August 2009 Archives

HOT NEAR THE CITY

It remains beyond hot in Southern California, and that's besides the obvious. The fires are only part of it. It's just been oppressively, uncomfortably hot for over a week now, even by the ocean. It's dusk now and it still feels hot. Everyone here has had enough of it, especially those of us who have no air conditioning. I want to fill a tub with ice and soak in it. I want to submerge myself in a pool while ingesting Otter Pops. I want to be cool, not in the trendy sense but in the actual, October-in-Philadelphia sense. I would appreciate that right about now.

The TV weatherbots claimed a few days ago that a cooldown was in the cards starting today, but they lied. Now, they say we'll have a slight -- very slight -- cooling trend starting maybe Thursday, and only then into the low 80's. This is not Vegas or Phoenix. It should be 72 and sunny every day, not this. And, living by the ocean, I should be getting a marine layer, too, every night, shrouding the neighborhood in the morning long enough to let me get my daily run in while it's cool, then burning off by lunchtime for a brilliant, beautiful afternoon. That's what we pay for when we live here. That's why we put up with earthquakes, high taxes, incompetent agencies, intense traffic, and all the other things for which L.A. is known. We pay that price for great weather and spectacular scenery. You could call the sight of smoke and flames rising from the mountains spectacular in a macabre, I-can't-believe-this-is-happening way, but great weather, this is not. I feel ripped off.

This, too, shall pass, of course. But for the next week or so, at least, this region will remain quite literally hellish, replete with flames. I hope we have enough ice.

MARIACHIS!




APRES LE INFERNO

The fire went out, for the most part, sometime early Friday. The Internet and cable didn't come back until today, just before we were to head down to San Diego for dinner.

Yeah, we made the long round trip for dinner, which means it's too late to write much today. But the result of the experience? Right here, on this spot, There Will Be Mariachis. Oh, yes, there will be mariachis, if the video comes out, that is. I will give you mariachis as soon as mariachis are available.

No, I didn't consume a bathtub full of tequila. Why do you ask?

I wrote an entirely different column this week, until Rancho Palos Verdes caught fire and changed everything, including this week's All Access newsletter:

It was about 8:30 Thursday night when the choppers showed up and the sirens started wailing. Up until then, it was an uneventful night; I'd been working on a column and watching the Eagles game on delay, and I was wrapping things up and looking forward to some sleep when my plans were derailed.

The commotion turned out to be a brush fire, a big one. You may have seen it on TV by now; it was one of two fires that made the national news. It came close enough for us to see the huge orange glow from our house and for everything here to be anointed with a layer of light soot and a distinct smoky odor. It was scary for a while, and we were (and are still) poised to evacuate if need be, but we're fine, if shaken and sleepless.

And, once again, an emergency situation presented itself, and radio... Well, here's how it went. When we saw the flames, I turned on the TV, and one station was already showing spectacular HD chopper video from the fire along with a steady flow of information. The same station touted how they were loading their website with live streaming coverage and evacuation information. Radio? Who needs radio? TV and the Internet had it totally....

That's when the cable went out and the Internet did, too. Even without losing power, we had no access to TV. The cell phones have Internet, but the fire must have taken out an antenna or two, because the signal kept dropping out. ("Can you hear me now?" Er, no, not really) Where were we going to find out where the fire was heading, whether we would have to evacuate, what was happening?

Hey, do we have one of those... what are they called... you know, the thing with the dial and the... oh, yeah. Radio.

All night long, radio was there for us. The radio happened to be tuned to the all-News station, KNX, and it was wall-to-wall with live coverage, reporters on the scene, all the information we needed. And it was portable, easy to use, and free. In an emergency, this time, radio came through.

You might recall that the last time we had an emergency -- a quake -- radio didn't do so well, and I criticized how understaffed stations failed to provide the coverage I expected of them. This time, they came through.

Two thoughts: One, let this be at least one answer to the pundits who have declared radio dead and new media triumphant. It ain't over quite yet. Yes, new media are where the growth is, and the technical possibilities are endless. But the Net has its limits, too. Streaming video and audio and interactive maps and location-based content and social networks don't matter if your neighborhood's on fire and the power's out. Even a teenager who's grown up thinking radio's grandpa's thing will understand that there's a value to a medium that, as they say about the Mac, just works.

The other point is that radio can be that utility -- the old reliable necessity -- only if, like KNX did when the fires started, it can provide the kind of non-stop, live, on-the-scene, complete coverage the public needs and expects. In the haste to cut costs and find every penny available to make their debt payments, the folks who own radio stations have slashed news budgets everywhere. Emergencies magnify how penny-wise and pound-foolish that is. When you need that information and the medium to which you turn is offering you sketchy information because there's one person on duty in the newsroom and all he or she has is whatever's on the wire, or, worse, the station's serving up Today's Hits and Yesterday's Favorites, that's when the "radio is dead" people have a point. So, once again, I implore the equity partners and accountants and sales people in charge of things these days to remember: News isn't just something radio does that you can cut because it's an Internet thing now. It's one of the things that DEFINE radio's continued relevance to its users. Don't give that up for short-term savings, or because someone thinks it's just not necessary. It's necessary, all right. When the power goes out, it's all people have.

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I'm dispensing with my usual long-winded plug for Talk Topics at All Access News-Talk-Sports, because I'm typing this on my cell phone and it's, shall we say, uncomfortable to do this for a whole column's length. Just go to Talk Topics for a lot of material you can use on your shows. While you're there, read "10 Questions With..." Fox Sports Radio "Petros and Money" co-host Matt "Money" Smith and the rest of All Access which continues to feature the radio and music industries' best news coverage and a complete array of resources, all free and unfettered by fire.

And, finally, thanks to all of you who contacted us through the night with your concerns and, in some cases, even offers of a place to stay. We appreciate it, we're fine, and it looks like we won't have to take you up on those offers. Your sigh of relief for that last part is understandable. I wouldn't want me as a houseguest, either.

EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES

There's a brush fire not too far from here. No, I don't have any witty things to say. Just waiting it out. We're OK at the moment. But I hate this stuff.

HOT HOT HEAT

It's hotter than usual tonight. The breezes are (finally) picking up off the ocean, but it was just plain hot this afternoon. I am presently stuck to my office chair, another reason not to wear shorts on a vinyl chair on a hot day. The three computers are kicking off a lot of heat, too.

And that means I don't want to be sitting in here. So I'll cut it short -- again -- and repair to the other room, where the cross breezes will mean I won't be as likely to sweat clear through the couch. Dry heat? Still heat.

What does Google News consider "news"?:

Yes, some anti-Semitic rant about Jews controlling the media, replete with phony "facts," is considered news by the company whose stated goal is to do no evil. Lovely. I got this in a Google News Alert today; it's an example of how the definition of "news" is becoming a little troublesome in the new media age. Google News is a computer, and somewhere along the line, someone decided that this political/social extremist website belonged among legitimate, trusted news sources and plugged them into the computer. And, somewhere, someone is getting this link and thinking that the information contained therein is true.

It's scary out there.

NOT GOING TO KANSAS CITY

From this morning's Kansas City Star website:

Brought to you by the Department of Tourism.

Larry told me I should keep writing here no matter what, and he's right. He's been pretty much on target with his advice over the years, so I should listen. On the other hand, when it's 7 pm and my eyes are burning from staring at this Mac screen all day, and I really want nothing more than to shut it down and join Fran in the other room to decompress, there's a compelling argument for taking the evening off.

Or I could try to do both, which would be easier if anything newsworthy happened to me today. Nothing did. Even the mail had nothing, unless an REI catalog and an ad for a cruise line count. (They don't) I did get aggravated over a phone conversation I had, but I'm going to save that for another column. It's not ripe enough yet. The Phillies game -- another Cliff Lee win, another pair of Ryan Howard bombs -- was over so early that it seems like ancient history. I haven't seen a single down of preseason football yet (the Vick debut might change that later this week). Went to the gym, watched Liverpool totally suck against Aston Villa -- losing two out of your first three, including this one at home, is not a good sign for the season, and you could feel the life sucked out of Anfield even here halfway around the world from there -- and came home to work some more. I'm not really worked up over anything at the moment.

Nope, nothing here. Time to go relax if I can.

This is what happens when you're covering a ballgame and you write your story before the game's over and post it too quickly:

You'll note that the score is wrong and the story's missing the lede: The game ended on an Eric Bruntlett (!) unassisted triple play. The guy wrote this without waiting for the ninth inning.

That's what passes for journalism in 2009.

I've noticed that the baseball fields in my area have been empty all summer. They've been empty in summer for years.

This is one of those "why, when I was a boy..." moments, I guess. But it's older than even my youth, because I remember my father and I driving past the ballfields of his youth in Paterson, New Jersey in the mid- or late-1960's and him saying, "Look at that. When I was a kid, we'd have to wait our turn. There were ALWAYS kids playing pickup ball, and stickball in the streets, and now you don't see anyone playing if it's not Little League."

It's still like that. The fields I ran past this morning at Lunada Bay Elementary have been idle all summer, the soccer nets in place ready for youth league games coming up. But there aren't kids playing soccer, either. There aren't kids playing hoops. There... aren't kids.

Where are they?

Maybe they're playing Xbox 360 games. Maybe they're on the Net. Maybe they're skateboarding,or hanging out at Del Amo Mall. But I don't see too many kids outside, period, not on their bikes, not playing in the yard, not anywhere. The Palos Verdes Peninsula appears to have been denuded of all youth, other than the few who congregate outside the Starbucks at the Promenade on Deep Valley every night. They've disappeared.

Except, that is, for the neighbor kids who scream all afternoon while jumping on their backyard trampoline. They still exist. Their classmates? Anybody's guess.

THIS WEEK'S "THE LETTER": STEP RIGHT UP

This week's All Access newsletter was Inspired By A True Story:

We were driving down Hawthorne Boulevard on Saturday afternoon when I saw it. There was a brightly-colored canopy, a table, two distracted-looking young people, and a van. And an otherwise empty parking lot in front of a tire store.

Yep. Radio promotion.

Now, before I go on, I'll note that great minds think alike, and consultant Mark Ramsey wrote about seeing a similar display in his market the very next day. (It's here.) He was as disappointed with what he saw in San Diego as I was with what I saw in Torrance. (These were hardly small stations, by the way, and, coincidentally, share common ownership) And it should be obvious to everyone that throwing a couple of interns in a van and sending them to a store to hand out bumper stickers and keychains is not a compelling marketing strategy.

I know, I know, it's a sales thing. Gotta do it, because sales needs it. But do they really need THAT? What value is there to some dispiriting setup with a van and a card table, especially at some place that isn't really a destination (like a tire store parking lot)? Is that really going to close the deal? Aren't clients wise to this by now? Yes, times are tough and you have to do whatever works to close a sale, but radio marketing was the same BEFORE the economy did a face plant. And it's not always just a sales thing, either: At the cancer fundraiser run/walk I do every year, there's one talk radio station that puts a booth up and there's nothing there but a couple of street teamers handing out paper fans or something. That's it. No mention of the talent or why people should listen, nothing exciting, just... well, they're there. It's nice that they support the cause, but you wouldn't notice them if you weren't looking for them.

My wife Fran, who sold radio advertising in markets of many sizes, told me to note that in smaller markets, you can get good response from stuff like this, but she always used talent appearances to do that. And there's one additional thing you need to do: Make it a show.

Radio is supposed to be Show Biz. Howard Stern used to call it "the lowest rung" on the Show Biz ladder, but it IS Show Biz. To the audience, it's entertainment. So your marketing needs to entertain them. You can't just show up. You have to give people a reason to come out, a reason to want to participate, a reason to listen.

I know it's not everyone, because you can see some shows and stations doing things like big live events at concert venues and arenas, bringing the talent out only to the kind of splashy events that grab attention and media coverage, whether it's a stage show or a big protest rally. Some people in the business understand that they need to make the talent, whether a nationally syndicated household name or a brand-new local talker, a Big Deal. (I'll give credit here to consultant Walter Sabo, who drilled the concept that even getting to call in and talk to the host should be a Big Deal for listeners) But that should be the way radio, especially talk radio, always does it. The hosts are Big Deals. The station is a Big Deal. You are a Big Deal. Every show, every appearance, every piece of marketing should get that point across: We're a Big Deal.

And if your station just sticks with van hits and interns, what will listeners' image of you be then? "Big deal."

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There's a lot more I could talk about regarding radio marketing, but I'll show mercy and stop this thing in time for the weekend. Besides, it's time for the Obligatory Plug for All Access News-Talk-Sports and the Talk Topics show prep column, which next month celebrates its 10th anniversary of bringing you stuff to talk about on the radio plus inane comments and jokes of questionable taste. This week, we're talking about the Great Debate over whether to sit or stand at concerts, more economic news you probably don't want to hear, a missing dog with pink earrings, Phil Spector's complaint, annoying Facebookers, how people are living longer, the end of Cash for Clunkers, an unusual use of a pit bull, the world's most annoying buskers, Tony Danza teaching high school, why folks are growing their own tobacco, swine flu, dog flu, what a kidney's worth on the open market, the real culprit for global warming, a cell phone with an unfortunate hidden feature, the most overrated tourist attractions in the U.S., and business cards made out of beef jerky, not to mention all that "real news" you might want to address, like health care and the economy and all the other crises we're facing. Then, take your mind off all that by reading "10 Questions With..." Air America Media National Correspondent, weekend host, and Twitterer-of-note Ana Marie Cox, and top it off with a look at the latest radio industry happenings in Net News, the hottest music on Mediabase's charts, what the top minds in the business are thinking in a wide array of columns, and a ton more, all free.

All right, I'm done. I'm so done, I can't even begin to think up a clever way to close this column. Have a good weekend.

OUTAGE DU JOUR

So, tonight, I have a great excuse: No Internet. Well, no regular internet. Cox Cable is out. I'm posting this from my phone, and I don't mind telling you that it's a pain in the ass. I'm working on "The Letter," but it'll have to go up when I have real Net access, which looks like tomorrow. (If I don't have it in the early morning, I'm REALLY screwed).

In the meantime... g'night.

ON THE DISHEVELED LIST

I'm a little under the weather today. Thought I was feeling better, but got waylaid again this afternoon, so I'm going to go try and sleep it off.

But how about that Cliff Lee, huh? I have to admit that it's weird to be a fan of a team whose mid-season acquisitions work out, at least in the first four games, like this. He's even hitting. I'm liking this.

All right, gotta go rest.

THE TROUBLE WITH AWFUL SITCOMS

They didn't come much worse than "The Trouble With Tracy":

The Canadian sitcom, seen in syndication in the U.S., was down there with "Small Wonder" and "We Got It Made" among the cheesiest, worst shows of the last 40 years.

It's bad, but what's interesting is that the show, with all its wooden acting, awkward pacing, flubbed lines, and depressing cheap sets, was based on scripts from one of the most respected comedies from radio's Golden Age, "Easy Aces." What was urbane and sophisticated in the 1930's was embarrassing when delivered by an all-Canadian cast in 1970. I remember seeing this show back in the day, and even at 10 years old I knew there was something... off.

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"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" is not by any stretch of the imagination an "awful" sitcom. It is, in fact, one of the better sitcoms, and one of its signature creations was at tonight's Phillies game, gyrating wildly in celebration of a Carlos Ruiz homer. In the left field stands: Green Man!

No video available of tonight's game yet, but here's an official clip of the real Green Man and lots of folks joining the fun:

THE AGING REPORT

I doubt you'll find a more depressing article anywhere than this one. It's a piece by legendary sports magazine writer Pat Jordan, and it's brilliant, as is most of his work. But it's depressing. Very, very depressing.

The article, from Men's Journal magazine, is a lament about getting old, and it was featured at Deadspin by A.J. Daulerio under the headline "And Now A Story That Is Trying To Break Your Heart," a small reference, perhaps, to the Wilco song. Jordan describes how trips to the supermarket become an every-day affair, how young women look through you now, how you need less -- "Less food, less booze, less sex, less sleep" -- and get less, waking up each day at 4 and doing mundane things until it's time to go to sleep. He talks about how the body goes on you, how you no longer care about how you look, how you can't see as well and give up on dreams. And he throws a heartbreaker about his wife in there at the very end.

It's painful to read if you're at a certain age. I'm not his age, but anyone who's past a certain point in their life can relate to the feeling. It's the gnawing feeling you get that the best is behind you, that you're on the down slope, that you're marking time. He phrases it far more eloquently than I could ever muster, of course, but I understand.

Yet, I suppose that at my age, there's still fire. I don't WANT to give in to that feeling. I don't EVER want to feel like there's no future, that whatever I've accomplished up to now is the best I'm going to do. I don't believe it's over. And, I tell myself, as long as I feel that way, it's not over, not by a long shot.

Is the best yet to come? I have no idea, but I hope so. And it's too early to give up now.

FLEETING THOUGHTS ON SUNDAY NIGHT

Ah, well, maybe I should write SOMETHING here.

Like, say, about tonight's "Mad Men," which was good, not spectacular, but a nice setup for the season. The episode was bracketed with Don thinking about his origin and then asked by his daughter to tell her about her birth, and contained corporate intrigue (the new British bosses appointing Pete and Ken as co-Heads of Accounts after the old one got canned and threw a tantrum), a fateful trip to Baltimore that exposed Sal's secret to Don, and just brief reminders that Peggy's still in the show and, nominally, one of the two leads. It's nice to have this show back. Even the expository episodes are way beyond most of the rest of television, and a reminder that there are still things worth watching.

What else? We took a walk through the resort down the street; a few pictures are on Posterous. The pools were pretty busy, the restaurants moderately so, the valet area crowded. But I wondered throughout who's still spending money at expensive resorts. The place is beautiful -- spectacularly so -- but the experience doesn't come cheap, and there have been articles in recent weeks about how resorts are suffering. Watching the couples and families chowing down on $16 hamburgers and $28 brunch buffets, I was having a hard time imagining where all that money's coming from. I'm not complaining; it's great if there are still people able to spend. But I did feel like I was a member of a lower caste looking at the moneyed elite through a glass partition. And they undoubtedly were looking at us as "townies." Can't we all just get along?

And, finally, there was the chicken. We picked up a rotisserie chicken at Ralphs and when I opened the package, there was a thick red twist-tie shoved up the chicken's butt. It was one of the kind you'd see binding a head of Romaine, or keeping celery together, a thick band of red shiny material with a Ralphs logo on it, all twisted and shoved in there like someone was trying to get rid of something. I brought it back and the usual managers and staff weren't around, and the new folks -- for some reason, there are a LOT of new staffers at the store lately -- seemed unperturbed. They didn't even look at it; they just gave me my money back. That was good, but I would think they'd, you know, want to make sure that it doesn't happen again. Oh, well, no more rotisserie chicken from there for us. I don't digest twist ties all that well.

There ya go. More tomorrow.

AND AGAIN

Still have a lot to do other than this, sorry to say. You can see some pictures at pmsimon.posterous.com if you want. Time is at a premium for now, so, well, sorry, but I hope to get back on track soon. Thanks for bearing with me.

PASSING THE BUCK AGAIN

Because I'm busy and other than a very nice lunch in Brentwood today, nothing newsworthy happened here today, go look at the pictures of a raccoon and people at the Coffee Bean at pmsimon.posterous.com. Enjoy the weekend.

BECAUSE IT'S THERE

Added a Posterous blog. It's at pmsimon.posterous.com and there's not much there yet. There may never be much there, but, hell, Lileks has one, so why not? It's actually a cool idea, blogging simplified: You e-mail anything, a picture, an article, whatever, and it posts immediately. No muss, hardly any setup. Great idea.

But do we need it? We have blogs, Blogger, TypePad, LiveJournal, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, FriendFeed, Plurk, Tumblr. There are a million ways to say things on the Net. Another one? Why?

Why not? I'll test it out. So far, I kinda like it.

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Today was uneventful to the extreme. I should be grateful for that after a couple of rough weeks. But after recently reading about how bad getting just six hours of sleep a night is, and considering that it's all I get, ever, perhaps I shouldn't be sitting in front of the computer right now.

So I won't.

This week's All Access newsletter is about evaluating your own work in the same environment others will judge it:

You know what you need to do? You need to get out of the office.

No, really, you do. If you're a talk radio PD -- or any format PD -- you need to get out of the building. If you're a host, you need to get out of there. Just stand up, walk out the door, get into your car, and drive.

Why? Because it's the best way to hear if you're getting it right.

Here's what I mean: You need to experience listening to your station the way your listeners do. That goes whether you do local talk or all-syndication. You need to hear what your station sounds like, not when you're in a radio office, not on a tape that you stop and analyze after each call or segment, but how it sounds when you're doing what real listeners do. They're not sitting with the entire family in front of the big 1930's-era Crosley, they're driving around, running errands. They're weaving through traffic. They're taking cell phone calls, checking the GPS, looking at billboards and other cars. They're dropping the kids off at swim practice or looking for a parking space at the mall. They're stuck in a long queue at the In-N-Out Burger drive-thru. That's the environment in which your radio station or show is being consumed.

Radio sounds different under those circumstances. You can only really know if your station cuts through all of the distractions by listening while experiencing those same distractions. Listen and ask yourself: If I didn't work for this station -- if I wasn't responsible for what I'm hearing -- would I listen to it myself? If I'm in the target audience, would I be paying attention to this station or would I hit the scan button? Are the topic, the host, the imaging, the promos, the signal all working? Is this compelling radio or background noise?

It's especially important to answer those questions in the PPM era. If you're in a metered market, and here I'm going to refrain from analyzing the pros and cons of the PPM and just accept it as a given for now, the days when your core audience would just scribble your call letters in the diary at 6 am and draw a line through the entire day are over. The meter picks up when you change the station. A bad topic, a boring segment, stale or inappropriate imaging, too-long stop sets... any of these things will send listeners elsewhere, and the meters will remember what the listeners don't.

That's why you need to get out of the artificial atmosphere of your station and hit the road. Listen the way the people with meters and diaries do. (If you're a host, take an aircheck from your last show and listen in the car, nonstop, unscoped) See if what you're putting on the air sounds right. And if you're not sure what it should sound like, just consider this: Is it good enough to keep you from hitting the button? Is it good enough to bring you back? Is it good enough that you're not thinking about plugging in the iPod? Yes? Then you're probably on the right track.

Or you're hopelessly biased. But try to listen the way "real people" do. Make the time. It's worth the trouble. Plus, it's an hour or two that the sales manager can't track you down, and there's no down side to that.

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See? I can go a week without being hypercritical about everything. It's just another indication of my versatility. (Available for Freelance Writing Assignments; Reasonable Rates, Inquire Within) And you'll find that kind of range in the topic selection at Talk Topics, the show prep column at All Access News-Talk-Sports, which is loaded, as always, with plenty of material for you to use on the air and keep those listeners from tuning away. Think of it as having an extra producer, one who won't get you coffee or make any phone calls for you but who peppers you with topic ideas until your ears bleed. Wait, is that good? It's updated several times daily, too, which keeps things fresh -- why, it wasn't more than a few minutes after the news leaked that Michael Vick signed with the Eagles that I posted the link and a stupid comment about it in the column.

What else is news this week? There's plenty, including items about how I... I mean, people don't get enough sleep, a really expensive phone call, Facebook jealousy, a city park almost named after a snack chip, rogue delivery truck drivers, a giant inflatable colon, more Cash for Clunkers fun, the death of the post office stamp machine, a lament for the working poor, healthy things to eat while on a road trip (Moon Pies did not make the list), Tony Danza, how Hollywood influences history students, the End of the Recession That Doesn't Really Seem Like It's Over, a few stories about the Dallas Cowboys' new stadium that seem to be emanating from another, less impoverished era, how some embarrassed unemployed folks fake going to work to keep up appearances, three straight stories about a particular bodily function, Miley Cyrus' pole dance for teens, Otter Attack!!!, and much more, from "real news" to really stupid news. Plus, you can read "10 Questions With..." Premiere Radio Networks and KTLK-FM/Minneapolis - St. Paul syndicated talker Jason Lewis and the rest of All Access with the industry's most complete, accurate, and dependable news coverage, ratings, columns, charts, the Industry Directory, and all the resources you need. Did I mention that it's all free? Indeed, it is.

If you prefer this column when I get all angry and critical about stuff, maybe I'll do that next week. Or not. If someone does something stupid, I'll probably rant about it then. See? It's all up to you.

WHERE THE ACTION ISN'T

Gotta take a pass tonight. Busy and tired. Pedro was OK until the fifth. Gotta go.

HT to Don Tandler for linking to this one, the Critters doing "Mr. Dieingly Sad" on "Where the Action Is":

MAC UPDATE

I've pretty much moved my primary work from the old PC to the MacBook Pro for the last couple of weeks. It's been interesting. For the most part, I like it. It's faster, and the process of finding, writing, and coding stories for the daily column goes faster; there's more drag and drop, and both Firefox and Safari are faster than IE 8 on the PC. I still use the PC for some things, including recording streaming audio and using Photoshop (yeah, I know, backwards, but I have yet to upgrade to CS4 and it's easier to use the old CS2 on the PC and use Pixlr and Aviary for editing and screen capture on the Mac right now, plus Pixlr and Aviary are my favorite price, free).

But not everything's perfect. The keyboard is still uncomfortable and sometimes less responsive than I'd like (dammit, I HIT the command key! Why won't you copy and paste for me?!?) and some apps on the Mac (I'm looking at you, Entourage) suck compared to their PC counterparts. Still, I'm pretty happy with the transition.

Does that make me a fanboy? Lord, I hope not.

Oh, yeah, I keep encountering sites that won't let me do stuff because they demand IE 6 or later on a PC. Note to site designers: This is 2009. There have been a sizeable number of Macs out there for years, and some Linux boxes, too. Get with it, please. No excuses.

UNWIRED

Facebook bought FriendFeed. That means... oh, I don't know. I'm on both, and I know there are a lot of folks who think FriendFeed is the one to use, but I don't. It repeats what I post on Twitter and Facebook, but for all I know there are people dogging my every statement on there and I wouldn't notice. There just aren't enough hours in the day for all of that.

Getting addicted to social networking is, of course, common, but I never quite get one thing: How do you maintain a normal life while doing all that? I don't mean that sitting in front of the computer is anti-social; I mean, when do you, like, eat, or go to the bathroom, or check the mailbox? But I see people constantly posting tweets, or status updates, or pictures and videos, and... man, it's too much.

It's too much, too, to ask to be disengaged from all of this for a while. I know I'm unable to totally walk away from the computer and the smartphone and all that; I couldn't even do it 100% on my week off. But I end up here, late, after starting work at 3 am, and it just amazes me that people will do this kind of marathon computer work voluntarily. At some point, you just want to get up and walk away, don't you? Doesn't your butt hurt?

Mine could use some time out of this office chair, so... excuse me.

Football started today with the Hall of Fame Game, as the... er... Tennessee's in it, right? Fact is, I haven't been paying attention, because it's TOO DAMN EARLY FOR FOOTBALL. Really, now. It's AUGUST 9TH. Training camp just started... and they're playing exhibition games? Are they that hard up for money?

Maybe so, because I read where the Chargers are having a hell of a time selling tickets this season. They admot to being several thousands short of a sellout for every game, and if they're admitting that, it's worse. The economy probably has people questioning whether dropping a few hundred on a football game is worth the cost. You can get blasted on a case of Milwaukee's Best and watch football for free on TV, and if the home team's blacked out, so what? You won't notice anyway.

Maybe this will bring sanity to sports. Probably not; the leagues won't admit defeat until teams fold. But I stand by my initial assertion. August 9th is TOO DAMN EARLY FOR FOOTBALL. I won't be ready until mid-September. Maybe the Eagles will still have a starter or two left uninjured by then.

GENERAL EXPRESSION OF BAD MOOD

It's been tough to watch Cole Hamels this year. Nobody's flailing at his changeup, and they're hitting his fastball. It's good that the Phillies got Lee and that Happ and, even in the last couple of losses, Blanton are throwing well. The offense has fallen quiet (Utley has disappeared). There shouldn't be this kind of stomach-churning dread when you have a big division lead. No need to panic, but it's been ugly for the last few days.

So has everything else. I won't go into details, but... ugh. Just brutal. I'm feeling a little battered by circumstances. We're fine, just dealing with stupid crap. That's life.

But it's cut into my desire to write anything here, or even Twitter. I'll get back into it soon enough. Right now, I'm more inclined to sink into the sofa and watch "Password" and "Mister Ed" reruns until I lose consciousness. I can't think of a better way to spend Saturday night right now.

NOT NOW

I am NOT in the mood tonight.

Sigh. Just... sigh. I'm going to go into the other room with Fran and just watch TV until my mind settles down.

THIS WEEK'S "THE LETTER": WHAT'S NEW?

This week's All Access newsletter wonders if there's a Jobs or Schmidt in the bunch. Not that I expect it:

So... what's next?

I've been thinking a lot about that lately while watching the radio industry do what it, and most other businesses, do in a time of crisis, which is circle the wagons, cut operations to the bone, and hope that the cavalry shows up before the creditors do. Sometimes, I suppose, that works, but when you're staring a shrunken advertising market in the face and the recovery looks like it'll be a slow-go for a while, and your biggest and best clients needed a federal taxpayer-funded bailout to survive, it's hard to keep positive right now.

All right, then, let's go back to that question: What's next? I'm not suggesting an answer here, but I AM suggesting that it's the question that the leadership of the radio industry had better start asking and answering before someone else does it for them.

A couple of times this week, I've heard people mention the old business mantra, "Innovate or Die." That phrase doesn't always apply -- there's plenty of money to be made with a good product that still fills a need and does it as well as or better than any competitive product. But in radio, I wonder where the innovation went. Think about the companies which are surviving the bad economy the best, and you get Google and Apple and other businesses which share a critical characteristic: They're constantly coming up with new businesses or radically improved or reworked versions of existing businesses, and they shake things up. There were search engines before Google, but Google figured out how to do it right and make it pay; since then, the company has constantly tried a wide range of new ventures, some successful, some abject failures. But the key is that they're still throwing a lot of ideas into the market, and every one that sticks gives them another market in which they can sell advertising. Some people were skeptical when Apple finally entered the cell phone business, because there already WERE smartphones, but the iPhone was, and is, a game changer. These companies have visionaries in the corporate office, and that vision gets passed on to the managers, the rank-and-file, and even the customers. There's constant innovation, constant development, constant thinking several steps ahead of the game.

Where are the radio industry's visionaries? It doesn't have to be on the CEO level, but who in radio is thinking ahead of the curve? Everyone can agree that just serving up programming in pattern on a standard terrestrial signal (HD or not) is a limited product in a rapidly changing competitive landscape, and that iPods and streaming and Pandora and cell phones are starting to take bites out of radio's business. We can also agree that, despite the new competition, radio isn't dead yet. But if the best innovation radio can do is to take the same music and rearrange it with a new slogan, that's not a good sign for the future.

(By the way, if you want proof that radio isn't thinking forward, take a look at radio station websites. I'll let you count the number of really good, non-cookie-cutter sites out there. You won't find many. But you WILL find plenty of corporate-template sites with rarely-updated content and the look and feel of a sales kit, and there's really no excuse for that. Oh, yeah, if your station established blogs for the talent and they haven't been updated in months, that's inexcusable, too)

So, what IS next? Should radio be serving up material for fans to remix and mash up and post on their own Facebook pages? Should talk shows extend to separate chats or "post-game" podcasts available on the Web or through iPhone apps or widgets? Should stations offer some kind of video chat so listeners can interact with each other while a show's going on? Should there be a way for fans to have their own "shows" distributed through the station's website? I don't know, but there ought to be someone at every company, someone at the NAB, someone at every level of radio whose job it is to just throw as many ideas out there as possible, whatever's technologically feasible and some that aren't... yet.

All I'm suggesting is that this industry needs more people willing to take chances, try new ideas, expand in unexpected ways, and lead, not follow. But if that's not going to happen anytime soon, then, please, will y'all just get someone to fix your websites and keep them updated with cool content? Please?

That would be a start.

=============================

Anyway, you gotta do a radio show, and there's a forward-thinkin' new-fangled Internet way to get your material together, and that happens to be Talk Topics, the show prep column at All Access News-Talk-Sports. Among the items available to you this week are stories about a valuable broken record, China's Internet Addiction Rehabilitation Camps, public officials who can't understand why sending out racist jokes through company e-mail (or any e-mail) is a bad thing, the prospect of a jobless recovery, another DUI on a riding mower, the booming business of tattoo removal, the Cash for Clunkers Craze, the settlement of the Little League sliding lawsuit, a tale of a runaway tractor, a 76 year old man, and a taser, a pet store employee's bad choice of Facebook pictures, breakfast at the movies, a 101 year old lawyer, the 10 worst promotional stunts, Eli Manning's contract, and much, much more. Plus, you can check out "10 Questions With..." "The Group Room" host and cancer fighter extraordinaire Selma Schimmel, and the rest of All Access with industry news, charts, columns, ratings, jobs, and more, all free.

Next week, I'll probably talk about a good reason to get out of the office, or something like that. In the meantime, see what you can do about that station website, okay? Thanks.

MADEA ROCKS OUT

Breaking news from KYW-TV/Philadelphia's Twitter account:

Yeah, I can see how you could get confused. They're so alike.

FINALLY, AN EXPLANATION

It looks like someone's cracked the code.

I was talking to a friend late this afternoon when she laughed and said, "you know, I have to remember to call you about this time of the day." And I understood what she was talking about. I was on a roll, spewing sardonic, slightly bitter, mildly angry, goofy, comic verbiage, which was quite entertaining to her but which I really should have been keeping to myself. As I continued, I could feel my brain cells melting and oozing from my ears. And I stopped, because if I didn't, there would be nothing left.

That explains my blogging lately. By the time I get to it, the brain cells, they are gone.

Which is why I do things like this -- some commercials:

15 YEARS

Fifteen years have passed, to the day, since my mother passed away. It's incredible to think that it's been that long. She was in her early sixties then, way too young to go, but she was gone that day, and I'm having a hard time processing that.

I sometimes wonder what Mom would have been doing now. It's hard to say. I don't think she would have taken to the Internet the way my dad did. I think she would have stayed the same, in that house back in Jersey, still loving us and still cutely (and, I think, deliberately, impishly) mangling the English language (it was not her first language). That image could be because I just want things to be the way they were before she got sick and my dad got sick and they died, but I can dream sometimes.

It's typical to think that she's looking down on us, me and my sister and my wife, smiling benevolently, up there with Dad. I don't know that I believe in that. But if she's looking down here, or my Dad has convinced her to get on the Net and they have broadband there and she's Googling me, Mom, I miss you more than you could ever know. Fifteen years later, I still wish you were here.

ARISTOPHANES? RIDICULOUS!

Mildly aggravating day today, a lot of work, a lot of stuff that has me agitated and tearing my hair out. If only there was some way to relax...

Aaahhh. "Password."

We used to relax with "What's My Line" reruns. Now, it's "Password," since GSN has dropped the former and is airing the latter. "Password" is the best relaxing TV show ever: You can "watch" it without even looking at the screen, you can play along, and you can fall dead asleep along with it. And, best of all, Allen Ludden is subversively snide; more than any other game show host, he practically insults the contestants when they screw up, but always with a paternal grin and an eye roll for the audience. Sublime, wonderful, and eminently worth DVRing.

The update, of course, sucks, because it's all lasers and neon and lightning rounds and noise. Regis is no Ludden. But the new one had its moments, including my friends The Regular Guys' resident videographer, "Southside Steve TV" producer, and virtually homeless RV resident Sebastian Daskewicz-Davis, who went on "Million Dollar Password" and... okay, it didn't go well:

If only every contestant could screw up like that, the show would have been massive.

TREAT ME RIGHT

There were a lot of "Team in Training" runners/walkers on PV Drive this morning. They're out every weekend; the route I use is a popular one for runners, and the TnT novices are a common sight. But this morning, for the first time in quite a while, I experienced a shutout: I said hello or good morning to every single TnT runner and got not even a nod or a glance back. They didn't even move to single file to let me pass. They just plodded ahead as if I wasn't there.

Look, if you're going to be out running, jogging, hiking, walking, crawling, whatever, at least be friendly. We're sharing the path and the road; no need to be an asshole. Lighten up, Francis.

=====================

I was listening to a Leo LaPorte "Tech Guy" show while I was running, one from last week, and he was talking about how nobody blogs anymore, how it's all Facebook and Twitter now. That's true, if not literally than in spirit. It seems like writing is being absorbed in 140 character bursts these days. I keep plowing on with this thing, but sometimes I wonder if it's worth the trouble. After all, you can also find me at Twitter and Facebook and it's way easier on my schedule to do just that, plus you can enjoy the comments and free exchange of ideas, including Dave Anthony and me sniping at each other over the relative merits of the Giants and the World F'ing Champions. But I kinda like having this corner of the Net, too, because I can write longer if I want, and I can post things like a clip of Roy Head writhing on the stage while singing "Treat Her Right" on "Shindig":

Classic.

Let's waste some time on a Saturday with some jazzy vocalizing by a trio you'll recognize:

My LORD, it's "Shenanigans!" I haven't seen this since I was, like, five:

The pilot for a game show I watched when I was a kid, "PDQ," with Dennis James and guest Stubby Kaye (from "Shenanigans") and announcer Kenny Williams (also from "Shenanigans"). There's a lot of stumbling over words and rules here, but it IS just a pilot:

The pilot for "The Match Game"!:

And Johnny Carson on "Do You Trust Your Wife," before it became the less incendiary "Who Do You Trust"; you could see already that this wasn't a game show so much as it was a vehicle for Carson to be Carson, almost exactly like "You Bet Your Life" was really "Groucho And His Convenient Foils." Note the cheesy graphics, even by 1958 standards. And while the YouTube page claims that Ed McMahon was Johnny's announcer, at this stage Ed was still in Philly and Bill Nimmo was the announcer:


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