This week's All Access newsletter dealt with some of my annoyances this week and what talk radio folks can learn from my pain:
This week: ye olde cell-phone-in-the-movie-theater topic and what it means for talk radio. Sort of. Bear with me here.
We went to a couple of movies this weekend, because it was as hot as it gets around here and we don't have A/C (we depend on the ocean breeze, and the ocean let us down). Before the movie, the theater showed a series of messages with the same message:
-Turn off your cell phone.
-Quiet! Be courteous- don't talk and silence your ringer.
-Cingular says: turn off your cell phones. Thanks!
-For the last time, turn off the damn cell phone or we'll come and smash it with a sledgehammer!
Okay, I made the last one up, but you've seen the messages. They repeat it over and over, and with each one, you see people finally realizing THIS MEANS ME! and pulling out their RAZRs and Nokias and turning them off for the duration. All but one- the woman behind me. About a half hour into the picture ("The Devil Wears Prada"- what can I say, Fran wanted to see it and I wanted two hours of air conditioning), the woman's phone rang.
And she answered it.
And she started a conversation.
And I turned around and told her to take it outside. And she didn't.
And another guy told her to shut up. And she didn't.
And after she finished her call, she and her husband proceeded to loudly finish lines of dialogue before the actors could, and congratulated each other for guessing correctly what they'd say.
The point: the theater had told the audience at least three times to shut the hell up, and at least one couple DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE. It was projected in huge letters right in front of their eyes, it was read over the sound system, it's common sense, and she somehow managed to miss ALL of it.
The talk radio point: when your PD or consultant tells you to repeat the call letters and repeat the topic and repeat the phone number over and over, there's a reason. For every listener who whines that you say that stuff too much, there are dozens who won't retain anything unless you say it and say it again and say it over and over and over until it sinks in. Think that's trivial? Put a ratings diary in one of those thick-headed listener's hands. And having reviewed a lot of ratings diaries, I can tell you that a lot of diarykeepers can't always tell you what they're listening to, so you have to help them along a little. Repetition aids retention. But you knew that.
Another point: I got angry from this couple's behavior. I couldn't enjoy the rest of the movie because of it. (And because the movie isn't all that good, but that's a separate issue) This week, not only was there the cell phone thing, but I discovered our neighbors had gotten a permit to add an extension that will mean construction noises right outside my office window all day for the next three months, I got caught behind someone driving well below the speed limit in the car pool lane on the 405 because, well, they could, a doctor's appointment started over an hour and a half late with no explanation, and the Phillies' bullpen couldn't hold a three run lead in the seventh. Each one of things pushed me to the brink of blowing my stack.
That's bad for my blood pressure and bad for anyone near me at the time, but that's the kind of passion that's good for talk radio. Think about what YOU like to listen to or watch: do you prefer hearing someone discuss something with no passion or vested interest in it, or someone melting down over a minor issue? Use that energy and passion- if something has you spitting mad, talk about it on the air. (Critics always say talk radio's just a bunch of angry people anyway- might as well talk about stuff you're REALLY angry about)
And if, unlike me, you aren't aggravated on a daily basis, you can always check the vast collection of topic fodder, news links, and stupid jokes located in the Talk Topics column at All Access News-Talk-Sports. This week so far, you'll find items about the invasion of the Juggalos, what cell phones and your pet have in common, the folks who are selling "modest" women's bathing suits, whether "funny" is stil funny almost 50 years later, another reason not to take a cruise (replete with "Titanic" references), why most people stop their cars before changing drivers on the road, how goofing off in class has gone high-tech, the rules for office attire in this ridiculously hot weather, why raising wolves for fun and profit might not be a good idea, how the Great Southwest Airlines Assigned Seating Experiment is going so far, why some folks are putting worms in their trash baskets, this year's Best Place To Live that probably isn't where YOU live, why the patrons at record stores are looking a little longer in the tooth, the use of Barry Manilow as a weapon, and how your employer may outsource your major surgeries to India, plus plenty of links about the war in the Middle East, the heat wave, and cow chip throwing contests- you know, the "real" news. Later today, I'll add "10 Questions With..." GreenStone Media morning co-host/comic/reporter/Renaissance woman Maureen Langan, and the Talent Toolkit with sites for unusual background information about the Israel-Hezbollah war is already posted. And you can wander through the rest of All Access with the industry's fastest/best/most independent news coverage, columns galore, the incredibly complete Industry Directory, radio's best job listings, message boards so you can burn your bridges, and all sorts of other radio- and music-related stuff. Check it out- it's all free.
Next Week: Okay, I'll stop promising next week's topic, because I always change my mind. I'm sure it'll be something involving me being irritated again. It's what I do.
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