February 2009 Archives

...BAD DAY!

We were out most of the day and came home to the news that Paul Harvey had died. You can't say it was unexpected, considering that he was 90 and in ill health. And I can't say that I'd listened to him for quite some time, not just because he's been off most of the time due to illness and last year's passing of his wife Angel but because, well, I just wasn't listening. But it will be downright weird to think that we'll never hear "Stand by... for NEWS" again. Or "and now you know... the REST... of the story." Or "Paul Harvey... good DAY," with that pause you could drive a truck through. He was just always there, and I suppose there was a general assumption until the last couple of years that he'd kind of always be around.

You can't argue that he wasn't a master of the art of communication. He was so easily parodied because everyone knew his style. It didn't matter how long it was since you'd last heard him, you could imitate him. Everyone can. And you don't last for more than 50 years if you're not really good at what you do. So what if the "page TWO!" ad was obvious and the "rest of the story" schtick got predictable and hokey. It still worked, and it's testament to how good he was at it that he's been very, very hard to replace, even by some very good broadcasters in their own right.

Some people are just singular talents. Paul Harvey was one of those.

This week's All Access newsletter came out of my experience last night, watching the tweets roll in and thinking that it seemed a lot like talk radio:

For years, you've heard the advice: Stop thinking of the other talk station down the dial as your competition. That's not your primary competition. You're competing with everything that takes a potential listener's attention away from you. In the past, that meant TV, newspapers, leisure activities, cell phones, regular phones, iPods, the drive-thru speaker at Jack in the Box, work, sleep, everything. They're still your competition.

But there are a couple now that are a lot closer to direct alternatives, if not replacements, for talk radio itself. I'm thinking here of... well, let me give you an example. On Thursday night Manny Ramirez turned down the Dodgers' latest contract offer. When the news broke, you could have gone to the radio and put on a sports talk show to hear people discuss the situation. But for a lot of people, there are different options that might be in some ways more appealing: Twitter and Facebook. You know about Twitter and Facebook already, and you probably even use them, but it's fascinating how much they can behave like talk radio: Talk radio hosts bring up topics for conversation. So do Facebook and Twitter users. Anyone can call in to a talk show and voice their opinion. They can post comments on Facebook and Twitter, too.

And then there are the differences: On talk radio, the host controls the conversation, and calls are screened. With Facebook and Twitter, anything goes. Talk shows are limited, one caller at a time, one conversation at a time. On Facebook and Twitter, there are so many comments and "conversations" that it's sometimes hard to keep up with them. Unlike talk radio, you can go away and pop back in anytime and not miss a single word. More interesting to me is that the conversations aren't just disembodied voices of people you don't know, but instead are comments from your "friends" and others you choose to follow. If you want to find out what people are thinking about, say, Manny and his contract offer, you post something about it and watch the replies, or you search Twitter and watch the comments fly by in real time. It's addictive, and it is absolutely an alternative to talk radio, even in 140-character bites.

So when Manny was being Manny and the Dodgers sent out that e-mail, I didn't rush to the radio. But I instantly saw the comments start to pop up among the people I follow on Twitter and in status reports on Facebook. And the comments ranged from sharp and knowledgeable to visceral to just plain stupid... just like talk radio comments. These platforms are reaching a lot of people where those people spend their time. If you're a young adult and you're immersed in online social networking, why are you going to go listen to a radio talk show if you can stay where you are, find out what's going on, and get comments and links and stuff from people you know and trust?

Indeed, and that's a question you need to address to get and keep listeners. You need to keep the entertainment value high: It's hard to give a 140 character post the kind of personality and uniqueness that a good talk host can convey on the radio. You need to offer topics and ideas that you can't find from someone's Facebook status line, meaning that you can't just report on what's in the paper -- they can find that anywhere -- but you have to give them more, from information listeners may have missed to analysis and commentary that's purely your own. Your show has to have that can't-miss-a-minute feel and image. And you need to make listeners feel like they're part of the show, not just by letting them call in but by creating a community around yourself so the core audience -- the P1s -- can participate with you and each other and become evangelists for the show. What tools can you use to do that? Why, Facebook and Twitter, of course. I see more and more shows and hosts using social networking to connect with listeners, and that's what you need to do. Look, they're free, so there's no excuse. Plus, when you're stuck for a topic, you can always ask your Facebook "friends" for a hand. Think of them as free associate producers.

Speaking of help when you're stuck for a topic (yes, it's another slick segue into the plug), All Access News-Talk-Sports just happens to offer the Talk Topics show prep column, which is a one-stop shop for material. This week's pile o' fun includes why your toilet tissue preferences make environmentalists angry, International Sword Swallowers Awareness Day, a really tough trek to school, Clint Eastwood's take on comedy, Washington's on-again, off-again infatuation with the mileage tax, a store where everything's free, why not to buy your kid a computer at a pawn shop, the lady with the mermaid tail, how people are bartering and resorting to DIY these days, and so much more on the economy that you'll have it coming out of your ears. Plus, a columnist explaining why Tyler Perry movies are awful, in case you need that information. And we're still plugging away at AllAccess.com to provide you with the industry's best, fastest, and most complete news coverage (with bulletins and headlines now available via Twitter and text messaging), music charts, columns, and resources, all free.

That's all for this week, just in time for me to go take care of some important business. I think someone's posted a new picture of their cat on Facebook. Can't miss that.

STALLED OUT

Wrote a column, or at least most of it. Don't like it. Gonna hold it until tomorrow and see if I like it more then.

It's getting harder and harder to write this newsletter/column thing every week, because there's less and less to say about radio that hasn't already been said over and over. Everybody else writing about radio is repeating himself, and doing the very easy personal attack thing against the guys who run the big radio groups. But that's taking the easy way out, and I'm not going to do that.

What AM I going to do? Damn good question. We'll see tomorrow.

RANTUS INTERRUPTUS

Is it wrong of me not to write anything of substance here for several days? My excuse is that I've been busy and by the time I get a break to write something other than radio coverage and show prep, I'm just not feeling it.

It would be a lot easier if I could just post transcriptions of some of the conversations I have during the day; I had a good one about the California tax revolt-in-the-making and related issues with John today in the wake of a ridiculous James Rainey column in today's L.A. Times trashing John and Ken's show and the whole tax revolt, and another column by Steve "Robert Downey Jr. Plays Me In The Movie" Lopez basically getting at the same idea that you're a moron if you don't just roll over and accept the biggest state tax increase ever. Neither column questions what the money's being spent for; the columnists just assume that the state needs the money and should get it from the taxpayers in a horrible economy. It's astonishing, really, that the Times doesn't have the back of the people who read it.

But it was all said much better on the cell phone this afternoon. Right now, I can only summarize and quit. I really need to renegotiate this time thing; 24 hours a day doesn't cut it anymore. Who's in charge of this now? We need to work this out.

LAISSEZ LES VIEUX TEMPS ROULET

More space filling because it's late. Mardi Gras 1941, in color:

Mardi Gras, 1954:

Nobody got shot at those, I imagine. Even with that, I'd like to go back there one of these days. Not at Mardi Gras, though. Too crowded, too much vomit.

HAPPY PLACE

To fill space, here are a couple of crappy cell phone shots from Saturday evening in Hermosa, when we went out to celebrate Fran's birthday. This is where we ate 'n' drank:

Sharkeez -- technically, Aloha Sharkeez -- is a very popular, loud bar that caters to a diverse crowd, much of which involves frat boys and sorority girls and what they become after they graduate and start to age. It's been cleaned up a lot -- the place burned down a few years ago and was rebuilt and remodeled. But the fish tacos are still great, there's Pyramid Hefeweizen on tap, and there's a flat panel TV with a ball game on it everywhere you look. It's noisy and schlocky -- the decor is what I imagine a low-rent Honolulu bordello would look like -- but it's a half-block from the beach and I could imagine taking a table on the porch and making it my office. It might not do much for my health, but it'd be fun.

And this blurry shot is looking towards the pier from in front of Sharkeez:

Pier and ocean in the distance. There's a branch of Hennessey's Tavern, a local chain of bars, by the pier -- it's the one with the green awning -- and it has an upstairs patio with a wonderful ocean view. I could set up my laptop there, too.

There's nothing classy about Pier Plaza. It's rowdy, noisy, and can get very crowded. Maybe that's why we like it there.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY A VISITING PEAFOWL

Why bother with Oscar commentary when a) I haven't seen any of the movies, and b) the PEAHENS ARE BACK!!!!?

Yeah, I know, I always run out with a camera when the peafowl show up. But these are particularly good; the birds were plodding across our roof and I couldn't resist. Besides, it's Sunday. Pictures of peafowl just seem appropriate.

HAD A HAPPY

Today was Fran's birthday. We had a wonderful day enjoying each other's company, hanging out in Hermosa, walking along the beach. The marking of each successive year has taken on special meaning in the past few years, so each birthday is joyous. We're still here, and that's cause for celebration.

And celebrate we did. And we are doing still, so if you'll excuse me...

WE'LL LEAVE THE LIGHT ON FOR YOU

I have a new favorite television show. I call it "The Nightlight Show."

That's not its real name. In fact, it doesn't have a name. But if you don't have cable or satellite and you don't have a digital TV tuner or converter, you'll be watching this show after stations in your market go all-digital. Hey, look, here it is!:

It, of course, is the video produced by the National Association of Broadcasters to tell you that you should have gone out and gotten a converter. In most markets, once analog television stations shut down, a station or two will stay in analog mode for a month or so (as "nightlight" stations), just playing that video over and over and over and over and....

...and wait a minute. A month or so? How many days do they really have to play this thing? If this is the only thing on TV for, say, one evening, isn't that enough to send the message? On day 21, is there anyone who's going to be flipping on the TV, seeing this, and thinking "gee, this show seems familiar. I wonder why 'Two And a Half Men' isn't on"? I'd think that a week would be more than enough, but, then again, people still watch "Access Hollywood" and professional wrestling, so it's possible that this might be received as a welcome diversion.

It is for me. There's something oddly mesmerizing about the video, which comes in English and Spanish flavors (with open captioning in both) and steps viewers through the stuff that's in the manual for the converter or TV set. The odd lamp behind the host, the highly educational visuals showing how to plug a power cord into a wall outlet, the exasperated older couple discovering that they can't get their favorite channel (undoubtedly CBS), the intense, unblinking stare of the host, the happy couples watching a TV show about, er, a boat... the cumulative effect is like those loops of tourist information they play on hotel televisions, dull, lifeless, yet mesmerizing and oddly comforting. Maybe after a few weeks, it'll be like an old friend, there for you when "regular" television fails you.

Besides, it may not be Emmy material, but if it's a choice between this and "Howie Do It," I'm taking the nightlight. I'm pretty sure it'll kill off fewer brain cells.

This week's All Access newsletter, as previewed yesterday, deals tangentially with the end of KLSX and, by extension, the future:

All right, we've discussed in the past how talk and personality radio is the one unique thing the radio industry has to offer in an age of intense competition from new media.

And then there's another fact: Management looks at local talk programming in most markets as prohibitively expensive.

It's 2009 and we're in a deep recession. Which fact do you think will dominate the way the industry proceeds in the foreseeable future?

So this week's demise of the talk format at my old station, KLSX in Los Angeles, and all the layoffs in recent months probably won't be the last of the bloodletting. I'm still hopeful -- confident, actually -- that as the media industry in general recovers and adapts to new technological and financial realities, the kind of content produced by talk radio will recover and adapt as well. That day may not come for a while, but I'd rather be positive about it than assume it'll never happen.

In the meantime, a couple of thoughts:

1. I keep reading about the death of "FM Talk" as a format. It's not a format, and talk on FM is alive in many forms, from your garden-variety political talk that happens to be on FM to stations that do the same kind of "guy talk" that KLSX was doing. Some are quite successful and lucrative, even with those payrolls. Add to that the success of sports stations on FM, and the fact that many morning shows on music stations happen to be talk shows, and... there's hope.

2. That being said, I hope that there'll be room for stations that don't just rip and read out of Maxim magazine because that's what young guys like. I know the Mencken quote about nobody ever going broke underestimating the taste of the American public, and I admit to enjoying crude humor as much as the next guy, but, still, there's a large audience for talk that's both funny and not stupid or sex-obsessed. At least, I'd like to think so.

Anyway, if you're among those who got the ax in recent months, I wish you well. Have faith in yourself and confidence in your abilities, however they may end up being deployed in the future. It may look a little different, but there WILL be a future.

For those of you presently employed, on the other hand, there's the matter of getting material for your show, which is a lot easier if you regularly consult All Access News-Talk-Sports and the Talk Topics show prep column. This week's items include why college students are arguing more about their grades, new frontiers in head lice, how one person cutting in line at the supermarket led to another person's death, why you're getting less ketchup at the drive-thru these days, a particularly disgusting drug smuggling attempt, lots about the chimp attack, identity theft in baseball, people getting rewarded for stupid behavior, and much more, including plenty of depressing economic news (and a little good news here and there, too). "10 Questions With..." "Recovery Radio Live" host and music industry player Ricky Leigh Mensh is on tap as well, along with the rest of All Access with the usual complete industry coverage and more resources for radio and music folks than any other source, period, all free.

Look: I made it to the end of an entire column about talk radio without a single mention of the "Fairness Doctrine." Something tells me that it'll come up again sometime soon.

97.DONE

The folks at CBS Radio killed off KLSX Los Angeles today. It'll linger until Friday, but it's over, and as one of the founding fathers of the talk incarnation of the station and of the "FM Talk" format, whatever that is, I'm feeling... you know, I'm not sure WHAT I feel. It's mixed. The station was never what I wanted it to be, but it got me to L.A., and I made some lasting friendships and built strong relationships and... on the other hand... ah, well, I might want to write about it in "The Letter" this week, so I'll save it.

It was inevitable that the station would go away, at least since Howard Stern left. They'd adopted the Stern identity so strongly that they really couldn't survive without him, and... but, again, I might want to save this for tomorrow. It's going to be difficult not to project a sour grapes attitude, but, really, I'm happier not being there than I was programming the place, so there's no reason to be resentful.

Still, it could have been... it should have been...

PUSH THE BUTTON, FRANK

Another long, busy day. I have a feeling that the whole week will be like this, meaning I'll end up throwing YouTube stuff on here. And once again, in honor of the first round of analog shutdowns for American TV, here's a home video of an engineer pushing the button to end analog for one station, in this case WCTV in Tallahassee-Thomasville. Totally anti-climactic, of course, but that's how it'll be everywhere by June. Whimper, no bang. What did you expect?:

ANOTHER SHUTDOWN

Nothing tonight. Maybe tomorrow.

OK, in honor of many American TV stations ending analog transmissions tomorrow night, here are clips from when the U.K. ended 405 line VHF black-and-white TV on January 3, 1985:

Today, a sight from one of my running routes around the Palos Verdes Peninsula:


View Larger Map
This house has always fascinated me, because it's totally and entirely out of context to the neighborhood, or the city, or the state. Even Nixon's Western White House (several miles down the coast) didn't look like the ACTUAL White House. Was this ego, or bad taste, or a combination thereof? Why would someone want to build a house directly on the cliff over the Pacific Ocean that looked like 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Why would you want this house to look this way when every other house around you had Spanish influences and palm trees in the yard?

I guess the heart wants what the heart wants, and this family's heart wanted to feel like it ran the country.

THE ST. VALENTINE'S DAY MASSAGER

I do it every year. I come on here on Valentine's Day and get all mushy about Fran and how much I love her and all that.

Not this year. This year, I'm going to balance that out by telling you all the things I don't like about my wife.

WHAT I DON'T LIKE ABOUT MY WIFE

Um...

THE END

Heh.

I'm sorry. I can't come up with anything.

After 21 years together and 18 1/2 years married, you'd think I'd be able to come up with something that annoys me about her, but... nope. Got nothing. She's still amazing, and still everything I could ever want in a human being.

But you knew I'd say that.

Too bad. That's what I feel.

She's my Valentine. I'm a lucky man. Same as last year, same as always. That's a good thing.

No time tonight. So, another weird YouTube clip about which only someone like me would care, the 10th anniversary special for WCKT-TV Miami, from 1966, with great stuff (to me, at least) like aerial shots of the 79th Street Causeway studio next to the WIOD towers, Castro, and more:

This week's All Access newsletter is about need and radio and the nexus between... okay, I'm not sure WHAT it's about. But here it is:

Everybody's cutting back these days, and I'm no exception. Today, for example, I walked out to the driveway in the morning to retrieve the local papers and I thought... do I need this? It's on the web for free, I have less and less time to sit there and read the hard copy version... do I really NEED this, as in do I really want to pay for it? What would I miss if it wasn't there at the end of the driveway every morning?

And I thought about my cable service, too. We get HBO and Showtime. Do we need both? HBO, we watch. Showtime, not so much. In fact, I can't remember the last time we sat and watched something on Showtime. It's nice to have it as an option, but do we NEED it?

That exercise is being conducted all the time now. Do I NEED the Starbucks every day? Do I NEED to buy tickets for that basketball game? Do I NEED a new jacket, a weekend in Vegas, a magazine, the expensive olive oil, a new cell phone?

If you're involved on the other end, you hope the answer is yes. Your barista, the team owner, the clothing store, the casino, the publisher, the grocery, the cell phone company... they need you to need them. Or, more precisely, they need you to think you need those things, and with the economy how it is, they know that you're not going to be as quick to drop a few bucks on their products or services without thinking long and hard about it first.

That brings us to radio. I had a couple of conversations in the past few days in which the subject of radio's future came up. It comes up a lot, especially as times have gotten tougher. The words "dead" and "dying" did come up, and I thought about the hard times and the cutbacks and a lot of the bad-news stories about the industry in recent weeks and days. I've said here before that I don't think that the present woes mean that radio's going to go away anytime soon, yet if you talk long enough about the negative stuff, yeah, it seems bleak. But then you see the stories about 235 million listeners, and you consider radio's ubiquity, and you realize that killing all that off is going to be a tall order, even with all the new technology. Yes, streaming and downloads and technology we may not even know about yet will be in the mix, and so will cell phones, but, at heart, it's still audio entertainment, and unless you own the transmitter, that's the business you're in. Talk and personality radio, of course, has its own protection -- it's not easily replicated as is music programming -- but you know that.

So, how does that "need" thing play into this? Two ways:

1. On a programming level, you want to be indispensable. You want people to feel that they need what you're offering. In this climate, you want to offer them talk and information and entertainment that truly helps them cope with life, because that's what people feel they need. Tell them how the political dealings in Washington and at the state and local level will impact them. Help them find jobs. Make them laugh. Be indispensable; be something they value more than just listening to the same old songs on their iPods.

2. On a more general level, "need" isn't an issue, and that's the point. We're in cutback mode now as a society, and people are holding back on purchases and dropping services. They'll cut back on the cable packages. They'll go to fewer movies. They'll cancel the papers. But radio isn't likely to be on that cutback list, because it's free, everyone already has one, and, if you're doing it right, they'll know they're getting something of value for the low, low price of nothing. And that's a price everyone can afford right now.

Your mission is to make your station and/or your show a "need." Of course, your corporate overlords aren't going to make that easy; we've seen entire news departments go away, and we might see more of that before things change. But at some point, someone is going to see the opportunity in radio again, whether it gets delivered to listeners through an antenna on a tall tower with a blinking light or over the Net or through a megaphone out the window. If people need what you have to offer, you have a future.

Speaking of "need," if you talk on the radio, you need (oh, brother, what an embarrassingly obvious segue into the plug) All Access News-Talk-Sports' Talk Topics column for material lovingly hand-picked at the peak of flavor, giving you loads of topics with which to make the magic. Examples? Why, there's the saga of Fake Joba Chamberlain, cat punching, school yearbooks for homeless kids, a crackdown on "cool parents," guns in churches, new jobs for the politically disgraced, an unusual job application, why Carlos Mencia isn't going to Mardi Gras, bag bans, getting dumped on Facebook, why California taxpayers are nervous right now, places you don't want to drive, a Fake Foreigner Drummer, Brett Favre's annual retirement, the Further Adventures of Octomom, why you want a girl just like the girl who married dear old dad, why restaurants aren't pleased with the scheduling of Valentine's Day this year, and a story about human hair found in prehistoric hyena poop, among many other stories, including a lot of items about the economy you might not see elsewhere. Then, read "10 Questions With..." NRANews.com Executive Producer and veteran talk producer Cameron Gray, plus the rest of All Access, where you get the news and columns and job listings and resources you need, all free. Don't forget to follow All Access on Twitter (twitter.com/allaccess) and Facebook and sign up for text alerts powered by HipCricket, too.

Oh, and happy Valentine's Day to you and yours. As the song says, all you need is love. But chocolate doesn't hurt, either.

ELLA UPDATE

Working late, so I have to beg forgiveness for non-posting tonight. Just a quick Ella update: She's seemingly a little better today, and for the most part is acting what passes for normal with her today. We did have to give her a syringeful of medicine, squirted into her mouth, and we did it, albeit with difficulty and requiring the strength of two (we got her into the bathroom, shut the door, and Fran held her while I aimed the syringe. It worked, mostly). What fun.

There'll be a new edition of "The Letter" tomorrow. Maybe I'll think of a topic for it before it's due.

ELLA VS. THE PEATHING

Ella the World's Most Famous Cat has been a little under the weather lately; she's had some stomach upset and has gotten a little more meowy than usual, so Fran took her to the vet today. Diagnosis: Just an upset stomach, nothing more. That's a relief, but she also got some medicine and we have to feed it to her. It's liquid, and we have to shoot it into her mouth and have her swallow it.

This is not going to be easy. In fact, it would be easier to inject it into pretty much anywhere else on her.

Ella doesn't take kindly to having her mouth pried open. On Facebook, a friend suggested what the vet told Fran to do: tilt Ella's head back and aim for the side of her teeth, which in theory will allow a nice open shot for the medicine. That, I can safely say, will not happen. The last time we had to give Ella medicine, it was in pill form and we were told a particular maneuver that would pop her mouth open; it did not go well at all. I'm not confident about this.

But since she was treated, Ella is starting to seem a lot better. She's been lounging on our bed, and most of the day was uneventful until...

PEACOCK!!!

This peacock showed up in our backyard today. (Okay, maybe it's a peahen. I always get them mixed up)

It strutted around for a while, then came right up to the window, and Ella freaked. She stood up on the bed and started quivering with fear, or rage, or confusion. But HumanDaddy came to her rescue: My mere arrival by the window drove the peawhatever to walk away, saving Ella from whatever Ella thought was going to happen. And I wanted to show Ella that a) there was nothing to fear, or b) that HumanDaddy is a fearless defender of felinekind, so I walked out the door to drive the peathing away.

It didn't exactly run. In fact, I think I saw it yawn.

But it strutted for a few minutes, got bored, and flew to the top of the fence.

And then it flew away, looking for someplace more interesting. "See, Ella?," I wanted to say. "I'm here to save the day!" But she doesn't understand English.

And she knows better.

HI, BOB

I don't have time.

Watch Bob:

The Pro Bowl's out of the way, it's the quiet period between football and baseball, and with the Phillies' stuff being trucked down to Clearwater this week, it's as appropriate a time as any to go into the vaults to see what turns up. So, let's take a look and... well, now, will ya look at this?

This program is from July 5, 1975. Back then, if the Phillies were home on my birthday, I went, and on this evening, I hit the jackpot, a twi-night doubleheader with the Mets. Tom Seaver was on the cover, but he didn't pitch that evening, Neither did the Phillies' ace, Steve Carlton. Instead, in game one, Ron Schueler beat the Mets' Randy Tate, who came and went that same season, going 5-13 and never pitching in the majors again, tearing his rotator cuff two years later while in the Pirates' system. Greg Luzinski -- The Bull! -- went 2 for 4 with a homer, and the Phils won 8-2. In the nightcap, the Phillies won 10-7, with Jim Lonborg getting the win despite giving up six runs. The Phillies broke it open with a six run fifth, launched by a Garry Maddox leadoff triple and including a parade of singles off Nino Espinosa. Lots of offense, the Cash Scramble between games, and a ton of moths invading the field during game two; it just didn't get much better than that.

Let's take a few minutes while the grounds crew gets the turf cleaned up for game two and browse through the sixty cent program, shall we? (And let's pass over the significance of the AMC Pacer being the Official Car of the Phillies, shall we?)

Take a look at this front office member:

I had no idea Dallas Green was ever that young. In five years, he would lead the Phillies to the Promised Land for the first time, and he was a graying, perpetually red-in-the-face firebrand. In '75, he was just eight years removed from his pitching career, and had only served two years as a minor league manager before becoming Paul "The Pope" Owens' assistant in the Phillies' front office. The aging process hadn't hit hard yet, I suppose.

How about this youngster?:

By this time, Larry Bowa was an All-Star and his fiery temper was an asset on the field. He was more famous than infamous. The infamous part would come later, when he became a coach and manager.

Now, you think President Obama (or his campaign) invented "Yes We Can," right? Nope. 'Twas this guy:

"Yes We Can" was the team slogan in 1974, a sign of leadership, a sign that the Phillies were emerging from years of basement-dwelling to be a contender. Cash provided veteran stability and know-how to a clubhouse filled with rising stars. And he could turn a good catchphrase, too.

Everybody knew this guy owned Tom Seaver:

But that hair.... We have to give him the fact that it WAS 1975 and a perm like that was normal for the time, but... wow, Tommy, that's impressive.

He doesn't have that kind of 'do anymore.

Jay Johnstone always had an image as a "flake." He was allegedly wacky and zany and all that. Big prankster. Lots of hot-foots and stuff like that that baseball people always think is hilarious. "Dry wit" is not valued in the game:

Larry Cox's expression says it all. He was probably contemplating that hair.

Cox bounced around the majors for several seasons, landed with the Cubs as a coach, but died young of a heart attack, just 42. That's as sad as the look on his face here.

Also sad was the end of this guy's story:

I imagine that a lot of his two years in Philadelphia were taken up with his explaining to people, "no, not THAT John Oates. I play baseball." But his real fame came from managing the Orioles and Rangers, Manager of the Year in 1993 and two AL West titles in 1998-99. A brain tumor ended his life, but he fought it for three years, two longer than doctors expected and long enough to get to his daughter's wedding and meet his grandchild. That's a bigger victory than anything he could have won on the field.

And then there was Dick Allen:

This was his second go-round with the Phillies, and this one was more peaceful. His first tenure was famously rocky, but he came out of a brief retirement (two seasons removed from the AL MVP) to play three more seasons, two with the Phils and one in Oakland. Lousy fielder at first base, but could hit a ball into the next time zone. Sound familiar?

You know more about these guys than I could write:

They all played a role in what happened five seasons later, of course.

But the real star of any game at the Vet in that era was this guy:

I'm amazed that there's not a single mention of Charlie Frank, the singing, yelling hot dog vendor at Phillies games, anywhere on the Net, other than this brief mention. Until now, that is. I remember sitting in the right field boxes at the Vet and hearing the caterwauling of an old guy from the aisle between the 200 and 300 levels and people pulling out their wallets to buy some Phillies Franks from him. He's in this ad as a celebrity endorser. If Roger Owens can be the subject of a book, Charlie Frank should get at least something.

AT THE MOVIES: "HJNTIY"

We decided to go to the movies before the rain stopped. By the time we headed out to the theater, the sun was shining, but we decided to plow ahead with our plans; it's not like we had anything better to do in the sunshine, anyway. So we trooped to the multiplex and saw "He's Just Not That Into You."

Yes, I saw a chick flick, but there are mitigating circumstances, namely that the movie was loosely based on a book co-written by our friend Greg, who also appears in the movie. It won't be a spoiler to tell you that he appears in a wedding scene and has no lines, but his face fills the screen for a reaction shot for a couple of seconds and if I hadn't known beforehand that he'd be in that scene, I would have reacted with a few rapid-fire thoughts, namely: why did they just flash a picture of Greg on the screen and why is he wearing a priest's outfit? They did and he did and we quietly cheered and the movie kept going and going, and it's actually pretty okay for a chick flick, and virtually everybody in it is either a big star or a familiar face from TV and if you're a guy who gets dragged to see it, you might enjoy it. But be forewarned: Ben Affleck. On the other hand: Scarlett Johansson, but if you're hoping it's in 3-D, it isn't. That's "Coraline," next door.

We hadn't been to the theater in several months, and, judging by the trailers, we don't have a lot coming up to bring us back. There's one starring Beyonce and Ali Larter that appears to be "Fatal Attraction," only with, um, Beyonce and Ali Larter. There's a new "Harry Potter," but we've skipped the last couple of Harry Potters. There's something called "All About Steve," in which Sandra Bullock does a wacky-desperate man-hungry act and is reminiscent of when Lucy was doing slapstick in her 80s. And there was... geez, I can't even remember the others. It's that bad.

But the movie was enjoyable -- long, but enjoyable -- and the audience was interesting, mostly single women in their 20s and 30s as if it was a support group session, and I survived. I survived a chick flick. However, the next one we see better have plenty of explosions. Every diet needs balance.

SEMI-HAPPY RECAP

I got home from dinner, checked the page... Eureka, the post, it worked. I declare victory, and since it's a cold, rainy night in Southern California and it was another day of radio layoffs, I will exercise my prerogative to shut off the computer and go away for a little bit. Movies, more TV memories, maybe some sports are in the offing here soon.

But not now.

All this is, is a test post to see if I've finally figured out how to post here on my HTC Touch Pro phone. If you can see this, it worked.

If not... well, we don't need tp deal with that, do we?

This week's All Access newsletter feints conservative, fakes liberal, and goes right up the middle for a populist slam dunkaroonie:

Whose side are you on?

We've been over this before, the whole conservative radio vs. liberal radio thing, and I'm as tired of that as you are. You can find "it's the other guy's fault" on any talk station these days, and far be it from me to suggest that it doesn't work. There are many hosts who get a lot of mileage from that, and more power to 'em. If it works for you, run with it. Go wild. Have a party.

But there's another way to look at it, and another side on which to be. There surely are a lot of folks who identify, for talk radio listening purposes, as "liberal" and "conservative," but I sense that the prevailing mood out there isn't "it's the other guy's fault." It's "DO something." It's "we need help now." It's beyond partisanship. And it's an opportunity for you, which brings me back to that question:

Whose side are you on?

The best answer is: your listeners' side, of course.

It goes back to something I've discussed in previous columns. Your job, I've said, isn't to promote a political party or get a candidate elected. First, it's to entertain. Second, you, in effect, represent the listener. The audience wants you to represent them. It's not conservative or liberal, it's, for lack of a better term, populism. If your version leans one way or the other, that's fine, but the bottom line is this: going to bat for your listeners is never a bad idea. The "other guy," the enemy, should be the people who stand in the way of your listeners' interests, no matter what party they're in.

Again, I'm not saying that no host or show should be partisan, not if that's working for you. But I just think that there's a much larger audience out there that wants to hear talk radio that sticks up not for a political party or a candidate or politician but for them. And that goes double for right now, when everyone is looking for someone to look out for THEIR interests. You can't go wrong choosing to be on your listeners' side.

(And while we're at it, it doesn't hurt to be there for your listeners in other ways, too -- we'll talk about it some other week, but using your show and website to help people find jobs or find out how to get help is a good thing to do both for your listeners and for you)

The economy and politics aren't the only things -- is that plural, or are they one and the same? -- about which you'll be talking, of course, because you can't survive on a diet of solely bad news on the economy, can you? You'll need OTHER bad news, too, and good news and funny news and everything else that makes for an entertaining, successful show, and for all of that, where better to turn than All Access News-Talk-Sports and the Talk Topics show prep column, where you'll find items about a particularly unkind cut, a ferret at KFC, why not to take your teenager's cell phone away, several ill-advised e-mails, why Manhattan smelled like maple syrup instead of the usual stench, some Facebook identity theft stories, the Springsteen ticket controversy, a Guitar Hero record, the McDonald's iced tea that wasn't, life as a human billboard, more woes at the nation's newspapers, why you really need to make sure your seat belt is fastened, and, of course, the Adventures of Octomom, as well as every conceivable angle on the economy, because there's no way NOT to talk about it. "10 Questions With..." syndicated talker Leslie Marshall is also on the menu, as is the rest of All Access with radio and music industry news first and best, columns, ratings, charts, information, job listings, message boards, and more, all free.

Next week, I solve the economic crisis. Or not. Probably not. Okay, it'll be the usual radio advice thing or rant. I know my limitations.

EVERYONE I KNOW IS FAMOUS BUT ME

The front page of the Calendar section of the L.A. Times today seemed like it was custom-made for me.

See? Here's the article about Greg, promoting the movie from his book. He didn't write the movie, but he has a cameo and a "based on the book by" credit. And that's enough to get me to the theater to watch a chick flick.

And here's the article about Jonesy, talking about his exile from radio after Indie 103.1's demise. Someone get him back on the air soon. Seriously. Now.

I like this new Times thing: familiar faces in the morning paper. Maybe they'll do a feature on our cat tomorrow.

WHAT WE WATCHED: DECEMBER 17, 1968

Let's call these jaunts down TV Guide Lane "What We Watched," okay? Now, let's check out a Tuesday, a little more than 40 years ago, December 17, 1968:

Again, we're in Houston and prime time started at 6:30 Central. This hour was gruesome: NBC had Jerry Lewis' attempt at a variety show, his second solo effort as a weekly network show host, and it was putrid. This particular episode was typical, with guests including Kaye Ballard, then starring in "The Mothers-In-Law" (co-starring a guy I know!), and Rex Harrison's briefly-famous son Noel, who sang and acted and is still kicking around. You got a bunch of weak sketches with broad characters like "the world's meanest man" Ralph Rotten, parodies of commercials and shows, and... yeah, not funny at all.

There are a lot of clips from the 1963 talk-show "Jerry Lewis Show," but almost nothing left from the 1967-68 variety show. Here's what's left, a bad sketch "Sidney Rents an Apartment" with 1968-vintage topical references and "swinging" music and dancing and Jerry engaging in embarrassing slapstick and odd pathos:

Gary Puckett and the Union Gap singing "Over You" (no Jerry in sight, but plenty of colorful "psychedelic" effects):

And Bobby Darin singing "Long Line Rider" in his denim-rocker phase:

CBS had "Lancer, a typical Western. I didn't do Westerns. ABC had "Mod Squad," and I do remember watching it. You know the Squad, Pete, Julie, and Linc "Solid" Hayes, with Captain Greer in charge:

At 7:30, the "relevant" comedy "Julia" was on NBC. It was "relevant" because it starred an African-American woman, Diahann Carroll as a single mom, a widow with an adorable son and a crusty old white guy boss. I haven't seen it since, well, maybe 1968, so I don't know if it's cringe-worthy or good. For a hit sitcom, it seems to have been buried. NBC followed it up with a lame movie, on this evening "co-starring Nancy Sinatra!" And George Raft, Paul Lynde, Bob Denver, and Woody Woodbury as himself! Hey, maybe it wasn't so lame... no, it was lame. And, no, I have no idea why someone made a video with the theme song and shots of the DVD case, closed and open:

But then there's this extremely disturbing scene in which Bob Denver's disembodied beard (with a drawn-on face) sings:

Chilling.

Red Skelton annoyed me. He laughed at his own jokes more than Jackie Martling, and the comedy was unbelievably corny. Like this, from 1970, featuring Raymond Burr (!):

"It Takes a Thief" was at the tail end of the spy craze. This episode isn't one of the ones on Hulu, but it has everything: Nazis! Thievery with a purpose! Robert Wagner! Robert Wagner's then-wife!

"The Doris Day Show" was weird, because it totally changed from year to year. The first season premise was ditched for season two, when she moved to San Francisco, took a job on a magazine, and acquired McLean Stevenson and Rose Marie. Cast members came and went, and it was hard to get a handle on what was going on. But it lasted five seasons, and there was always that very familiar theme:

"N.Y.P.D." was a cop show. I didn't watch cop shows back then. It was also the reason Frank Converse wouldn't have been available to continue had CBS wanted to revive the cult hit "Coronet Blue," an exemplar of the amnesiac-tries-to-piece-together-what-the-hell-is-going-on genre. That show was shot in '65 and burned off in the summer of 1967, and by the time it aired, Converse had gone on to "N.Y.P.D."

Now, "That's Life" was weird. It was a musical sitcom. Robert Morse and E.J. Peaker as a newlywed couple, with plenty of production numbers, like Broadway crossed with the sitcom form. I can't find any clips; I wonder if there's any trace of it left.

I saw Robert Morse about maybe 15 years ago on a subway platform on the Lexington Avenue line in Manhattan. He seemed harried. He's obviously still going strong.

Johnny Carson's guest was David Frye. This was the beginning of David Frye's salad years -- he was the prime Nixon impressionist, and Nixon would take office and provide him with the ride of a lifetime starting in a few weeks from then. Of course, after 1974, the call for Nixon impressions would dramatically fall off, but he was hot for a while, appearing on the last "Ed Sullivan Show" and charting two albums. After a cameo in "Scenes From A Mall" in 1991, there's no trace of him. I wonder where he went.

Oh, yeah, see Joey Bishop's show? Not the one on channel 3 at 10:30, but the one on channel 13 at the same time? Chuck Eisenmann's dogs? There's a way more interesting story than "dog act" about him. Read about it here. And if you grew up with the Canadian TV series "The Littlest Hobo," well, yeah, you know the "dog act."

-25

I've been avoiding that "25 things" meme running around Facebook lately, and that other one with 40 or 50 questions. I've been tagged, but I haven't done it. I can't think of 25 things about myself that people might be interested in knowing.

Or maybe I do, but I don't want to tell everyone about it. I'm pretty much an open book here -- people who read this thing know whatever there is about my private and professional life that I'm willing to discuss. I share enough, but I don't feel like oversharing. I don't see the benefit in all that.

I COULD make stuff up, though. It's kinda low, obvious comedy, but it WOULD fulfill the requirement. Let's see... I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die, I enjoy coating myself in caramel and rolling in crushed peanuts, I opened for the Doobie Brothers the night of the "What's Happening" bootleg controversy... nah, not all that funny.

So I'll skip it. This way, not only don't I have to come up with 25 things about myself, I don't have to tag anyone else, either. See? Social networking works much better when you maintain at least a few anti-social tendencies.

SUPER

Okay, so we got a good game after all. At least, the last play of the first half and the whole second half were barn burners.

I had no rooting interest in this one; I couldn't work up a good resentment of the Cardinals for knocking out the Eagles, since those were self-inflicted wounds that caused the Eagles to bleed out. I don't hate the Steelers, despite the intrastate rivalry thing with the Eagles. I didn't care who won. But it was a good one, it came down to the final seconds, and even without a stake in the game, you couldn't help but get that heart-stopping feeling on the final Steelers drive. Can't ask for more than that.

The ads sucked, though, for the most part. The strangest may have been one that aired locally here in Los Angeles, a spot for Jack in the Box in which Jack got hit by a bus and critically injured -- he lay in the street, his head cracked, his hat crushed, and a co-worker making a lame joke on the 911 call. If the payoff isn't free burgers for everyone, it's just awful marketing.

And their fries suck.

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