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October 14, 2007 - October 20, 2007 Archives

October 14, 2007

ENTHUSIASM SUCCESSFULLY CURBED

I didn't like "Curb Your Enthusiasm" at first. It seemed to try too hard to set up situations in which Larry David could do or say something outrageous and unforgivable. But I did eventually get into the show, and I've watched it ever since. With a few dips -- "The Producers" comes to mind -- it's been a reliably funny show. This season, though...

It sucks. Not funny. Shark, jumped.

This season's episodes are doing what I felt about the show in the first place. It's setting up unrealistic situations and Larry's comments and reactions are more non sequiturish than ever, the kind of stuff not even a socially inept boor like he would say. In the good old days, he'd say something stupid but in context, and the comedy would depend on his ineptitude in recovering -- he dug himself deeper as he tried to repair the initial damage. This season, he's just mean, like tonight when he continued to insult the deaf woman's dog even after apologizing to her husband. The situations are more than ever artificial setups telegraphing a later gag, tonight's being his sudden need to shout "spider!" and stomp on one in the schoolyard to the revulsion of all, which was there in order to set up the climactic gag in the theater. And none of it was funny.

The show wasn't a lock to return this season -- I wish it hadn't, because nothing in this season is raising good memories of earlier seasons. Time to go away, Larry.

==============

Much more entertaining, on the other hand, has been the Colorado-Arizona playoff game tonight, not for the game itself (Torrealba's three run blast notwithstanding) but rather the apocalyptic atmosphere of the steady downpour.

Bad weather -- rain for baseball, snow for football -- always makes for good sports watching... on TV. You wouldn't want to be sitting there in the cold with rain pelting you something fierce. But on TV, it looks like that movie with Wesley Snipes as a pre-steroids Barry Bonds-type and De Niro as his stalker, the one where the climax occurs in what appears to be a Category 5. In the dark. Good times. If every game was played in at least a tropical storm... ah, well, one can dream.


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October 15, 2007

TIME-WASTING SCAN THEATER: VINTAGE CLEVELAND INDIANS PROGRAMS

Let's honor one of the combatants in the American League Championship Series tonight:

From 1973:

And 1974:

These were from the bad old mediocre days of the Indians. The 1973 team finished in last place, the 1974 team in 4th. It wasn't like they didn't have talent, though; a very young Chris Chambliss was at first, Buddy Bell at 3rd, Oscar Gamble was the DH, and George Hendrick and John Lowenstein were in the outfield. Gaylord Perry -- an old man at 34 in 1973 -- was the ace. But they had little pitching, traded Chambliss in '74, ended up with what was left of Frank Robinson that same year (he later became the manager), and also had the remains of Rico Carty pass through.

What those teams were best known for, however, happened on June 4, 1974, about a month before the game the second program above was for (a July game against the Angels). June 4 was Ten Cent Beer Night, Indians vs. Rangers, forfeited due to riot. 25,000 people showed up to pound Stroh's -- no limit! -- and streak, moon, flash, and throw stuff onto the field, eventually engaging the Rangers in an on-field rumble, prompting a forfeit. Amusingly, this program still lists three more ten cent beer nights scheduled that season; if I recall correctly, they did sell ten cent beer but put a limit on how many you could buy.

But on July 26, you could see these folks:

I wonder if Ol' George showed up. And that is some kinda hair he's rocking there.


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October 16, 2007

WAAAAAAAAHHHHH

Another way long day. It's getting to me again -- too much work, not enough time. I started writing this morning at 3:45 am and it's 8:36 now, and I just finished a couple of minutes ago. Every time I tried to take a break, like on my daily long run, I had to stop, pull out the Treo, and write stories, because the news didn't take a break, whether it was Howie Carr's court loss in Boston or the strange Randi Rhodes saga fueled by some irresponsible folks on the Net, right up to a few minutes ago.

So I have no time to write what I enjoy writing, and no inclination to be creative. I can't even just sit down and watch some TV to relax -- I missed tonight's Indians-Red Sox game in its entirety because I was working. Not enough sleep, no down time, not good.

On the other hand, it's not like I'm breaking my back on the docks in San Pedro. But what I do is draining, and it leaves little time for relaxing, or playing around (my Wii is waiting), or reading, or... this. So I reserve the right to whine and complain, knowing that it's annoying and boring and unbefitting of a balanced, responsible adult. But I never claimed to be a balanced, responsible adult, did I?


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October 17, 2007

EVERYBODY LOVES YORVIT

No time at all tonight, so here's a picture of Yorvit Torrealba:

It's been a long, slow, tough week, so Yorvit will have to do.


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October 18, 2007

THIS WEEK'S "THE LETTER": KNOW YOUR ENEMY

This week's All Access newsletter is an exercise in knowing what we're up against:

I'm going to make this one quick, because it's been a long week, I'm cranky and tired, and there's a ballgame to watch, so here ya go, some thoughts on block programming sales, which came up again in the news this week. After the idea was floated, then floated away for now, some people asked me what I thought about it, and I told them this: I understood exactly why a station would consider it.

What? Understand it? Have I lost my mind? (Yes, but that's not relevant here) Isn't that exactly against what I always say about infomercials? Hold on, I'm not endorsing the practice, not at all. What I'm saying is that I understand why a station would look into it and why, in some cases, it would seem to make sense to do it. (Putting the infomercials on is still ultimately the wrong decision to make, but I'll get to that. Bear with me.)

The idea of brokering time on an otherwise non-brokered station is really the market at work. Look, put yourself in the General Manager's position. You're being pounded by corporate to get revenues up, and when you do, they want you to get them up even more. Every quarter, it's the same thing. It's your job to make more money, and spot advertising is not cutting it. So if you can get a good buck selling off-peak time in half-hour or hour blocks, you're going to look at that.

But won't that ruin the station's programming? Yeah, but you're getting ahead of yourself. Before that, do the math: the station could pay a host, say, a few hundred bucks to do a local show, plus maybe a board op. And then the sales staff has to go out and sell the spots, and in an off-peak time period, that won't amount to much. It might only mean clearing network and ROS spots. Or you could do syndication -- same thing, without the talent fee, minus a few barter spots. Or you sell the blocks, rake in good money, and incur zero expenses -- pure profit. Looking at it that way, you can't refuse to consider it. You'd be failing your duty to your bosses and your shareholders if you didn't look into it. And it sounds like a no-brainer.

But it also, of course, poses a long-term threat to the station's programming. And... well, this is where a PD or talent has to have his or her arguments ready to go. If you're trying to argue against what appears to be a safe-bet cash infusion, you'd better bring your A-game for the debate. Here's what I'd argue:

1. There is no such thing as off-peak where programming is concerned. There's no throwaway time. Any time any listener might happen to tune in needs to have compelling programming. If you're doing anything else, you're risking driving that listener away for good. (I'm up early every day, including weekends. I expect quality radio when I tune in, any time I tune in. Give me the Antioxidant Hour and I'll change that preset)

2. You need to have a bench ready to go for other dayparts. Any time sold to a brokered show is a lost chance to help develop your next morning host, your next afternoon host, your next star. You can't complain about the lack of available talent while cutting the opportunity for new talent down to zero.

3. Brokering means you lose control. You're risking your station's reputation. If there's a case of Body Solutions in your prize closet, you know what I mean. With a local show, what goes out over the air is yours. With a legitimate syndicated show, you know what the quality will be. With an infomercial, quality is job none.

4. Yes, it's hard to sell spots for those weekend shifts. Maybe that's where you can sell spots to clients who can't afford your prime rates. Maybe that's what you can have trainee salespeople try to sell. Maybe you can test out selling single-sponsor hours or some other unusual opportunity. It's a chance for the sales department to be creative.

5. If it's such a great deal, why not sell time every day? Why not sell it in middays? Wouldn't you get a LOT of money for that? What? It would hurt ratings and hurt the station's ability to make money in other dayparts and give the station a bad image and sound? Exactly. (Be careful -- you don't want to give anyone any bright ideas)

And if all of this falls on deaf ears, well, at least you tried. But have some sympathy for the GM, as hard as that may be to muster. If you've never sold advertising, you have no idea what pressure there is to sell, especially now with spot revenue down. So if you're a PD and the sales department or GM comes to you with something you know is crazy and would kill your ratings, hear them out, be understanding, smile... and tell them no. But be ready to make your arguments well, because the other side has one compelling argument that's hard to beat: money.

That's enough for now, because it's late on Thursday as I write this and I want to get back to watching Manny being Manny, so let's quickly race through the plug for All Access News-Talk-Sports and the Talk Topics show prep column. Here's what's there this week: tornadoes, Joe Torre, opera-singing fullbacks, bad airport screeners, exploding mailboxes, the late Joey Bishop, Manny indeed being Manny, immigration trouble, '60s-style protests, "white-out" copycats, abandoned shopping carts, the Hobbit Grille, engagement ring lawsuits, the late Teresa Brewer, workplace swearing, BEE ATTACK!!!!, and Escape From New Jersey, plus much, much more. And there's "10 Questions With..." syndicated auto expert Bobby Likis of Car Care Clinic fame, and the rest of All Access like the industry's best news coverage and columns and message boards and ratings and music charts and more that I'd remember better had Internet Explorer not just spontaneously shut down. I swear, I'm THIS close to buying a Mac. Anyway, All Access is radio's best resource and it's all free, so come on over.

Last thing: Saturday's my wedding anniversary -- 17 years! -- so... Happy Anniversary, Fran. And I'm fully aware that mentioning it in this letter is not a substitute for a card. Or a present. (Can't blame me for trying)


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October 19, 2007

ANYTHING FOR SWAG: THE DEBUT OF "WHAT'S YOUR STORY?"

Here you go, Larry, the first official episode of SuperDeluxe's "What's Your Story?":

Now, where's my t-shirt?


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October 20, 2007

THE ANNIVERSARY PLOTZ

Today was our 17th anniversary, Fran and mine, and it was a really nice day. We had tea -- tea! -- at the Huntington Library and Botanical Garden in San Marino, strolled amongst the roses and herbs and trees, did some shopping at Century City where I practically moved into the Apple Store -- I am SO close to springing for an iPod Touch, and I'm going to find an iMac or MacBook hard to resist next time I have to upgrade the computers -- and that was pretty much it. But it was just nice to spend time together, and it reminded me of how lucky I am to be part of Fran's life and to have her be part of mine. We've been through a lot together. I'm more grateful every year that we'll be together for more, whatever comes our way.

Tea at the Huntington is a buffet, very girly and petite for a buffet, all finger sandwiches and stuff like that, but good. I loaded up on fruit and cheese and tiny but wonderful desserts -- brownies, fruit tarts, little chocolate mousse cups -- until I was about to burst. But in a good way. Still, I'm gonna need some man food, like barbecue anything, to balance out the daintiness. After tea and scones, something that goes with beer is the only antidote.

As for the roses, the ones at the Huntington are prize-winners and specially bred, and carry all sorts of fancy names. Some are named after famous people. You'd expect Bob Hope here:

And Cary Grant isn't a stretch, either:

I loved this one:

And game show panelists were similarly honored:

Wanna see Barbara's bush?:

Unlike the namesake's business, these plants didn't seem to be struggling:

But you can't make up this one -- Rosie's roses are dead:

They probably committed suicide after discovering whose name they carry.

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I don't want to end this with a downer, but early thins morning, I ran past one hell of a crime scene. According to the paper, there had been a high speed chase along the road that winds around the edge of the cliffs, the road along which I run, and the driver of the car being chased drove it right off a cliff and crashed to the ocean 200 feet below. The driver was killed, and a passenger is missing. But when you see where the car went, you can't imagine anyone surviving. Here's a shot I took with my crappy Treo camera looking down 200 feet to the rocks and surf below:

That black spot in the middle, at the edge of the water, is the car. The roof was caved in, and it just sat there with the water buffeting it. Maybe it wasn't such a necessity for that guy to escape from the cops after all. In retrospect, jail would have been an improvement.


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About October 2007

This page contains all entries posted to PMSimon.com in October 2007. They are listed from oldest to newest.

October 7, 2007 - October 13, 2007 is the previous archive.

October 21, 2007 - October 27, 2007 is the next archive.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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