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July 23, 2006 - July 29, 2006 Archives

July 23, 2006

ZOT!

Too damn hot again. Taking the day off.

Check out our lightning show from last night, from the Daily Breeze website. Too bad it didn't cool us off.


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July 24, 2006

BAD NEIGHBOR POLICY

The jackhammering started early today. It's going on now. I can't work in this office. I can't hear the phone. The jackhammers are going just a few feet outside my office window, I have no alternate arrangements for work, and it's impossible to work here.

The neighbors could have warned us in advance but didn't feel the need to bother. Their permit's all legal, no notice required. To be good neighbors, sure, they should have said something months ago when they planned this, but because they didn't HAVE to, they didn't. They said last week that the jackhammering would only be for a few hours that day- they lied, because it's been all day today, they're not even half done, no end in sight. And now I'm stuck- I spoke to the planning department and the response was, hey, sorry, sucks to be you.

So what the hell can I do? Anybody got any ideas, other than moving, which isn't going to happen? (Keep it legal- yes, I could blast my stereo when I start work at 4 am, but that is not an option) I'm not looking for revenge, but short of spending thousands of dollars relocating my office to a leased facility- which would wipe out most of my income anyway- what options do I have? And what would you do if your neighbor pulled this kind of crap on you?

The husband, when the jackhammering started and I went to find out what the hell was going on, said that he wants to be a good neighbor. I'm waiting for them to start.

In the meantime, click on the picture below for the latest in a series of short films from the House of PMSimon.com, this year's leading contender for Best Picture, ladies and gentleman...

"JACKHAMMER!"


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July 25, 2006

IN WHICH I INDULGE MY LOVE OF USELESS TV EPHEMERA, PART I

Allow me to test this: I want to show you how lame and boring I am with some of my favorite YouTube clips. If it works, here's the ID for WTAF-TV in Philadelphia circa 1979, a jingle that drilled itself into my brain because I saw it a zillion times in college:

If it works, expect more of this crap while YouTube lasts. There's a lot of it. If it doesn't, you've been saved. For now.


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IN WHICH I INDULGE ETC., PART II

It worked, so y'all are in trouble now.

This was a regular feature of my afterschool routine, every day at, well, 4:30, of course:

And I remember this news theme from the late 70's or thereabouts, a radical departure for the time, composed by David Amram and preceded by the announcement every kid who grew up within range of channel 5 in New York remembers- "It's 10 pm. Do you know where your children are?" I was in the other room:

Many more from my favorites list coming up.


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July 26, 2006

BACK TO THE MOVIES: THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED SEQUEL

By popular demand, here it is, the sequel, ripped from today's headlines...

"Jackhammer II: Electric Boogaloo."


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July 27, 2006

"BUSINESSMAN'S SPECIAL": THE TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

And now, the rest of the story.

I was working late this morning when the cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, you near a TV?"

"Uh, well, I can bring it up on my monitor. Why?"

"I'm on TBS."

I heard crowd noise behind him. "You're on TBS? What for?"

"The game." Aha. Braves-Marlins. That's right, it's a day game. I got Media Center working and put TBS on the screen.

"I don't see you." Or the game, for that matter.

"It's a commercial break. When they come back, you'll see me. Right behind home plate."

The break ended, the game came on, the home plate shot was there. "Nope. Are you..."

"It's a left-handed batter. When the next guy comes up, they'll switch centerfield cameras and you'll see me."

Nope. "They keep... every time they move the camera in your direction, they cut away just before... hey, I think I saw a cell phone."

"It's deliberate. I think they see me on the cell phone and..."

"No, they put a woman in a yellow shirt on close-up, and she had a cell phone."

And the conversation went like that for most of an inning. Most of the time, the shot got as close as this:

That shoulder in the front row all the way to the right? In the light blue shirt? Right there. That shoulder got a lot of airtime.

Some close calls, too (he's behind the batter's head):

Until, finally, after a long wait, paydirt:

And now you know where to find Waldo the Radio Star in this one, too:

Why? Because we're, pardon the expression, regular guys. And that's what guys do. Some of my most cherished memories were when I'd call my dad from whatever game I was at- "hey, Dad, guess where I am? Lakers-Pistons!" My friend Joe always calls when he's at Citizen's Bank Park. You go to a game, you share it.

Plus, it does beat work.

Of course, I am adamantly against people within camera range calling on a cell phone to tell friends to look for them on TV, but only when it's someone else doing the calling. Me and MY friends, well, we're different. I'll let you know why when I figure that out myself.


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July 28, 2006

ANOTHER SEQUEL- WITH EXTRA ADDED ACTION!

Herewith, the third installment in the Jackhammer! Trilogy, "Jackhammer! III: Doin' It By Hand."

But be advised: this one adds ACTION! And SPECIAL EFFECTS!

"Forget Miami- the REAL 'Vice' is in Palos Verdes!"- Roger Ebert (Under Sedation), Chicago Sun-Times


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July 29, 2006

MORE TV LEFTOVERS

Because this weekend's being taken up with work around the house, here's more YouTubery:

KYW-TV's Eyewitness News, the way I remember it from almost 30 years ago, with a very familiar, later-infamous anchor:

This one's from 1957- a station ID that includes a promo for the ORIGINAL Washington Senators, plus promotes the talk show of a guy later known for spending a zillion dollars launching independent stations that went bust:

Where do people GET this stuff? There wasn't any such thing as a VCR in 1957! It's the kind of TV detritus that I love- the stuff you vaguely remember but nobody thought to save. Forget the actual shows- it's the commercials, the IDs, the promos that I want to see.

Like this, from a commercial break on a "Star Trek" rerun, aired on WFLD in Chicago in '83:

Or a "WKRP" promo from the late, lamented WKBS, channel 48 in Philadelphia, maybe the best of the three UHF independents of the era, the one killed off when Field Communications sold off its stations:

It's all meaningless to 99.99% of society. Maybe that's why I like seeing it.


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About July 2006

This page contains all entries posted to PMSimon.com in July 2006. They are listed from oldest to newest.

July 16, 2006 - July 22, 2006 is the previous archive.

July 30, 2006 - August 5, 2006 is the next archive.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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