PMSimon.com

These (Monday through Wednesday) were supposed to be my "vacation" days, but I can't help myself, so I've been updating Talk Topics and the columns and even some Net News items regardless of the fact that I'm supposed to be relaxing and staying away from the computer and just enjoying some well-deserved idleness for a few short days. My mind is always in work mode. Can't turn it off.

And maybe that comes from my years in radio, where "vacation" means "opportunity for your boss to replace you." Personally, I never got the ax upon returning from vacation- they usually got tired of waiting for me to TAKE a vacation and just canned me when Bigger Name Program Director suddenly became available. And I never pulled that on any of my staff- I could never get used to the whole "no, that's okay, your shift is covered. Why don't you come with me to my office where I'll tell you about our future plans in which you play no part" thing. I'm no good at executions.

But while I've been trying to not think about the business, I've been, naturally, thinking about the business, and where it's going, especially after last week's Letter and the number of hosts who are out there looking for jobs. I think we all know that what's coming down the road is, um, a lot of "radio": satellite, Internet, WiMax, podcasts. The model of having a local station broadcasting from an antenna to your car radio may not go away, but it'll be joined by other options. You know about satellite, and you know that when it becomes feasible to deliver streaming Internet audio to car radios, all bets are off.

What does this mean to your career? When anyone can have a "radio station," when there's an unlimited number of choices, when anyone anywhere will be able to put a show on the air, what then? What jobs will there be? How will you make a living?

I don't know. I still don't know.

I don't know how anyone will be able to make money when there's an infinite number of stations dividing up a finite audience. I don't know how a podcast/time-shifting model will make money when it's so easy to fast-forward through commercials (live spots? How many live spots that sound like program content can you cram into an hour?). I don't know how this is all going to play out.

I DO know that it isn't happening yet.

Oh, sure, satellite is here, and podcasting, and streaming, but so far regular old terrestrial broadcast radio is still alive. The vast majority of people use "regular radio." The critical mass of listeners are still with "regular radio." And it'll take years and years before even a majority of cars have satellite and even longer before they have Internet streaming. I think things are gonna change, and the changes will offer a lot of opportunity for creative people to do creative entertainment and information. But we're only part-way there. Most of the alternatives to terrestrial broadcast radio will take a while before they can pay you enough to cover your rent and food.

So, back to career opportunities, just like last week. If you're an aspiring talk show host, or a talker looking for a better opportunity, what should you do?

You could try a podcast. It won't make you any money. Not yet, anyway. Maybe in several years when the advertisers are there, but not at the moment. You can use them as airchecks, and as creative outlets, and as a promotional tool, but it won't pay the bills.

You could try streaming - same thing. The financial structure isn't there yet. Might as well just podcast and save the money you'd spend on bandwidth.

You could keep applying to terrestrial radio, sending off CDs and MP3s and networking like crazy. That's probably your best bet right now. Maybe Wall Street thinks it's an industry in trouble, maybe your average 16 year old just doesn't listen to radio at all, maybe it's lost any glamour it once had, but, you know, of all the options right at this very minute, it's still the best chance for you to make a living doing this, and it's where most of the listeners are.

Or you could just sign for lots of money with satellite or a network, and... what? You're not a celebrity thinking that dabbling in radio "might be fun"? Oh. Forget I said anything.

No matter which route you take, however, you'll need material. Lucky for you there's All Access News-Talk-Sports and the Talk Topics show prep column, where despite my "vacation" I've been adding topics all week long, including stories about two-headed snakes (not on a plane), the angriest city in America (and it's not Philadelphia!), how the increased security at airports didn't prevent a kid from boarding a plane without a ticket or a woman from a) bringing hand cream on board or b) going nuts, a guy who's been arrested a lot (and that's an understatement), the end of Mr. KentuckyFriedCruelty.com, another study claiming coffee is actually good for you, a politician in hot water for using an alleged racial slur that's probably new to everyone, the return of Pac-Man, exploding laptops, all sorts of government-sanctioned traffic problems, and the truth behind those "push to cross street" buttons AND wine ratings (separate stories), plus links and comments about the ceasefire, terror, airport security, and Paris Hilton, "10 Questions With..." syndicated "Family Matters Radio" co-host and (equally to her co-host) cool person Jacquie Chakirelis, the Talent Toolkit with resorces to tell you exactly what you can and can't carry onto airplanes, and the rest of All Access with news and columns and message boards and the Industry Directory and it's all free and I do believe I've just broken the all-time record for longest sentence ever.