IDs, including the original WFLD Chicago logl and the "Happy Days Again" syndication opening credits. Oh, and it has the clip of Darryl Dawkins shattering the backboard in Kansas City. Plus "Snipets." Here's part one:

And part two, with "Battlestar Galactica" promos, shots of print ads, and more, including a "brand-new Chrysler K-Car":

Yes, I'm a geek. A lazy, trivia-absorbing geek. Sorry.

Remember this guy?

When I was a kid, Alan Burke was a household name in the New York area. He was considered a fire-breathing maniac. He followed in the footsteps of Joe Pyne- confrontational, conservative, loud- and had a TV show just like Pyne's, too, or Wally George or Morton Downey Jr. later on, with weirdos and outcasts and fringies as guests just to let Burke knock them around a little. The original show was on channel 5 in New York in 1966-69, and then came the show in this ad, when Burke was a weekend anchor on WPIX, in 1974. He was also on WCAU in Philadelphia in the 1970s, and that's when I lost track. Google him and you won't find much- this sketchy Wikipedia entry isn't much help, but this Hollywood.com page has a little more. I wondered where he'd gone- apparently, he died in '92, and he's been pretty much forgotten. But he was a big name at one point. And his son is this guy.

I'd never seen anything on "Alan Burke's New York" on the Net. Nothing in Google. So here it is, for the record- for a short time in the 1970's, Alan Burke came back. And thus, it exists again.

(I think the voice in this audio clip from WBT Charlotte during World War II, identifying as Alan Burke, is the same Alan Burke- he worked in the Carolinas for years before coming to New York, and he'd have been in his 20s at the time; thanks to btmemories.com)

I'LL ALWAYS LOVE MY MAMA- REPRISE

May 7 was Mom's birthday. But I've written all about Mom before, all I know, anyway, since so much of her life was hazy to us- the childhood hidden from the Nazis, the lost family members, the move to America. It's weird, because I want to keep her memory alive, but a lot of her history was obscured, and she preferred it to be that way.

But she was a great mother despite the mystery. She took care of us, loved us, was there for us every step of the way until she ran out of time almost 13 years ago. May was special for us because her birthday was so close to Mother's Day, and we got to celebrate her twice within, sometimes, a week. I'd have gotten her a big honking box of See's Candies, maybe a piece of jewelry or a gift certificate at one of her favorite stores, and she would be complaining now, telling me I shouldn't have and she didn't want or need anything, but I'd ignore it because I knew she loved it and me anyway.

Her name was Phyllis Simon, born Fela Berlinsky and anglicized to Phyllis Silverman when she came to America and joined up with her relatives in New Jersey. She was a wonderful person. I miss her still. If you knew her and Googled the name to see if anyone out there remembers, oh, boy, do I remember. And every year, I'll remember again right here. Happy birthday, Mom.

GLOOMY SUNDAY

Well, that sucked.

Sunday, that is.

Sewer problem, still unfinished, thousands of dollars of repairs ahead.

Work all day.

Blisters on my right hand.

"The Sopranos" continues to move forward at a glacial pace.

Still waiting on several people to make donations to this. (And if that includes you, sponsor me and donate already- time's running out)

Why, no, I'm not having a good day. And, like drunk dialing, angry writing is never a good idea. So I'll stop now.

VARIETY SHOW

Today, a special All-Star Episode!

Starring...

Phyllis Diller!

Merle Haggard!

The Voice of God and NFL Films, John Facenda!

And our very special guests, everyone's favorite Mormon singing sensations, the King Family!

(Why, yes, you're right, I didn't feel like writing today- how could you tell?)

This was from 1970, and I actually remember seeing it:

A few years before Mike Nesmith's Nickelodeon proto-MTV show, more than a decade before the actual MTV, after Scopitones had faded from popularity, there was "Music Connection." It showed up on UHF independent stations and filled up a lot of time- the initial version advertised here on WPHL-TV Philadelphia (August 29, 1970) ran six hours- six hours!- on Sundays starting at noon. And here's what it was: "groovy" colors and pictures and silhouettes of women dancing while pop and rock music played. That's it. The ad calls it "a completely different form of television. An innovative breakthrough. And you've never seen anything like it." Um, well, it WAS different. Unwatchably so, but different. Perhaps it would have been better with the assistance of acid, but I remember seeing it in glorious black and white and it was just annoying in a "Blair Witch" motion-sickness way.

But check out the groovy hair and flares. In 1970, that was the height of fashion.

This week's All Access newsletter, after a pitch for the Revlon Run/Walk, has some sage advice for life in general:

In a minute, a brief refresher on how to handle changes in life. But first...

I've been reminding you about this Revlon Run/Walk for women's cancer research in which my wife Fran and I are participating on May 12. That date's fast approaching and I'm hoping that you'll sponsor me and make a donation. It's a great cause, one that's important to us, and I'd love for radio folks to make a good showing. It's easy to donate by credit card- just go to https://www.revlonrunwalk.com/la/secure/MyWebPage.cfm?pID=365992 and look for the donation box and button. Or you can donate by check- make it out to Revlon Run/Walk For Women and you can put Bib Number 22179 on the memo line, attach your name and address, then send it to:

Perry Michael Simon
P.O. Box 3904
Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 90274

...and I'll forward it to Revlon with the proper forms. The web site above has more details if you're interested, or you can e-mail me at psimon@allaccess.com and I'll fill you in. And to those of you who have given already, thank you. It means a lot. (And thanks again to Joel and Ria Denver for allowing me to badger everyone for the cause)

Now, watch how I tie this into radio:

We were on our way to Fran's oncologist for her regular tri-monthly appointment and we were nervous as usual, and Fran said that her support group has a saying for how to handle the dread everyone gets before seeing the doctor. "Wait to worry," they tell each other. No use wasting energy and obsessing if you don't know what's coming and can't do anything about it beforehand anyway. No reason to get a head start in fretting over what's coming since you don't know what it is. And, as it turned out, the appointment turned out to be all good news, so there had been no need for the queasiness and dread. The group was right. Wait to worry.

That's good advice for you, too. Worrying in advance about what the ratings will be won't change what they are, and if they're good, you worried for nothing. Worrying in advance if a topic will work, worrying in advance if that all-hands meeting scheduled for Friday means a format change... it's natural to worry, it's human to worry, but if you can help it, try to be philosophical about it and just relax until there's really something to worry about.

This week, there's been news about more stations being sold, and "wait to worry" is a good way to handle it if you're at one of the stations on the block. You don't really know what's in store, and for all you know things won't change even a little bit, or they may even get a lot better. Or the new owner could send in several large men with baseball bats to escort you off the premises. You don't know yet. Until then, business as usual. Wait to worry.

But then again, it doesn't hurt to keep your options open. Now would be a good time to get your network together, let people know that it's possible you'll be available, look for other radio jobs. We've talked before about how to go about this the best way, networking, calling, applying, networking some more. If your station is one of the hundreds being spun off, you should already be exploring. Not worrying, but just making sure that you're prepared if the new owners decide you're toast.

And while you're at it, it's also a good time to consider whether it might be time to bail from the business. I would hope not- I'd like to believe that there's still plenty of opportunity in radio in general and talk radio in particular- but I recognize that some folks will just decide that it's time to try something else. In that case, I would recommend exploring the opportunities offered by daytime television, specifically the advertising on your finer UHF stations, where you'll find three areas of career advancement:

1. The exciting world of truck driving.
2. Unaccreditied "colleges" in strip malls specializing in court reporting and dental hygenist training.
3. Plaintiff.

Whatever you decide, be confident that things will eventually work out in your favor. They usually do. And even if they don't, you have a long time before things hit the wall. Wait to worry.

Now, watch how I artfully segue into the plug:

There's no need to worry about coming up with topics for your show, either, not while there's plenty of material right now at All Access News-Talk-Sports' Talk Topics column. (Okay, that wasn't artful, but it's all I got) So far this week, you'll find items about why one state wants its residents to have a month's worth of supplies on hand at all times, a school administrator who needs some spelling assistance, why the popularity of alternative fuels is driving up the cost of your milk, how telemarketers are turning the tables on a guy who turned the tables on them, why patrons of one major movie are being warned that it'll make them sick, where you can go to really get away from it all (including running water and electricity), why video resumes may not be the way to go when job seeking, a naked police chase (you'll be relieved to know that the cops were not nude), the Great Digg User Revolt of 2007, a guy who claims to have slept through being stabbed nine times, the gruesome details of the saga of the anchorwoman, the e-mails, the sportscaster, and the sportscaster's wife, naked college students, naked animal rights protestits, naked everybody, and lots of other stuff, plus "10 Questions With..." WYSP (94.1 Free FM) host and longtime Philadelphia mainstay Paul Barsky and the rest of All Access with Net News (first/fastest/best industry coverage), Net Talk (message board of doom), the Industry Directory (everyone in the biz), and much more. And you get it all for free.

Next week: Dunno. I'll think of something. Can't fret about it now. Wait to worry.

NERD BOWL '67

And now, another golden oldie I used to watch:

"It's Academic"! This ad is for the Cleveland version, but there were versions in a bunch of cities, and I grew up watching the New York one with Art James. It was simple- you had two teams of high school geeks competing for their schools. Same deal as "GE College Bowl" for colleges. The questions were a mix of impossible and reasonably difficult. You couldn't get away with it today- too smart, too slow, too low-tech.

But, of course, it lives, in D.C., at least, and Charlottesville and Baltimore. Good old-fashioned dull deadly boring fun for the entire family of whoever was actually appearing on the show that week. But I watched it without fail. Perhaps that's why I have such a stockpile of useless information.

How about that picture, by the way? The guy in the upper left- a sort of proto-Ricky Gervais- is clearly unimpressed and bored to tears, but the rest of the audience is going Beatlemaniacal. The girls' look proves what I've always suspected- they didn't make girls then like they do now. The hair, the clothes... they looked like moms. (It's not the glasses- even goth girls wear nerd glasses nowadays, and they don't look like the girls in this picture) Guys, it's all about timing.

In 1974, everyone had one of these:

Kids today wouldn't know what to do with one of these, but until the PC showed up, this was all we had to, um, type stuff. We had this exact model, in brown, with a dark brown plastic carrying case. "Carrying case" was a misnomer; "lugging case" would have worked better. They were heavy. Really heavy. But lighter than older models, and they prevented one significant problem of those older models: you didn't have to touch the ribbon. Old typewriters made you manually unspool the ribon and slip it behind the guides, leaving your hands a mess, while these modern Coronamatic jobs had cartridges. You shoved the cartridge (kind of gun-shaped, actually) into a slot on the right side of the typewriter, and when you wanted to change colors or, better, when you wanted to "erase" mistakes by typing over the words with a correction ribbon, you just swapped out the cartridges.

In 1974, that was state of the art.

Today, we carry around laptops and rarely even print anything out. But I can understand why some Luddite writers insist on using old typewriters- there's something about the tactile nature of the keys, the slap of key against paper... no, actually, it wasn't that great after all. Keys would get tangled when you went too fast, letters would smear, and there was a sickly ink smell to it all. But if you really miss them, you can always find them on eBay, although shipping will cost you more than the typewriter itself. (Yes, you can still buy ribbons, too) Or you can buy a new model. Me, I'll stick to 2007.

March 2012

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Who?

    Perry Michael Simon. Talk radio guy. Editor of the News-Talk-Sports section at AllAccess.com. Editor and writer at Chris Hardwick's Nerdist.com. Former Program Director, Operations Manager, host, and general nuisance at KLSX/Los Angeles, Y-107/Los Angeles, New Jersey 101.5. Freelance writer on media, sports, pop culture, based somewhere in the Los Angeles area. Contact him here. Copyright 2003-2012 Perry Michael Simon. Yeah.

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